Spiritual Intimacy Enhancing the Soul Connection

Spirituality Is Part of the Vertical Aspect of Strong Blessed Marriage Horizontal: Friends & Lovers Friendship Passion Vertical: Partners in Purpose Commitment Purpose Purpose Friendship Commitment Marital Love Passion Adapted from Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love

Love for a Higher Purpose Deepens Closeness Loving the same purpose Fortifies respect and sense of security Sharing faith can be like sharing parents

Religious Practices Strengthen Marriage and Family Life Best results come from discussing and practicing spiritual beliefs at home 1. Promotes moral behavior and forgiveness 2. Provides a family-oriented social network 3. Brings a sense of meaning and purpose to life, which increases resilience to stress 4. Helps children to perform better at school 5. Boosts personal happiness, mental and physical health, long life and achieving goals

Benefits of Religion for Couples More beneficial than a shared faith: Shared sense of higher meaning to their marriage What they do together to act upon their faith

Spiritual Closeness Is a Common Challenge in Marriage 1. Many couples struggle to find a shared way To relate to God and spiritually grow together 2. Conflict of styles is common One favored path to God may be opposite of spouse’s Easy to judge the mate’s way as inferior

How Is Praying Together Beneficial? How Might It Be Challenging?

Praying Together Is Beneficial & Challenging Benefits Invites God to intervene in our marriage Strengthens our sense of shared purpose and ideals Helps us gain God’s view of our marriage Softens our heart and exposes it to our mate Challenges Can be hard to be so vulnerable, especially when there are tensions Differences of prayer styles Hard to make time Hoon Dok Hae is similar

There Are Many Different Spiritual Types Adapted from Myra Perrine, God Languages

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness I

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness II

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness III

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness IV

Making Spiritual Harmony 1. Find one or more spiritual paths that can be shared as a couple One of the partner’s ways or a third way 2. Focus on common values and ideals God Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Justice or True Love 3. Shared service is powerful

Faith Differences or Personal Faith Struggles Come Up at Times Life events can highlight faith Death and crisis Church changes Children 1. Faith becomes especially important 2. Or it can be challenged Bring out personal weaknesses and marital differences

What to Do If Your Spouse Struggles in their Faith? This can be threatening

Consider How Your Spouse Might Feel Imagine you are the more religious one in your couple. Now imagine your spouse has suddenly become twice as religious as you are. You are now the “unspiritual” one, holding them and children back from knowing and serving God more, the “selfish” one who is never good enough. How do you feel?

When One Spouse Struggles in Faith Faith fluctuates over time 1. Faith needs to be reexamined at times so it can mature Need freedom to doubt and struggle 2. Try to honor your mate’s legitimate effort to keep their integrity God will work through a genuine search for truth Modeling God’s acceptance and faith in them is a testimony to your faith “Whether you are destined for heaven or hell is not determined by your doctrines and perspectives… but by your daily life.” Father

Important Blessed Family Traditions 1. Sanctifying the First Night Like 3-day Ceremony 2. Sanctifying births of children Prayer support at birth with 3 people and birth candle Grateful offering at 8 days 3. Family Worship and study Learning God’s Word (HDH) Family Pledge Sunday Service Tithing 4. Living with God & True Parents Prominent photos, Prayer place 5. Sanctifying birthdays Parents’ Blessing 6. Celebrating Holy Days Pledge and offerings 7. Preparing children for Matching

Traditions Prioritizing Family Meals together Couple date nights Holiday celebration Games and family activities Vacation activities

Deepen Spiritual Oneness 1. Commit to growing in personal spiritual maturity Keep adjusting to each other as you grow 2. Commit to nourish the spiritual basis of your marriage Maintain regular traditions 3. Commit to greater service to God and the world

Tool: Sharing Spiritual Paths 1. Consider these spiritual paths 2. Mark your favorites 3. Guess your mate’s favorites 4. Mark which ones you might share Study Pray Mentor others Be mentored Celebrate Tithe Make music Care for nature Worship Observe traditions Be in small groups Fast Serve greater causes Assist spirit world Meditation Fight injustice Be creative Share intimacy Care for others