Choosing the Best Life

lesson one Choosing the Best Life 8 For the next 8 lessons we will be studying Choosing the Best Life , a course to help teens make the best choices about sexual behavior. 750,000 teens get pregnant each year 25% of sexually active Grads have a STD

“Sex, Emotions and self-respect” lesson one Choosing the Best Life “Sex, Emotions and self-respect” The first lesson deals with sex, emotions and self-respect Turn to page 6 We will discuss the questions on page 6 after watching Video Segment One: “Males vs. Females” <6>

Video Segment 1 “Guys vs. Girls” lesson one lesson one Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 1 “Guys vs. Girls”

Guys: sex is physical, driven by hormones & peer pressure lesson one “Males vs. Females” How do guys and girls view sex differently? Guys: sex is physical, driven by hormones & peer pressure Girls: sex is an emotional experience, involving strong feelings <6>

lesson one lesson one “Males vs. Females” 2. Guys: What would you like girls to know to better understand about guys? <6>

lesson one lesson one Choosing the Best Life “Males vs. Females” 3. Girls What would you like guys to know to better understand about girls? <6>

> Guys & Girls Can View Sex Differently lesson one > Guys & Girls Can View Sex Differently Guys 1. Does not = personal relationship 2. Expect sex to happen sooner 3. Love & Commitment 4. Not Serious 5. Turned on/Curious/impress friends 6. Partner pressure 7. Less pleasure and satisfaction Guys Girls Guys Guys Girls Girls <7>

Guys & Girls are different lesson one Guys & Girls are different 3 Ways Sex is Misused to Meet Emotional Needs 1. Acceptance 2. Man 3. Valued Why? Disappointment <7>

Guys & Girls are different View Sex Guys can focus more easily on the physical side of sex w/out relationship Girls tend to have a broader view of sex, emphasizing the total relationship Sex Hormones How does testosterone affect guys? How are girls affected by estrogen? Stimulation Sight? Guys can just see something sexual and be aroused. Words, personality, touch? Girls are stimulated by the whole event. BRAIN ACTIVITY 1 side @ a time Both sides together <7 supplemental >

Guys & Girls Can View Sex lesson one Guys & Girls Can View Sex BRAIN ACTIVITY What does each side of the brain do? LEFT PORTION RIGHT PORTION the Logical Side the creative side Deals with concrete thinking and reasoning Deals with feelings and emotions <7 supplemental >

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 1. Worry 2. Regret & Guilt 3. Impairs Personal Development 4. Fear of Future Relationships 5. Lowers Self-esteem 6. Depression <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 1. Worry Fear: pregnancy getting an STD or AIDS parents finding out Nervousness loss of sleep poor grades possible long-term health problems <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 2. Regret & Guilt Relating sex to love and feeling loss when relationship ends Regret about not reaching personal goals Guilt about going against personal values Being disappointed in self’ regret about hurting others Medical problems such as ulcers Eating disorders <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 3. Impairs Personal Development May turn inward Fail to develop healthy interests and relationships Fail to develop a personal, independent identity Experience feelings of betrayal that can lead to rage Can use sex to escape pressures or to avoid Learning how to communicate in a healthy way with opposite sex <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 4. Fear of Future Relationships Difficulty trusting Inability to make a commitment to someone Withdrawal from close relationships pattern of use and abuse in relationships Fear of being used or betrayed again Have not learned healthy communication Jealousy <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 5. Lowers Self-esteem May feel used or damaged, unhappy or lacking dignity May have sex again to feel control May seek attention or turn to destructive behavior May feel dehumanized or worthless Weak or powerless if partner is selfish or controlling <8>

Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement lesson one Six Emotional Effects of Premarital Sexual Involvement Why? Effect? 6. Depression May lead to attempted or successful suicide Girls sexually active = 6x more likely to attempt suicide than virgins Boys= 8x Feels like a failure Feels deeper pain because already sees events in an emotional way <8>

Character Application lesson one Character Application SEX & Self-Respect Heart Activity What parts of the story did you respond to by tearing large parts of your heart? Are there any differences in the piles of torn pieces on the boys’ vs girls’ desks? <9>

Character Application SEX & Self-Respect Character Application Heart Activity Is it possible for Kendra to restore her life? If Kendra respected herself, would she have given herself to Antonio without his commitment to her? What is this commitment called? Waiting for sex is called? Consequences of abstinence? <9>

