1. Spiritual Intimacy
Enhancing the Soul Connection 1

2. Adapted from Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love
Vision for a Strong Blessed Marriage
John R. Williams
Spirituality Is Part of the Vertical Aspect of Strong Blessed Marriage
Horizontal:
Friends & Lovers
Friendship
Passion
Vertical:
Partners in Purpose
Commitment
Purpose
Purpose
Marital Love
Friendship
Passion
Friendship: Emotional
Passion: Physical
Commitment: Volitional
Purpose: Spiritual
Commitment
Adapted from Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love
BlessedHarmony.com 2

3. Sharing faith can be like sharing parents
Love for a Higher Purpose Deepens Closeness
Loving the same purpose
Fortifies respect and sense of security
Sharing faith can be like sharing parents
Shared faith can be like sharing parents 3

4. Religious Practices Strengthen Marriage and Family Life
Best results come from discussing and practicing spiritual beliefs at home
1. Promotes moral behavior and forgiveness
2. Provides a family-oriented social network
3. Brings a sense of meaning and purpose to life, which increases resilience to stress 
4. Helps children to perform better at school
5. Boosts personal happiness, mental and physical health, long life and achieving goals

5. Benefits of Religion for Couples
More beneficial than a shared faith:
Shared sense of higher meaning to their marriage
What they do together to act upon their faith 5

6. Spiritual Closeness Is a Common Challenge in Marriage
1. Many couples struggle to find a shared way
To relate to God and spiritually grow together
2. Conflict of styles is common
One favored path to God may be opposite of spouse’s
Easy to judge the mate’s way as inferior 6

7. How Is Praying Together Beneficial? How Might It Be Challenging?

8. Praying Together Is Beneficial & Challenging
Benefits
Challenges
Invites God to intervene in our marriage
Strengthens our sense of shared purpose and ideals
Helps us gain God’s view of our marriage
Softens our heart and exposes it to our mate
Can be hard to be so vulnerable, especially when there are tensions
Differences of prayer styles
Hard to make time
Hoon Dok Hae is similar

9. There Are Many Different Spiritual Types
1. Caregiver
Healing, helping, guiding
2. Activist
Conscience, confronting wrongs
3. Ascetic
Solitude, self denial and simplicity
4. Contemplative
Reflection though writing, song and art
5. Enthusiast
Active worship with others
6. Intellectual
Knowledge, study
7. Naturalist
Natural world
8. Sensor
Beauty, creativity, arts
9. Traditionalist
Rituals, beliefs, symbols
Adapted from Myra Perrine, God Languages 9

10. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness I
Study and compose spiritual literature and sermons
Pray privately; pray with others
Mentor others and nurture their growth
Be mentored by an elder; submit to guidance
Celebrate life’s joys and blessings 10

11. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness II
6. Tithe; live simply
7. Sing, make and enjoy spiritual music
8. Care for, study and enjoy the natural world; live ecologically
9. Engage in worship and spiritual education with others
10. Observe traditions, rituals, and sacred spaces 11

12. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness III
11. Participate in small groups to grow and support each other
12. Fast, practice purity and other self disciplines
13. Serve God, community, country or other greater causes
14. Assist those in spirit world
15.Spend time in solitude and meditation 12

13. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness IV
Fight injustice; help victims
Admire and make art and other creative expressions
Share intimacy with loved ones; make love with spouse
Care for family; help neighbors 13

14. Making Spiritual Harmony
1. Find one or more spiritual paths that can be shared as a couple
One of the partner’s ways or a third way
2. Focus on common values and ideals
God
Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Justice or True Love
3. Shared service is powerful

15. Faith Differences or Personal Faith Struggles Come Up at Times
Life events can highlight faith
Death and crisis
Church changes
Children
1. Faith becomes especially important
2. Or it can be challenged
Bring out personal weaknesses and marital differences 15

16. What to Do If Your Spouse Struggles in their Faith?
This can be threatening

17. Consider How Your Spouse Might Feel
Imagine you are the more religious one in your couple.
Now imagine your spouse has suddenly become twice as religious as you are. You are now the “unspiritual” one, holding them and children back from knowing and serving God more, the “selfish” one who is never good enough. How do you feel?

18. When One Spouse Struggles in Faith
Faith fluctuates over time
1. Faith needs to be reexamined at times so it can mature
Need freedom to doubt and struggle
2. Try to honor your mate’s legitimate effort to keep their integrity
God will work through a genuine search for truth
Modeling God’s acceptance and faith in them is a testimony to your faith
“Whether you are destined for heaven or hell is not determined by your doctrines and perspectives… but by your daily life.”
Father

19. Important Blessed Family Traditions
1. Sanctifying the First Night
Like 3-day Ceremony
2. Sanctifying births of children
Prayer support at birth with 3 people and birth candle
Grateful offering at 8 days
3. Family Worship and study
Learning God’s Word (HDH)
Family Pledge
Sunday Service
Tithing
4. Living with God & True Parents
Prominent photos,
Prayer place
5. Sanctifying birthdays
Parents’ Blessing
6. Celebrating Holy Days
Pledge and offerings
7. Preparing children for Matching

20. Traditions Prioritizing Family
Meals together
Couple date nights
Holiday celebration
Games and family activities
Vacation activities

21. Deepen Spiritual Oneness
1. Commit to growing in personal spiritual maturity
Keep adjusting to each other as you grow
2. Commit to nourish the spiritual basis of your marriage
Maintain regular traditions
3. Commit to greater service to God and the world 21

22. Tool: Sharing Spiritual Paths
Consider these spiritual paths
Mark your favorites
Guess your mate’s favorites
Mark which ones you might share
Study
Pray
Mentor others
Be mentored
Celebrate
Tithe
Make music
Care for nature
Worship
Observe traditions
Be in small groups
Fast
Serve greater causes
Assist spirit world
Meditation
Fight injustice
Be creative
Share intimacy
Care for others 22