Dating Violence

All Forms of Abuse are Harmful  Abuse is the physical, mental, emotional, or sexual mistreatment of another.

Indicators that a Dating Relationship May Be Abusive 1. Tries to pressure the other into sexual activity 2. Tries to make the relationship serious or exclusive right away. 3. Acts jealous or possessive 4. Tries to control the other’s behavior 5. Yells, swears, emotionally attacks the other 6. Threatens the other with physical violence

Forms of Abuse  Physical-intentionally bodily harm or injury to another person.  Emotional-attacking another’s persons sense of worth.  Verbal: using words to mistreat or injure another person.

Forms of Abuse  Sexual-sexual contact that is forced upon someone against their own will.  Stalking-repeatedly following, harassing, or threatening an individual.

Protecting Yourself From Abusive Relationships 1. Hang out with others who share your values and treat you with respect. 2. Know your own limits with regard to sexual activity and communicate those limits clearly to anyone you date. 3. Avoid drugs and alcohol 4. Know the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

Date Rape  When one person in a dating relationship forces the other person to take part in sexual intercourse.

Acquaintance rape  The attacker is someone the victim know casually or considers a friend.

Physical, Emotional, Social Damages from rape  Physical: scratches, bruises, chronic pain, headaches, or stomach problems. At risk for STDs and pregnancy.  Social: distrust in others, anxiety, withdrawal from friends  Emotional: depression, guilt, post traumatic stress

Most common mistakes made:  A teenage girl voluntarily agreeing to go to the house, apartment, or car of a young man she has known for less than 24 hours.  The impairment of the victim by drugs or alcohol.

Date Rape Drugs There are at least three date rape drugs.  GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)  Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)  Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

Date Rape Drugs Because of the effect of these drugs, victims may be physically helpless, unable to refuse sex, and cannot remember what happened. The drugs often have no color, smell, or taste. They are easily added to flavored drinks without the victim’s knowledge.

What do the drugs look like?  GHB – liquid with no odor or color, white powder, and pill.  Rohypnol – pill that dissolves in liquids (new ones turn blue in liquid)  Ketamine – white powder

What effects do these drugs have on the body?  They can affect you quickly.  The length of time that the effects last varies depending on how much of the drug is taken.  Alcohol can worsen the drug’s effects.

Is alcohol a date rape drug?  Alcohol is a drug that can put a person at risk for unwanted or risky sexual activity.  When a person is drinking alcohol:  It is harder to think clearly and evaluate a potentially dangerous situation.  It’s harder to resist sexual or physical assault.  Drinking too much alcohol can also cause black-outs and memory loss. If a victim of sexual assault drank alcohol, they are not at fault for being assaulted.

Safety Tips If you are going on a date find out as much as you can about the person. If you don’t know your date very well, consider double-dating. Know the dating plans and tell someone. Don’t hesitate to be assertive when you say NO. Be aware that alcohol decreases your ability to react and impairs your judgment. If attending a party, do not leave with a guy you don’t know very well. Avoid out-of-the way places or secluded areas. Listen to your instincts!

How can I protect myself from being a victim?  Don’t’ accept drinks from other people.  Open containers yourself.  Keep your drink with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom.  Don’t share drinks.  Don’t drink from punch bowls, etc.  Don’t drink anything that tastes funny. (GHB may taste salty)  Have a friend that can “watch your back.”

If you think that you have been raped:  Go to the police station or hospital right away.  Get a urine test asap. The drugs leave your system quickly. Rohypnol: 72 hours GHB: 12 hours  Don’t urinate before getting help.  Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting help. You may disturb evidence.  Call a crisis center or hotline to talk to a counselor. National Sexual Assault Hotline: HOPE

Help for Survivors  Seek professional help  Counselors can offer one-on-one sessions or support groups  Talk with parents, trusted adults, rape crisis centers,