Character Application SEX & Self-Respect Character Application Character is who you are on the inside. It’s how you act and think when no one else is around. One part of healthy character development is self-respect. Respect for yourself begins with the idea that you are valuable and worthy. We’ve seen how sexual relationships before marriage often lower self-respect in both people. The emotional pain can cause a downward spiral of feelings. Personal Application: <10>

Character Application SEX & Self-Respect Character Application Discussion Questions: PAGE 10 Answer all questions on this page Personal Application: <10>

Sex, alcohol and respect lesson two Sex, alcohol and respect View video and then we will discuss: “sex and alcohol don’t mix” Take notes on page 12 Choosing the Best Life <11>

Video Segment 2 “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 2 “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix”

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” What effect does alcohol have on a young person? Increased risk of sexual activity Date rape Contracting STDs Pregnancy <12>

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” 2. Why do you think some teens drink alcohol? Peer pressure Like the calming feeling Feel less inhibited and less anxious <12>

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” 3. What are some of the risks of “hooking up” under the influence of alcohol? Become less inhibited Become less assertive in maintaining boundaries Can lose consciousness Can be unaware of partner’s actions <12>

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” Did she get pregnant? Did either of them contract an STD? What were the consequences for them? Activity: One Guy and One Girl <12>

What do you know about “Date Rape? lesson two What do you know about “Date Rape? Force Shame Guilt Sadness Guy – school suspension Girl – felt loss of respect Drugs Date Rape Rape Alone 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. True True True False False True True False True True <13>

Character Application lesson two SEX & Self-Respect Character Application Read the first paragraph on page 16 and then Sarah’s Story DATE RAPE: Rape occurs when one person forces another to have sexual relations Incidence of rape in U.S. peaks among women age 16-19. 700,000 rapes per year, 61% under age 18. 84% of those who reported unwanted sexual intercourse knew their assailant. Rape victims should seek immediate medical attention and contact a rape crisis center/hotline. The victim is NEVER to blame for rape. Rape is not about sex, but about control. <13>

Character Application lesson two SEX & Self-Respect Character Application 7. Date rape drugs can facilitate sexual assault by causing sedation and amnesia to the point that the victim cannot or may not resist or remember. Mixing drugs and alcohol is dangerous and potentially fatal. 8. Date rape drugs are easy to hide – colorless and odorless, but somewhat salty tasting. Can be hidden in a drink. Never leave your drink unattended! 9. Rape is a CRIME and punishable by IMPRISONMENT. 10. Never be alone with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or fails to show you respect. <13>

> How Alcohol effects a young Person lesson two > How Alcohol effects a young Person Brain Memory Death Inhibitions Unconsciousness Sex Five Alcohol 50 to 75 percent unplanned <14>

The Physical Effects of Alcohol Abuse lesson two The Physical Effects of Alcohol Abuse Activity: Bat Brain: learning Mental: coordination Heart: Attack Digestive Tract: cancer Immune System: infections ulcers Stomach: Liver: cancer Reproductive System: Impotence, irregular <15>

Character Application lesson two SEX & Self-Respect Character Application Read and listen to the story on page16 Then answer the discussion questions. Personal Application: <16>

lesson three Sex, STDs and honesty STDs are unique because they are contracted through at risk sexual behaviors. Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <17>

Video Segment 3 “A Visit to a Microbiology Lab” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 3 “A Visit to a Microbiology Lab”

“A Visit to a Microbiology Lab” lesson three “A Visit to a Microbiology Lab” How can you tell if a person has an STD? You can’t! 2. Why are most teens not concerned about contracting an STD? They think they’re invincible. 3. Most common STDs? Chlamydia Gonorrhea Syphilis Human papillomavirus (HPV) Genital herpes <18>

“Chlamydia” Read introductory paragraphs Slide 1 and 2 lesson three Read introductory paragraphs Slide 1 and 2 The Silent Disease Bacterial,1.5 million no oral Cured PID; infertility 3 to 10 <19>

“Gonorrhea” Read introductory paragraph Slide 3 and 4 lesson three Read introductory paragraph Slide 3 and 4 One of the Oldest STDs 650,000 no Oral PID 50 HIV <20>

“Syphilis” Read introductory paragraph Slide 5-8 bacterial direct oral lesson three “Syphilis” Read introductory paragraph Slide 5-8 bacterial direct oral sore cured death <21>

lesson three “Trichomoniasis” parasite no cured <21>

“Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)” lesson three Read introductory paragraph Slide 9-10 The Most Common Viral STD Viral; 50%;43% Genital; cancer No; life HPV; die Pap oral <22>

