Marriages and Families: Changes, Choices and Constraints Eighth Edition Nijole V. Benokraitis © 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Separation, Divorce, Remarriage, and Stepfamilies Chapter 15 Separation, Divorce, Remarriage, and Stepfamilies

Learning Objectives LO 15.1 Describe the phases and outcomes of separation LO 15.2 Describe the divorce process and explain why divorce rates have declined LO 15.3 Explain the micro- and macro-level reasons for divorce

Learning Objectives LO 15.4 Explain how and why divorce affects adults LO 15.5 Explain how and why divorce affects children LO 15.6 Describe the rate and process of remarriage, and explain how and why remarriages differ from first marriages

Learning Objectives LO 15.7 Describe and explain the diversity and complexity of stepfamilies LO 15.8 Describe and explain how stepfamilies differ from nuclear families

Separation: Process and Outcome The phases of separation Some outcomes of marital separation

The Phases of Separation Preseparation Early separation Midseparation Late separation Preseparation - The couple experiences gradual emotional alienation. Early separation - Besides feeling ambivalent about leaving a marriage, the couple is plagued by many questions, both important and trivial. Midseparation - The pressures of maintaining two households and meeting the children’s emotional and physical needs mount, and stress intensifies. Late separation - The partners must learn how to be singles again, such as now doing all the housework and home maintenance.

Some Outcomes of Marital Separation Separation and reconciliation Getting back together after a divorce Separation without divorce Separating but not making the divorce official Separation and divorce Separation that ends in divorce Not all separations end in divorce. Sometimes people reconcile and try to give their marriage a second chance. Divorce: The legal and formal dissolution of a marriage.

Question 1 Which of the following is an outcome of marital separation? Separation and reconciliation Separation without divorce Separation and divorce All of the above

Question 1 Which of the following is an outcome of marital separation? Separation and reconciliation Separation without divorce Separation and divorce All of the above

Question 2 Early separation is the first phase of separation. True False

Question 2 Early separation is the first phase of separation. True False

Divorce: Process and Rates The process of divorce Divorce rates

The Process of Divorce Emotional divorce Legal divorce Begins before people take any legal steps Emotional divorce Formal dissolution of a marriage Legal divorce Conflict over financial issues Economic divorce Agreements about responsibility of children Co-parental divorce Informing others about the divorce Community divorce Partners separate from each other emotionally and establish separate lives Psychic divorce Alimony: Monetary payments by one ex-spouse to the other after a divorce (sometimes called spousal maintenance). Child support: Monetary payments by the noncustodial parent to the custodial parent to help pay for child-rearing expenses.

Divorce Rates Divorce rates are lower today Same-sex divorce Postponing marriage Cohabiting Higher education Same-sex divorce Less in number Young couples more likely to divorce Marriages in the United States are lasting longer. In 2009 55 percent of couples had been married for at least 15 years 35 percent had reached their twenty- fifth anniversary 6 percent had been married 50 years or longer.

Figure 15.1 - Divorce in the United States, 1870 - 2011 Divorce rates climbed during the 1960s and 1970s, plateaued, and started dropping in 1995. Sources: Based on Plateris, 1973; U.S. Census Bureau, 2008, Table 77; and “National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends,” 2013.

Question 3 In which of the following steps partners separate from each other emotionally and establish separate lives? Psychic divorce Community divorce Legal divorce Emotional divorce

Question 3 In which of the following steps partners separate from each other emotionally and establish separate lives? Psychic divorce Community divorce Legal divorce Emotional divorce

Question 4 Divorce rates are much higher today than they were 30 years ago. True False

Question 4 Divorce rates are much higher today than they were 30 years ago. True False

Why do People Divorce? Macro-level reasons for divorce Demographic variables and divorce Micro-level reasons for divorce Demographic variables also help explain why some couples are prone to divorce.

Macro-Level Reasons for Divorce Divorce laws Economy Military service Cultural values and social integration Technology No-fault divorce: Neither partner has to establish the guilt or wrongdoing of the other. Social integration: The social bonds that people have with others and the community at large.

