2. The Porcupine Dilemma The closer they get to each other, the more likely they are to get hurt. Relationship

3. How to Handle A N G E R

4. Psalm 133: 1 “Behold, How good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!”

5. Ephesians 4: 1-3 1.I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2.with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, 3.being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

6. All of us are responsible to maintain this unity: Matthew 18: 15-17 “If your brother sins … go and show him his fault in private…” Galatians 6: 1-5 “if anyone is caught in a trespass, you…restore such a one…” If our brother has sinned …

7. All of us are responsible to maintain this unity: Matthew 5: 23-24 “If you know that your brother has something against you … leave your offering … be reconciled … then …” Whether YOU have sinned or not …

8. Summary: Romans 12: 18 “As far as it depends on you, Be at peace with all men.”

9. Resolving Conflict Let’s Do It God’s Way!

10. 7 based on Ephesians 4: 25-32 (adapted from Strike the Original Match, by Chuck Swindoll) Rules for a Clean Fight

11. 1.Make a commitment to Honesty and Truth (Eph. 4: 25) “Speak _______________ to one another... for we are _______________ of one another.” This is a 2 way pursuit (1) (2) Our goal must be for deeper ______________________ NOT to _______________ the argument, or else _____________________________ ! Don’t get ____________________ ! Try to understand where _____________ are coming from. truth members Seek the truth Speak the truth deeper understanding WIN we BOTH lose defensive each other

12. 2.Deal with it A.S.A.P. (But, … Before you begin, you must Both agree that the time is right!) (Eph. 4: 26-27) “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, and do not ________________________________!” Deal with it A.S.A.P. ! If not now... then decide _____________________________________ And make it SOON. give the devil an opportunity When will it be a good time? Then schedule it!

13. 3. Make sure your weapons are not deadly! Eph. 4: 26 “Be angry, yet ________________” do not sin James 3: 5-8 “the tongue is full of _____________________...” Deadly poison REMEMBER: WORDS CAN KILL!!!!! John 1: 14 Jesus was full of “_____________ and ___________” grace truth

14. 4. Don’t raise your voice or lose self control. Ephesians 4: 29 Only say what is ___________________ … according to the need of the moment! good for edification Proverbs 15: 1 “A soft answer ___________________.” turns away wrath

15. 4. Don’t raise your voice or lose self control. You can still say what needs to be said, but speak gently, with kindness and grace, (i.e. “___________”) tact Colossians 4: 6 “Let your speech always be with grace, as though ____________________ …” seasoned with salt

16. 5.Never reveal private matters in public! Ephesians 4: 31 “Let all bitterness, wrath,... and slander be put _____________…” Dont’ go around trying to get your friends to take sides with you. (that’s called “___________”) away from you gossip

17. 6.Respect each other’s limits. The Principle: Ephesians 4: 32 “Be kind to one another, _________________, …” tender-hearted

18. 6. Respect each other’s limits. Example: Agree to STOP when someone says, “STOP!” Ephesians 4: 29 “only words that are good for ________________________.” building each other up

19. 6. Respect each other’s limits. Excellent & challenging verses: −E−Ephesians 4: 2 - 3 −P−Philippians 2: 3 - 4 −C−Colossians 3: 12 - 14

20. 7.Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. Ephesians 4: 32 “…forgive each other … JUST AS _______________________________!” God in Christ has forgiven you

21. 7. Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. How has God forgiven us? Psalm 103: 11 – 12 “As far as the EAST is from the WEST, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” FullyFinally Freely Forever

22. 7. Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. forgive forgive, forgive And don’t bring the issue up again, UNTIL … You BOTH agree that you need to discuss it again! 70 X 7

23. Personal Application: Looking back at the last time you were angry or had to resolve a conflict with someone... Which of the 7 rules did you find it most difficult to practice? (choose 1 or 2) What specific things can you do to better practice that rule?