Read introductory paragraph Slide 11-13 More Than 45 Million Infected “Genital Herpes” lesson three Read introductory paragraph Slide 11-13 More Than 45 Million Infected Viral; 45 90% life Blisters Skin to skin Visual; not <23>

4 million; 10,959 daily; 457 hourly; 8 seconds No; multiple; cervix lesson three STDs Are Wide Spread 25 15.3 million; 65 million 4 million; 10,959 daily; 457 hourly; 8 seconds No; multiple; cervix <24>

lesson three Here’s How they Spread ACTIVITY 3 6 1 8 2 <24>

What about ”safe Sex” Condom Every Correctly Not Half How well do condoms work for birth control? Break; 15% Reduce STD risk ? 85%; 15% Fluids; 50% Skin to skin HPV No Abstinence <25>

Is ‘Safe sex really safe? lesson three What about ”safe Sex” Is ‘Safe sex really safe? What is the only way to ELIMINATE the risk of pregnancy or of contracting an STD? <25>

What does abstinence involve? lesson three What about ”safe Sex” What does abstinence involve? Making an informed decision to not participate in risk-taking behaviors that can lead to pregnancy or an STD <25>

What are at-risk behaviors? lesson three What about ”safe Sex” What are at-risk behaviors? Vaginal sex Anal sex Oral sex Mutual masturbation which can pass infected body fluids through skin-to-skin contact <25>

Character Application lesson three Character Application Sex and Honesty Read two paragraphs on page 26 And answer the 2 questions Personal Application: Answer <26>

Sex, pregnancy and responsibility lesson four Sex, pregnancy and responsibility Video “Nicole and Raoul” Turn to page 28. read these as we start the video. Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <28>

Video Segment 4 “Nicole and Raoul” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 4 “Nicole and Raoul”

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson four “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” How did getting pregnant affect Nicole’s life? Scared during pregnancy Thought he would help Teenage years of freedom gone <28>

2. How did getting pregnant affect Raoul’s life? lesson four “Nicole and Raoul” 2. How did getting pregnant affect Raoul’s life? Hard to get a job & make $ Relationship changed Did not know the amount of attention a baby needed. < 28 >

3. What happen to their relationship after the baby? lesson four “Nicole and Raoul” 3. What happen to their relationship after the baby? Less time together Strain Could not do things together the way they once did. < 28 >

Teen pregnancy is a significant problem. lesson four Teen pregnancy is a significant problem. highest 750,000; 10; 19 20 <29>

Who Suffers the Consequences?. lesson four Who Suffers the Consequences?. 1/3 health poverty low <29>

Reducing the Risk of Teen Pregnancy lesson four Reducing the Risk of Teen Pregnancy Read Chart page 30 Activity: 7 volunteers Activity: Cards <30>

Consequences of Choices lesson four Consequences of Choices Teen Parenting Adoption Abortion Medical Complications Physical guilt shame later regret sadness Sadness, Emotional Regret Parenting Social income <31> responsibility

Sex and Responsibility lesson four Sex and Responsibility Read paragraph Answer discussion questions <32>

Sex, HIV/AIDS and compassion lesson five Sex, HIV/AIDS and compassion Turn to page 34. Read the question before we start video Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <33>

Video Segment 5 “A Life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic ” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 5 “A Life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic ”

“A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” lesson five “A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” What did you learn from Lisa? Just hold off? infected while engaged, almost died many times, medicine not a cure, she will eventually die <34>

“A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” lesson five “A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” 2. What did you learn from Dottie? acquired the disease at 16 from a boy she hardly knew and several years later developed AIDS Incubation ? As long as 10 years as short as months Fastest grow under 24 <34>

“A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” lesson five “A life-Changing Visit to an AIDS Clinic” 3. Do teen need to be concerned about contracting HIV/AIDS? YES <34>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 1 Sexual Initial Infection <35>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 2 not Initial Symptoms <35>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 3 many Asymptomatic Stage <35>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 4 immune Early AIDS Symptoms <36>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 5 Opportunity AIDS <36>

What Happens If You contract HIV? lesson five What Happens If You contract HIV? stage Effect 6 NO Treatment <36>

lesson five Activity: Cups <36>

<37> Ten Common Myths About HIV/AIDS lesson five NO. Medication can prolong life but with severe side affects Does not always know Cannot tell by how a person looks You can become infected from only one sexual encounter Can from oral sex Do not live health normal lives not spread by casual contact Affects BOTH…25% under 22 Cannot Practice Abstinence Ten Common Myths About HIV/AIDS <37>

