Protecting Your Family in the Internet Age 6/30/13

Agenda Gatekeepers Threats facing our kids Addressing those threats Table exercise What about us?

Why me? Information junkie Technology professional Experience in the trenches Remember life before the internet Less aware of the latest threats than you are

Gatekeepers Duty to protect, act like men – 1 Cor. 16:13 Spiritual battle requires spiritual tools – Eph. 6:12-15 Duty not to be mastered by technology – 1 Cor. 6:12 Spirit-filled power for self-control – Gal 5:22 Call to remove temptations where possible – Matt. 18:7-9

What are the threats? Affluent lifestyle of limitless devices and toys Pornography exposure Limitless networks of other users and their content Stalkers/pedophiles/identity theft Cyber bullying Organizations/companies pushing limits & opposing access/content restrictions

Why are the threats worse today? Tendencies of generation iY (Elmore via Ibsen) – Values tend to be relativistic – Technology & devices essentially an appendage – Highly tolerant of others – Generally narcissistic (all about me and what’s in it for me) – Strong sense of entitlement – Expects to be entertained at all times – Highly impatient with others and not really interested in what the other thinks or feels – low EQ – Shameless: “Every thought or emotion I have is worthy of being broadcast, including sexting”

What are the impacts on our kids? Gen iY tendencies reinforced & exploited Potential physical threats Increasingly risky online behavior Guilt & shame, downward spiral, esp. for porn Isolation & depression Stimulus addiction (Boers 103 & 104) Increase in narcissistic behaviors Rudeness and incivility

Where are they found? Websites Phone apps TV (esp. as tied to internet)

How are they accessed? Via any connected device iAnything PCs Smart phones + any phone with web access Video console games (Wii, Xbox) eReaders (Kindle, Nook, iPad) MP3 players

Facebook Still popular, but waning with kids Easy to access inappropriate content Many games accessed via FB are inappropriate

Twitter Replacing FB with kids Popular because most parents aren’t there Tend to share more personal details about themselves Issue: most accounts are public

Instagram Social networking service for sharing photos & videos By default, anyone can view uploaded photos Critical to use privacy settings and monitor usage Growing usage by predators Many teens post seeking “likes,” but can also draw ugly comments/bullying

Tumblr Social networking site Little to no content filtering or oversight More content than FB, so more time spent on site

Snapchat Users send videos, photos, text, etc. to a list of contacts Photos are deleted from recipient’s device after ~ 10 seconds Tends to promote taking inappropriate videos and photos

Kik Free IM app for all phones Users can send text messages and photos to other Kik users and do group chats New contacts added via FB, Twitter, etc. No parental controls, privacy at risk Tip: advise kids not to share Kik username on public social networks and forums

What are our defenses? Prayer Delay entry/exposure Prevent usage in isolated areas Filters, monitoring software Parental settings on devices, incl. purchases Usage rules, home and away Alignment with friends’ parents Have a policy on user IDs & passwords

Offensive (relational) weapons Open, ongoing communication with kids Train them to find identity in Christ Teach them discernment Play games and watch movies with them Discuss and review a temptation strategy Provide alternatives to media Get involved in what they’re interested in Stay informed about new technology Create an account in the social media your kids use and follow them

Table Exercise Which threat is most daunting to you, and what have you done about it?

What about us? What are we modeling? Worshipping at the altar of convenience Do we own the devices, or do they own us? (Boers 19) Distractedness vs. focus 24x7x365 access to work--& work to us

What do we need to change? No “multitasking” – be all there No media at meals Offline after 8:00 p.m. Consider removing the phone apps that distract you most Take technology fasts or Sabbaths Turn off some phone alerts Tether the phone when you get home Model and teach polite behavior

Resources - Tim Elmore site – many useful articles, run by Mary Kay Hoal – maker of SafeEyes parental control software service for monitoring kids’ social network activity Boer, Arthur. Living Into Focus: Choosing What Matters in an Age of Distractions.