UWG Training 2012 © Stephen M. Thompson

Sexual Aggression MANIFESTS THROUGH – SEXUAL ASSAULT – STALKING – INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE – HARASSMENT © Stephen M. Thompson

ATTITUDE CHECK!! Attitudes/Laws driven by myths. – Lord Hale – Freud – Amir Judgment vs. Responsibility Media perpetuates the myths. © Stephen M. Thompson

BACKGROUND INFORMATION SEXUAL ASSAULT Targeting rate approaching 50% of females. 5% Report rate Over 90% of targets are women. Rural setting 98% Familiar. Nationally, 85% Familiar © Stephen M. Thompson

FALSE ACCUSATION Wrongly Classified Due To: Inconsistent statements Untrue aspects Recanting Does not fit “Real Rape” model – A Stranger – Report Immediately – Resist Attacker – Injuries © Stephen M. Thompson

COMMON REASONS FOR NOT REPORTING Know the offender. Fear Do not want anyone to know. Feel no one will believe them. Lack of apparent injuries. Do not classify it as an assault. © Stephen M. Thompson

Common Factors for Not Charging Little or no physical force. Relationship No corroboration Victim credibility Race

Legal Defenses to Sexual Assault Survivor consented. Someone else did it. It did not happen. Other – Rough sex – “Sexsomnia” – Did not mean to. – Business deal gone bad. – A “syndrome”.

Sexual Assault Sexual assault is anytime, anyone does anything of a sexual nature where there is not consent. Consent can not be given or withheld when one is drunk, or drugged. Consent Coercion Force MutualSelf-Centered Intimidate WelcomePressure Threaten DesirableDeceive Fear Stephen M. Thompson

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF RAPISTS “State” vs. “Trait” Premeditated – Stranger – rape. – Familiar – “score” Motives – Control/Power – Sexual Domination – Sexual Gratification

Perpetrators Are: Persons responsible for violating a rule, law, or policy. The initiators of illegal or improper behaviors. “You don’t accidentally become an asshole, it takes a bit of work.” Ozzy Osbourne © Stephen M. Thompson 2009

Responding To Illegal or Inappropriate Behavior and Situations  Notice  Interpret  Your interpretation then calls for a Choice: Participate Intercede Ignore

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF RAPISTS “State” vs. “Trait” Premeditated – Stranger – rape. – Familiar – “score” Motives – Control/Power – Sexual Domination – Sexual Gratification © Stephen M. Thompson

SEXUAL ASSAULT TYPES TYPE I – SEXUAL CONFRONTORS NEIGHBORHOOD VOYEUR “NICE GUY” RETALIATOR MOTIVES CONTROL/POWER SEXUAL DOMINATION SEXUAL GRATIFICATION © Stephen M. Thompson

TYPE II - VIOLENT SEXUAL ATTACK VIOLENT DEGRADER LUST KILLER - NON-SOCIAL/SERIAL LUST KILLER - ASOCIAL/DISORGANIZED SADISTIC – SERIAL SIGNATURE SADISTIC - DISORGANIZED MOTIVES: CONTROL/POWER NEED TO INFLICT PAIN SEXUAL DEGRADATION © Stephen M. Thompson

TYPE III – CHILD RAPISTS ADOLESCENT MALE/FEMALE SITUATIONAL – REGRESSED – SEXUALLY INDISCRIMINATE – MORALLY INDISCRIMINATE – MENTALLY IMPAIRED PREFERENTIAL – SEDUCTIVE GROOMER – GRABBER – KILLER © Stephen M. Thompson

BEHAVIOR PATTERN OF STRANGERS Step One – Target Selection – Based upon predators perception of vulnerability. – Three criteria: “Spot” Age of target Sense of controllability (submissive) © Stephen M. Thompson

BEHAVIOR SEQUENCE OF STRANGERS Step Two Approach/Test Moves into “attack zone”. Subtle control of target. Acts, forcing a reaction from the target. Is assessing selection and potential to create variables. © Stephen M. Thompson

Rape Trauma Target Reaction to Approach/Test The “Voice” Phase of Trauma – Uneasy feeling – Recognize potential – Denial © Stephen M. Thompson

BEHAVIORAL PATTERN OF STRANGERS Step Three – Intimidation Becomes aggressive and makes intentions known. Threats with consequence. Amount of aggression and response to resistance identifies the type of predator. © Stephen M. Thompson

Rape Trauma Target Reaction to Intimidation Impact Phase of Trauma – Helpless – Shock – Fear – Disbelief – Powerless – Immobilized © Stephen M. Thompson

