T.I.G.E.R Communication System Malfunction Report: Or: “ Customer Service ”...unsupervised.

T.I.G.E.R In order to help us serve you better: Please answer all of the following in as much detail as possible. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Please explain the problem you are currently experiencing: ________________________________ ______________________________ Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Please explain the problem you are currently experiencing: ________________________________ ______________________________ 2.Now explain the real problem: ________________________________ ______________________________ Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Have you attempted to fix the problem yourself? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Have you attempted to fix the problem yourself? Y N 4. Did you ask a friend or colleague who “knows a lot about this stuff” to help you fix the problem? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R While you or your colleague were attempting to fix the problem, did you: Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R While you or your colleague were attempting to fix the problem, did you: - Make the initial problem even worse? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R While you or your colleague were attempting to fix the problem, did you: - See a bright “flash” of light, followed by a brief whiff of ozone? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R While you or your colleague were attempting to fix the problem, did you: - Have to put any fires out with water, coffee or other immediately available beverages? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R While you or your colleague were attempting to fix the problem, did you: - Cause any other connected technology components to suddenly & “surprisingly” fail? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R What exactly were you doing when the system suddenly failed? ____________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ __________________. In that case... Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Please explain how it is possible for the system to have so completely failed when you were “not touching anything at the time”: _____________________________ _____________________. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Did you read the manual? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Did you read the manual? Y N 9. Have you used the system successfully in the past? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Did you read the manual? Y N 9. Have you used the system successfully in the past? Y N 10. If you answered “Yes” to items #8 and #9, why can’t you fix the system yourself? Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R During previous instances of system failure, were you involved in either using the system at the time or in attempts to “fix” the problem after it occurred? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Have you ever noticed that technology often seems to fail when you are using it or any time you are the one who is instructing someone else how to operate it? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R If you were not in any way involved in any system failures in the past, do you know who was involved? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R If you were not in any way involved in any system failures in the past, do you know who was involved? Y N 14. Is this person in the office today? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Can you blame them for the current malfunction without them finding out it was you who blamed them? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Can you blame them for the current malfunction without them finding out it was you who blamed them? Y N 15(b). Can you think of anyone else who can be blamed? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Does anyone (other than yourself) know that this system is currently broken (and, if so, will they agree not to tell anyone else the circumstances that led to the current failure)? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R (b) If unsure, can you think of a very embarrassing secret the other person told you that would get them into a lot of trouble if it became more widely known? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Is there an identical system or component in your office that is working, and can you swap your broken unit for the working unit without being noticed? Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Can you make it look like vandals broke this system? (If so, can you make it look like vandals broke into your office and stole this system?) Y N Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Why aren’t you calling the system manufacturer or the original supplier in order to obtain technical support? _____________________________ __________________. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Why won’t the system manufacturer or the original supplier take your technical- support calls anymore? _____________________________ _____________________________ _________________. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R What makes you think that we will not make the same accusations? _______________ _____________________________ ________________________. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Who told you to call us, and who made your call to us possible by giving you our telephone number and a contact name at our office? __________________________ _________________. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Do you know of any device ever invented that would enable someone to accurately measure the depth and breadth to which we could care less about your problem? Y N (Only correct answer - - ) Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Is there anything we can say or do that will cause you to: Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Is there anything we can say or do that will cause you to: - Hang up now, and Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Is there anything we can say or do that will cause you to: - Hang up now, and - Never call us again, and Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Is there anything we can say or do that will cause you to: - Burn the slip of paper in front of you that has our name and this telephone number written on it? Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Thank you for contacting us. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Thank you for contacting us. We will get to your problem as soon as this form rises to the top of the list. Communication System Malfunction Report:

T.I.G.E.R Thank you for contacting us. We will get to your problem as soon as this form rises to the top of the list. Good luck! Communication System Malfunction Report:

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