SLB /24/07 Thinking and Communicating Understanding Effective Communication “Speaking the Truth in Love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15

3/25/07SLB-0552 Dialogue di·a·logue or di·a·log n A formal discussion or negotiation, especially between opposing sides in a political or international context Talk of any kind between two or more people (formal) vi to take part in a conversation, discussion, or negotiation Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

3/25/07SLB-0553 Think 1 Cor 14:20 (2) Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

3/25/07SLB-0554 Think Definition | Concise Oxford English Dictionary think v. (past and past part. thought) 1 have a particular opinion, belief, or idea about someone or something.

3/25/07SLB-0555 Think Definition | Concise Oxford English Dictionary think 2 use one’s mind actively to form connected ideas about someone or something. † have a particular mental attitude.

3/25/07SLB-0556 Think Definition | Concise Oxford English Dictionary think † (think of/about) take into account or consideration. † (think of/about) consider the possibility or advantages of. † (think of) call to mind. 3 (think of) have a specified opinion of.

3/25/07SLB-0557 Think Rom 12:3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

3/25/07SLB-0558 Think Phil 3:15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.

3/25/07SLB-0559 Know 2 Pet 3:17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Thinking - thinking refers to the process of creating a structured series of connective transactions between items of perceived information.

3/25/07SLB Thinking skills are relatively specific cognitive operations that can be considered the "building blocks" of thinking.

3/25/07SLB Evaluating Skills Information Gathering Skills Focusing Skills Generating Skills Integrating Skills Evaluating Skills Remembering Skills Analyzing Skills Organizing Skills Event Perception Appraisal Representation VI Metacognition

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: KNOWING HOW TO THINK, and knowing which strategies work best, are valuable skills that differentiate expert thinkers from novice thinkers. Metacognition, or awareness of the process of thinking, is a critical ingredient to successful communication.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition - a dimension of thinking that involves knowledge and control of self and knowledge and control of the thinking process. Metacognition refers to awareness and control of one's thinking, including: –commitment, –attitudes and –attention.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Commitment: an aspect of knowledge and control of self that involves a decision to employ personal energy and resources to control a situation. Attention: conscious control of mental focus on particular information.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Executive control: evaluating, planning, and regulating the declarative, procedural, and conditional information involved in a task.

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication Metacognition: Executive Control: Declarative information: factual information. Conditional information: information about the appropriate use of an action or process important to a task. Procedural information: information about the various actions or processes important to a task.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills METACOGNITION consists of three basic elements: Developing a plan of action in advance Maintaining/monitoring the plan in progress Evaluating the plan at conclusion

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Before - When you are developing the plan of action, ask yourself: What in my doctrinal database will help me with this particular task? What do I want to happen? What do I NOT want to happen?

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: During - When you are maintaining/monitoring the plan of action, ask yourself: How am I doing? Am I on the right track? How should I proceed? Am I feeling emotions that could derail my plan? Is the other person displaying emotion-led behavior?

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: During: Is the conversation heading off track to side issues? Am I moving towards what I want, or what I do not want?

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: After - When you are evaluating the plan of action ask yourself: How well did I do? Did my particular course of thinking produce more or less than I had expected? What could I have done differently? How might I better plan to reopen this conversation?

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Metacognition is an important concept in cognitive theory. It consists of two basic processes occurring simultaneously: monitoring your progress as you learn, and making changes and adapting your strategies if you perceive you are not doing so well. (Winn, W. & Snyder, D., 1998)

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Metacognitive Spiritual Communication skills include taking conscious control of planning and selecting goals and strategies for the conversation, monitoring the progress during the conversation, correcting errors, analyzing the adherence to Doctrinal and Spiritual Orientation, and applying Reckoning and Resisting when necessary.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Metacognition refers to higher order thinking that involves active control over the thinking processes. Activities such as planning how to approach a given task, monitoring, and evaluating progress toward the completion of a task are metacognitive in nature.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Most definitions of metacognition include both knowledge and strategy components. Knowledge is considered to be metacognitive if it is actively used in a strategic manner to ensure that a goal is met. Metacognition is often referred to as "thinking about thinking" and can be used to help students “learn how to learn.”

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognition: Cognitive strategies are used to help achieve a particular goal while metacognitive strategies are used to ensure that the goal has been reached. Our metacognition strategy is, first, “to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And 2nd - And you must love your neighbor as yourself.”" (Luke 10:27, ISV) This defines our Spiritual Metacognition.

3/25/07SLB Core Thinking Skills Metacognitive strategies are sequential processes that one uses to control cognitive activities, and to ensure that a cognitive goal (e.g., “Speaking the Truth in Love”) has been met. These processes help to regulate and oversee every thought process, and consist of planning and monitoring cognitive activities, as well as checking the outcomes of those activities. Metacognition requires Confidence, Humility and Skills.

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication "For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self- control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness," (2 Peter 1:4-6, NASB95)

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication Psalm 139:4 (NASB95) Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all. "and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now." (1 Corinthians 4:12-13, NASB95)

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication "If any one think himself to be religious, not bridling his tongue, but deceiving his heart, this man’s religion is vain." (James 1:26, DARBY) "He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles." (Proverbs 21:23, NASB95)

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14, NASB95) "So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another." (Romans 14:19, NASB95)

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication “We all make mistakes, but those who control their tongue can also control themselves in every other way.” Jas 3:2 (NLT) “Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not to put them down, not cut them out.” Col. 4:6 (Message)

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication “‘Crucial’ conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home, that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument? Day-to-day conversations and interactions affect your life. Crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future.”

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication “Underneath these topics run the same main point - think twice before speaking. Care and thought are needed to make a crucial conversation work.”

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication “When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle them poorly and suffer the consequences; or handle them well … and discover how to communicate when it matters the most.”

3/25/07SLB Understanding Effective Communication “If you normally handle tense situations by running the other way, screaming or slamming the door, this book will help you develop constructive habits that will leave you feeling better about yourself. With the skills, you learn in this book, you'll never have to agonize about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.”

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 1.At times I avoid situations that might bring me into contact with people I’m having problems with. 2.I have put off returning phone calls or because I simply didn’t want to deal with the person who sent them. 3.Sometimes when people bring up a touchy or awkward issue, I try to change the subject. 4.When it comes to dealing with awkward or stressful subjects, sometimes I hold back rather than give my full and candid opinion.

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 5.Rather than tell people exactly what I think, sometimes I rely on jokes, sarcasm, or snide remarks to let them know I’m frustrated. 6.When I’ve got something tough to bring up, sometimes I offer weak or insincere compliments to soften the blow. 7. In order to get my point across, some times I exaggerate my side of the argument.

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 8.If I seem to be losing control over conversation, I might cut people off or change the subject in order to bring it back to where I think it should be. 9.When others make points that seems to stupid to me, I sometimes let them know what without holding back at all.

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 10.When I am stunned by a con man, sometimes I say things that others might take less forceful or attacking and – comments such as “give me a break!” Or “that’s ridiculous!” 11.Some times when things get heated, I move from arguing against others points to saying things that might hurt them personally

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 12.If I’d get into a heated discussion, I’ve been known to be tough on the other person. In fact, the person might feel a bit insulted or hurt. 13.When I am discussing an important topic with others, sometimes I move from trying to make my point to trying to win the battle.

3/25/07SLB My Style Under Stress 14.In the middle of a tough conversation, I often get so caught up in arguments that I don’t see how I’m coming across to others. 15.When talking gets tough and I do something hurt full, I am quick to apologize for mistakes. 16. When I think about a conversation that took a bad turn, I tend to focus first on what I did that was wrong rather than focus on others mistakes.