BEHAVIORAL PATTERN OF STRANGERS Step Four – Sexual Violation Signature – who he is. Paraphilia © Stephen M. Thompson

BEHAVIORAL PATTERN OF STRANGERS Step Five Termination – Goal is for the target to not report. – Four favored methods: Threat Simply leave Guilt or plead for understanding Kill © Stephen M. Thompson

Rape Trauma Target Reaction to Termination Acute Phase of Rape Trauma – Disorganized – Memory Problems – Severe Stress – Disbelief © Stephen M. Thompson

UNDERSTANDING THE SURVIVOR Five Stages of Rape Trauma Uneasy (The Voice) – Recognize potential – Deny Impact – Helpless – Shock – Denial – Afraid – Powerless – Disbelief – Immobilized Acute – Disorganized – Memory problems – Extreme stress Cope – Guilt – Rapid mood swings – Self-destructive Restored – Acceptance – Transfer © Stephen M. Thompson

THE MOST ACTIVE SEXUAL PREDATOR IS THE “NICE GUY” © Stephen M. Thompson

FAMILIAR PROFILE “NICE GUY” Who is he – up side. Athletic, body conscious. Outwardly confident. Attractive, good line of “bull”. Well liked by women. Leader of group or sub- group. Active social life. Who is he – down side. Egocentric, self serving. Socially immature. Does not feel guilt. Sees women as objects. Very manipulative. Brags about “scores”. Does not handle rejection or criticism well. © Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY” SEQUENCE Step One – Target Selection Social Setting Target Profile – Younger – “Just world” attitude – Flattered by attention – Incidental contact with “Nice Guy” – Questionable support – Alcohol © Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY” SEQUENCE Step Two – Approach/Evaluation Gets close Desensitizes to intrusion Flatters yet self- centered Pushes alcohol Possible dosing Subtle, inappropriate behavior © Stephen M. Thompson

DRUGS AS TOOLS FOR CONTROL Categories – Alcohol Most Frequent “Double Shots” – GHB Common symptoms. – “Benzo’s” “Roofies” Medicine Cabinet Cocktail – Hallucinogens © Stephen M. Thompson

Gender Difference with Alcohol After Consuming 5 drinks in 3 hours, we would see… A 120 lb female would have a BAL of 0.14 A 160 lb male would have a BAL of 0.07

GHB Stephen M. Thompson

Typical Drinks To Hide GHB Stephen M. Thompson

Analogs of GHB © Stephen M. Thompson

Stephen M. Thompson

MDMA Stephen M. Thompson “Euros”

“ROOFIES” Stephen M. Thompson

SALVIA Stephen M. Thompson

LSD Stephen M. Thompson

DRUGS AS TOOLS FOR CONTROL Categories – Alcohol Most Frequent “Double Shots” – GHB Common symptoms. – “Benzo’s” “Roofies” Medicine Cabinet Cocktail – Hallucinogens © Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY” SEQUENCE Step Three – Separation Separating statement Isolation vs. alone Continuation of gentlemanly “nice guy” Patience?? © Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY”SEQUENCE Step Four – Pushes for “Score” Target consents Mutual Ends – Typically states he will call soon. – Disconnects Target does not consent. Pressures – Yes ….Ends – No……Step Five Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY” SEQUENCE Step Five – Intimidation Ignores target or threatens with…….. Will escalate if meets resistance Step Six – Sexual Violation Takes what he wants No mutual ness © Stephen M. Thompson

“NICE GUY” SEQUENCE Step Seven – Termination Two-fold goal: – Does not want target to tell friends. – Does not want target to tell police Threats…….. © Stephen M. Thompson

COMPLETING THE “NICE GUY” SEQUENCE TARGET SELECTION APPROACH/EVALUATION SEPARATION INTIMIDATION ATTEMPT “SCORE” SEXUAL VIOLATION - Yes, “Date” ends TERMINATION - No! © Stephen M. Thompson

OTHER CHARACTERISTICS OF “NICE GUY” CRIME Target may return and/or see “Nice Guy” again. Consent is the preferred defense. Discredits target if secrecy fails. Has strong ability to rationalize and deny. Does not see this as rape. Believability because of……………… © Stephen M. Thompson

At a party, you see someone trying to get an obviously drunk woman to go to his place and have sex with him. She is way past buzzed! TRAIN OF THOUGHT – They are both adults. – Can she consent if drunk? – Does he have more status? – Will he listen? – Is this my responsibility? – What should I do? OPTIONS – Do nothing, its not my business. – Discuss/distract initiator. – Get others to discuss/distract.. – Inform and engage targets friends to not allow separation. – Spill drinks. – Call police.

