What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up? An umbrella
Dad, “You usually talk a lot on the phone. Why did you only talk half an hour?” Daughter, “It was a wrong number!”
On which side of an ostrich are the feathers? The outside!
After a careful examination the doctor said, “ I’m sorry to tell you that you’ve only got four hours to live.
Is there anyone you want to see before you go?” “Yes,” answered the patient. “ Another doctor.”
“Joey, can you come out and play?” “No. I have to help my dad do my homework.”
Why did the clown take off his shoes? His feet felt funny.
What did the elevator say to the doctor? “I’m coming down with something.”
Where do spices go when they are sick? To see Dr. Pepper.
What did the gum say to the shoe? “I’m stuck on you.”
What is the longest word in English? Smiles Smiles There’s a mile between each “s”.