READ page 38 and answer questions lesson five Compassion READ page 38 and answer questions <38>

Sex, love and choices Turn to page 40. lesson six Sex, love and choices Turn to page 40. Read the question before we start video Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <39>

Video Segment 6 “Choosing Abstinence” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 6 “Choosing Abstinence”

Choosing Abstinence to be in control of their own lives lesson six Choosing Abstinence Why are these teens choosing abstinence? to be in control of their own lives to set priorities to stay focused on future goals because its not safe <40>

Choosing Abstinence Wasn’t worth it, Emotional consequences, lesson six Choosing Abstinence 2. Why become ”secondary virgins”? Wasn’t worth it, Emotional consequences, Physical consequences, Focus education and personal goals <40>

Choosing Abstinence Show respect lesson six Choosing Abstinence 3. How does abstinence help a relationship develop? Show respect Focus on inner qualities not just physical Better see compatibility and character issues <40>

Activity: Groups of 4-5 Decisions about Sex Page 41 Brainstorm lesson six Decisions about Sex Activity: Groups of 4-5 Page 41 Brainstorm Each team work together and fill in both list. (in all work books) <41>

Choosing the Best Life A. not To: <42> B. FROM: lesson six Choosing the Best Life A. not vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex , mutual masturbation and intimate skin-to-skin contact B. FROM: Abstinence Provides Freedom fear of pregnancy, HIV, STDs, worry, guilt, depression To: Pursue life goals, be free from worry or guilt, establish, a marriage built on trust, enjoy life as a teen <42>

Choosing the Best Life C. Renewed Virginity <42> Renewed People lesson six Choosing the Best Life C. Renewed Virginity Renewed People share accountable <42>

Infatuation or Love relationship lesson six Infatuation or Love relationship Infatuation Love 1. I Focus 1. other 2. very 2. levels Feelings 3. short 3. long Time together 4. problems 4. through Tested 5. my 5. other Commitment <43>

Abstinence Helps Relationships Develop lesson six Abstinence Helps Relationships Develop READ STORY of TOM and KRISTINE 1. Intense with strong emotions NO. 2. Physical focus and keep them from getting to know one another 3. Help them BUILD the relationship over time <43>

Infatuation or Love relationship lesson six Infatuation or Love relationship Infatuation Love 1. Emotional 1. Commitment 2. Untested 2. Tested 3. feelings 3. Level out 4. Hormone 4. Knowledge 5. Weakens 5. Strengthens 6. Self 6. Caring 7. Jealous 7. Open <42>

Sex, limits and self-discipline lesson seven Sex, limits and self-discipline Turn to page 46. Read the question before we start video Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <45>

Video Segment 7 “Dealing with Pressure” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 7 “Dealing with Pressure”

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson four “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” How did getting pregnant affect Nicole’s life? Scared during pregnancy Thought he would help Teenage years of freedom gone <28>

Sex, saying “no” and courage lesson eight Sex, saying “no” and courage Video “ Taking a Stand” Turn to page 52. read these as we start the video. Watch the video and make notes. Choosing the Best Life <51>

Video Segment 8 “Taking a Stand” Choosing the Best Life DVD Video Segment 8 “Taking a Stand”

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson four “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” How did getting pregnant affect Nicole’s life? Scared during pregnancy Thought he would help Teenage years of freedom gone <28>

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” Tape activity Unused a lot of Bonding Power. 1. Is this first relationship likely to last? 2. What happened to the bonding tape each time it was used? 3. What happens to two pieces of tape (two people in a relationship) that have never been used when they bond for the first time? Ten Stages of Bonding <12 supplemental >

“Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” lesson two “Sex and Alcohol Don’t Mix” Tape activity Unused a lot of Bonding Power. 1. Is this first relationship likely to last? 2. What happened to the bonding tape each time it was used? 3. What happens to two pieces of tape (two people in a relationship) that have never been used when they bond for the first time? Ten Stages of Bonding <12 supplemental >

Stages of Emotional Bonding 1. Eye to Body contact 2. Voice to voice 3. Eye to eye 4. Hand to hand 5. Kiss- affection 6. Kiss- Passion 7. Hand to Head 8. Hand to breast contact 9. Hand to genital contact 10. Intercourse lesson two <12 supplemental >