© Stephen M. Thompson A female friend comes to you crying. She tells you that she was raped. You know the man! TRAIN OF THOUGHT – I know him, he’s a “nice guy”. – Is she lying? – Who do I have responsibility toward? – Why did she tell me? – What should I do? OPTIONS – Tell her I’m sorry, but it’s none of my business. – Ask her if she could be overreacting. – Get the man’s side of the story. – Kick his ass! – Believe her and ask what you can do to help.

HOW TO HELP A SURVIVOR She does not need more violence and aggression – SYE. Listen. Believe. Never ask a “why” question. Tend to their needs. Help them regain control. Realize your own limitations. Know and use your resources! © Stephen M. Thompson 2006

STALKING 1991 NY and CA first to enact all states. 12%-15% College Age Females. Factors – Repeated – Reasonable – Effect vs. Intent – Notice © Stephen M. Thompson

Behavior Continuum © Stephen M. Thompson Intimate Date Acquaintance Stranger

© Stephen M. Thompson BEHAVIOR PATTERN EXPECTATION ATTENTION ACCEPT REJECT LONG TERM OBSESS ABUSE MENACE LEAVE THREAT ENDS?

IF ACCEPT…. Long Term Partner Violence Cycle – “Courtship” – “Honeymoon” – Abuse Emotional Physical Sexual © Stephen M. Thompson

IF REJECT Types of Stalkers Discarded Resentful Incompetent Delusional © Stephen M. Thompson

DISCARDED Use SA as control tool to achieve restoration of power in the relationship. Two kinds of discarded who batters: “Pit Bull” – high need for attachment. Fulfills their identity. Can be most violent. Have nothing left. “Cobra” – Does not feel attached. History of illegal behavior. Tends to be dangerous at beginning of split, but gets over it and finds another relationship where he will abuse. Has history of multiple DV relationships. Most violent! © Stephen M. Thompson

IMPLICATIONS FOR INTERVENTION All cases should be considered high risk. Swift and firm judicial intervention. Dangerous to roommates and, if dating, boyfriend. Need safety planning BEFORE interviewing him. Triad is predictor of violence. If stalker has DV, SA, and stalking. Relocation of target is critical. Must contain Discarded, if can not, provide protection to target. Get information from other sources, (investigation) before interviewing him. He will escalate. © Stephen M. Thompson

RESENTFUL Upset by breakup and wants to retaliate. Stalks to frighten. Low likelihood of being a rapist. Believe themselves to be true victim. Implications for Intervention – Intervention with consequence generally stops him. © Stephen M. Thompson

INCOMPETENT Often starts with inappropriate sexual behavior. Narcissism – “Knew she wanted it.” CYBER interprets contact as an invitation. Implications for Intervention – Can be sanctioned if caught early. – Will repeat if there are no consequences. © Stephen M. Thompson

DELUSIONAL Desires an intimate relationship. Elaborate fantasy. Delusional, “true love”, can be very strong to the point they could convince law enforcement. Implications for Intervention – High risk signs are; increasing anger, hostility and communication of fantasies involving Sexual Assault. © Stephen M. Thompson

COMMON OFFENDER CHARACTERISTICS Obsessive/Compulsive Narcissistic Intelligent Anti-Social Manipulative Hyper jealous Major Attachment Disruption Almost impossible to reason with. © Stephen M. Thompson

TARGET IMPACT – Those stalked and raped often the most traumatized. – Heightened sense of fear and vigilance may be reality based and necessary for safety. – Further isolates from friends and family. – SA and Stalk survivor feels shame and isolation because of SA – they internalize. – They need help to express themselves and gain a support system. © Stephen M. Thompson

– Response becomes downward spiral. memory impairment substance abuse chronic PTSD physical symptoms of stress – nurses need to look for this because it is the one area targets will seek help. © Stephen M. Thompson

CYBER STALKING Power and control. Chat rooms, message boards, Contact eventually in person. © Stephen M. Thompson

Technologies Used to Stalk Phones Cameras Global Positioning Systems (GPS) Computers & IM Spyware Assistive technologies Social networking sites

Phone Technologies Cordless Phones Cell Phones Scanners VoIP Spy Phones GPS-equipped cell phones

Phone Technologies Cordless and cell phone conversations can be intercepted using scanners Know the risks with new phone technologies like VoIP Understand the features of cell phones – auto answer, hands free, car mode Spyphones take this listening ability one step further Virtually all cell phones are equipped with GPS

Anonymizers Phone Spoofing Text Spoofing Assistive technologies

Text Message Spoofing Send text messages anonymously – FakeMyText.com – AnonTxt.com – TextMeNow.net – TextForFree.net – TheAnonymous .com

IP Relaywww.ip-relay.com

Global Positioning Systems (GPS)

Cameras

COMPUTERS Information gained by subterfuge and illegal activity Information about ourselves we put out there

Spyware & Computer Monitoring Software program or hardware component that helps an unauthorized third party gather information about the user’s computer use without user’s knowledge or consent. Can control computer operations including freezing, shutting down, and restarting the computer. Newer versions can also make the computer talk!

