Friendship, Love, and Intimacy

Intimacy Closeness between two individuals  Not the same thing as being intimate.  Is an emotional state, rather than a physical one

Four Key Features of Intimacy Hook (2003) Love and/or affection Personal validation Trust Self-disclosure How do we Express intimacy?

Friendship What is friendship? What qualities do you look for in a friend? Describe how intimacy, friendship, and love are related.

What is LOVE? How do you define love? Where/When/How have you experienced it? Binds us together A feeling and an activity

Love Pride and Prejudice Love Pride and Prejudice Infatuation The Notebook Infatuation The Notebook Trust Caring Honesty Friendship Respect Concern for other’s well-being Loyalty Commitment Acceptance of the other Supportive Wanting to be with other Interest in the other Develops rather rapidly Based on limited characteristics Based on the emotion itself Is self-centered Is multi-person centered Changes rapidly Loses touch with reality Largely outward or physical Insecure/Insecurities Jealous/Possessiveness how-to-determine-whether-you-love-him-idea.html Love vs. Infatuation

The Top 10 Love Myths 1. Love conquers all. 2. If it is true love, you'll know it the instant you meet that person. 3. There is only one true love in the world for you. 4. Your soul mate will fulfill you in every way. 5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry, it must be love. 6. A fun date, makes a great marriage partner. 7. A couple must be a mirror image of each other for a relationship to work. 8. Love means never having to say you're sorry. 9. Love is a bed of roses. 10. True love feels good always. Linda Lovejoy, MA, LMHC, Masters in Counseling, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Teleclass Leader, Columnist, Life and Relationship Coach

Primary styles Secondary styles Eros  (romantic/passionate) Ludus  (playful/game-playing) Storge  (companionate/friendship) Mania  (l+e= obsessive; love-hate) Agape  (e+s= altruistic) Pragma  (s+l= practical/pragmatic) Lee’s six styles of love

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Unrequited Love The Cyrano Style The Giselle Style The Don Quixote Style

Stalking Multiple Definitions US Bureau of Justice Statistics  About half (46%) of stalking victims experienced at least one unwanted contact per week, and 11% of victims said they had been stalked for 5 years or more.  Approximately 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as (83%) or instant messaging (35%).  Women were at greater risk than men for stalking victimization; however, women and men were equally likely to experience harassment.

The 2000 National College Women Sexual Victimization Survey found the following results:  13% of the college women had been stalked since the school year began  80.3% of victims knew or had seen their stalker before  42.4% of stalkers were ex-boyfriends of the victim.  In 15.3% of incidents, the victim reported that the stalker either threatened or attempted to harm them.  Overall, 83.1% of stalking incidents were NOT reported to police or campus law enforcement.  93.4% of victims confided in someone, most often a friend, that they were being stalked.

Types of Stalking Erotomania Simple obsessional stalking Love-obsessional stalking