Spyware & Computer Monitoring Can be encoded in an message, game, or Web site Very hard to detect! Symptoms: often none, they typically run in stealth mode so user never knows it’s installed.

Keystroke Logging Hardware

CYBER HARASSMENT Purpose is to irritate and disrupt target. Emotional with possible financial harm to target is critical. JuicyCampus.com © Stephen M. Thompson

CYBER HARASSERS WRECK HAVOC BY….. 1.Send hateful, obscene, or threatening messages. 2.Abuse directly through the chat room. 3.Post statements, start rumors, etc., on message boards. 4.Set up a web page with personal and/or fictitious information about you. 5.Assume your identity. © Stephen M. Thompson

WHAT CAN BE DONE? Give no personal information that can be traced back. Learn how to use filters. Close old accounts. Save all communications to hard copy and document. Contact the police. © Stephen M. Thompson

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE (DV) Generally this crime can be defined as: a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic control, that individual’s use against their intimate partners. If a partner, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend humiliates, insults, or swears at you, you are experiencing abuse. If they attempt to control your activities, threaten you, assault you, attempt to isolate you from your friends and family or tries to destroy your self confidence and self esteem you are experiencing abuse. © Stephen M. Thompson

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE

Honeymoon Tension Violence Courtship

HoneymoonTension Violence

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL Putting your partner down and making them feel bad about themselves. Mind games or making partner feel crazy. Telling “secrets” to others Ignoring or “silent treatment” POWER AND CONTROL IN DATING

VERBAL ABUSE Name calling Criticizing Publicly humiliating Put downs Embarrassments

DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY Destroying personal effects (pictures, letters, clothing, gifts, etc.) Ruining belongings Defacing or causing damage to partner’s home or auto

THREATS, ANGER AND INTIMIDATION Using looks, actions, expressions or a loud voice to intimidate partner Smashing or throwing objects Threatening to leave partner or abandoning them in a dangerous place Threatening physical harm

JEALOUSY, ISOLATION, POSSESSIVNESS AND RESTRICTION OF FREEDOM Using jealousy as a sign of love instead of insecurity Controlling what partner does, whom partner sees/talks to, or where partner goes Refusing to let partner work or join activities/dropping by unexpectedly to “watch” activities Accusations of cheating on partner

ABUSE OF “PRIVELEDGE” Making all the decisions Going out with their friends, but not allowing partner that freedom Walking out on an argument and leaving partner Doing all the telephoning and expecting partner to be there

SEXUAL ABUSE Unwanted or uncomfortable touching Continued sexual advances after being told “no” Forced sex “Playful” use of force during sex Treating partner like sex object

PHYSICAL ABUSE Any attempt to hurt or scare partner physically Hitting Biting Hair pulling Grabbing Pushing Shoving Tripping Kicking Etc.

What does a healthy relationship consist of?

HONESTY & RESPONSIBILITY Not making excuses for your or your partner’s actions Admitting when you’re wrong Keeping your word Not cancelling plans EQUALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

OPEN COMMUNICATION Being able to express your feelings or opinions Knowing it’s OK to disagree Saying what you mean and meaning what you say

INTIMACY Respecting your partner’s boundaries Respecting each other’s privacy Not pressuring your partner Being faithful

PHYSICAL AFFECTION Holding hands Hugging Kissing Sitting or standing with arm’s around partner Respectfully touching Respecting partner’s right to say NO Asking before acting

FAIRNESS AND NEGOTIATION Accepting change Being willing to compromise Working to find solutions acceptable to both partners Agreeing to disagree sometimes

SHARED RESPONSIBILITY Making decisions together Sharing or alternating costs on dates Doing things for each other Going places you both enjoy Giving as much as you receive

RESPECT Paying attention to partner – even when friends are around Valuing your partner’s opinion Listening to what your partner has to say

TRUST & SUPPORT Being supportive Knowing your partner likes you Wanting the best for your partner Offering encouragement Being OK with your partner having different friends

Signs to Look For Your partner is resentful or jealous of time spent with friends and family? Your partner thinks their feelings are more important than yours? Your partner has threatened physical harm? There is reluctance to end the relationship due to fear of what the partner will do? You did things that you didn’t want to keep your partner from getting upset? Your partner disrespects your feelings, by frequently insulting you or making fun of you? Your partner is critical of your appearance, behavior, ideas, and attitudes? © Stephen M. Thompson

Advise to Friends/Family DO: Let them know that you have noticed things – be specific. Express concern for them and tell them it is not their fault. Let them talk, listen and support them without pressure. Check into resources for them. Be there for them, and above all else, BE PATIENT! DO NOT: Wait for them to come to you. Ask “why” questions; because they then feel judged. Pressure them to make decisions. Place conditions on your support such as; “if you don’t do leave him, I’m done trying to talk with you.” Take action against their will. © Stephen M. Thompson

Advise to Survivor Trust your instincts! Tell someone you trust what is happening. Realize the abuse is unlikely to stop. Make a plan – where and how… Keep evidence. Use resources. © Stephen M. Thompson

HARASSMENT HARASSMENT: FORM OF DISCRIMINATION PROHIBITED BY TITLE VII OF CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF TITLE IX OF EDUCATION AMENDMENTS OF DEFINITION: Unwanted behavior in work or educational setting that could and actually does adversely affect a person or persons. © Stephen M. Thompson

Types of Harassment Quid Pro Quo Hostile/Offensive Environment Sexual Favoritism © Stephen M. Thompson

Examples of Harassment Visual - suggestive or obscene looks, leering, gesturing, displaying suggestive objects or pictures, cartoons, posters or magazines. Verbal - suggestive or obscene comments, jokes, rumors, sexual propositions, comments about the victim's body, pressures for dates. Written - suggestive or obscene letters, notes, invitations, drawings, , computer networks, letters asking for dates. Physical – blocking way, restraining, some touching. © Stephen M. Thompson

Factors Repeated or pervasive Reasonable Effect vs. Intent Avoidable Notice © Stephen M. Thompson

Response to Harassment Personal Avoid Defuse Ask to stop. Tell to stop with consequences. Legal Internal External © Stephen M. Thompson

Men’s Role In SA Prevention Check Yourself View Sexual Aggression As A Men’s Issue. – Talk with other men about it – Do not be a inactive bystander – Educate Yourself Question Your Attitudes about Sex, Power, and Women Never Assume, Clarify! Be An Ally, Work With Women Check The Scene Stop participating in group behaviors that are Degrading, Violent towards women – No Zebras! Encourage more men to do the same Behavior of one reflects on us all.

COMMON STRATEGIES OF AVOIDANCE © Stephen M. Thompson

First, and still, women are/were advised to First, and still, women are/were advised to Submit Submit

© Stephen M. Thompson Ploys and Bluffs

The most popular Confrontation © Stephen M. Thompson

Confrontation Noise Distance – generally predator shuts off the sound. False assumption will attract help. Weapons Is it always with you. Do you know how to use it. Does it work when used. Are you willing to use it. Martial Arts/Practical Street Techniques © Stephen M. Thompson

PHYSICAL RESISTANCE MUST OVERIDE PAIN MASKING AND COMPLETELY INCAPACITATE © Stephen M. Thompson

PAIN MASKING Definition: Bodies natural ability to mask/supress pain. Usually occurs as a response to stressors or stimulation. – Adrenalin – Opiate Peptides – Pain Gate Closure – Focus © Stephen M. Thompson

Four “C’s” Concern Confidence Control Complete Incapacitation © Stephen M. Thompson

1st ‘C’ - CONCERN Acknowledge that it is possible you could be assaulted. Look at the times in your life when you are vulnerable. When are you in any of the targeting scenarios where you are alone? Can you reduce those times? © Stephen M. Thompson

TARGETING SCENARIOS – Residence/Hotel/Workplace – Vehicle – On the Street – Familiar (date/acquaintance) © Stephen M. Thompson

2nd ‘C’ - CONFIDENCE When you are in scenarios where you are alone, create the aura of self assured. This can be done through body language. Assertively confront behavior that makes you uncomfortable. © Stephen M. Thompson

3rd ‘C’ - CONTROL Attempt to control the space between you and the male. If he can’t get into the attack zone, he can not assault you! In the case of a familiar male, control the environment until you are very comfortable with him, and he has proven he is worthy of your trust. © Stephen M. Thompson

TRANSITION Reasoning Verbal Aggression Physical Aggression © Stephen M. Thompson

4th ‘ C’ - Complete Incapacitation Techniques must disrupt the central nervous system. Keeping it simple reduces the chance of error and maximizes focus. © Stephen M. Thompson

Steve Thompson Sexual Aggression Services Director Central Michigan University Phone: © Stephen M. Thompson