NPR: Military Combats High Divorce Rate The audio illustrates the impact of war on marriages http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4609495

Demographic Variables and Divorce Parental divorce Age at marriage Premarital childbearing Cohabitation Gender Race and ethnicity Social class Religion Age at marriage - Early marriage, especially before age 18 is one of the strongest predictors of divorce. Childbearing - Divorce is especially likely among adolescent parents, who lack the education or income to maintain a stable family life. Cohabitants tend to be more accepting of divorce, less committed to marriage, and have fewer skills in coping with marital problems. Gender - Women in unhappy marriages are more likely to get a divorce if they can support themselves. Race and ethnicity - In terms of population size and marriage rates, blacks are more likely to divorce than are people in any other racial-ethnic group. Asian women have the lowest divorce rates. Social class - Education is closely related to income, another predictor of the likelihood of divorce. Economic problems are more common, increasing the likelihood of stress, arguments, and divorce. Religion - Compared with their less religious counterparts, the risk of divorce is much lower among couples that are religiously homogamous.

Figure 15.3 - Divorce among Racial- Ethnic Groups First divorce rates per 1,000 women in first marriages age 18 and older, 2010 Source: Gibbs and Payne, 2011, Figure 2.

Micro-Level Reasons for Divorce Unrealistic expectations Pre-marital doubts Financial problems and disagreements Verbal, physical, or emotional abuse Extramarital affairs Communication problems Substance abuse Disagreements about how to raise and discipline children

Question 5 Which of the following is a macro-level reason for divorce? Substance Abuse Divorce Laws Race and Ethnicity Social Class

Question 5 Which of the following is a macro-level reason for divorce? Substance Abuse Divorce Laws Race and Ethnicity Social Class

Question 6 Social integration is the social bonds that people have with others and the community at large. True False

Question 6 Social integration is the social bonds that people have with others and the community at large. True False

How Divorce Affects Adults Physical, emotional, and psychological effects Economic effects Child custody Child support

The Difficulty of Divorce The content explores statistics on the affects of divorce http://www.socialexplorer.com/pearson/plink.aspx?dest=http%3a%2f%2fold.socialexplorer.com%2fpearson%2fspicemap.aspx%3fv%3d5429c2e0564544c2%26m%3dplay

Physical, Emotional, and Psychological Effects Divorce increases the chances of: Health problems Social isolation Stress Less social support Depression Physical well-being There’s a negative association between divorce and health Emotional and psychological well-being Effects on both parents and children.

Divorce and Adolescence The video exemplifies how divorce affects adolescents http://media.pearsoncmg.com/ph/hss/SSA_SHARED_MEDIA_1/sociology/videos/MFL/divorceadolescence.html

Economic Effects Economic setbacks include: Decrease in wealth Alimony More financial strain on women A major reason for women’s financial strain is that the custody of children.

Child Custody Court-mandated ruling regarding which divorced parent will have the primary responsibility for the children’s upbringing Types Sole custody Split custody Joint custody Sole custody: One parent is responsible for raising the child; the other parent has specified visitation rights. Split custody: The children are divided between the parents either by sex or the children’s choice. Joint custody: Children divide their time between their parents, who share decisions about the children’s upbringing.

NPR: Fathers Become Vocal on Parents' Rights The audio clip talks about parental rights and custody http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4635249

Child Support Paid to the spouse who gets custody of children Mostly women Most women who receive it have visitation arrangements with the father Top reasons for not seeking a legal award Having informal agreements Each parent providing what she or he could for support Believing that the noncustodial parent couldn’t afford to pay anything

Figure 15.4 - Percent of Custodial Parents Who Received Full Child-Support Payments, 2009 Source: Grall, 2011, Figure 5.

Question 7 _______ means that children divide their time between their parents, who share decisions about the children’s upbringing. Sole custody Split custody Joint custody None of the above

Question 7 _______ means that children divide their time between their parents, who share decisions about the children’s upbringing. Sole custody Split custody Joint custody None of the above

Question 8 Divorced men are twice as likely as recently divorced women to be in poverty. True False

Question 8 Divorced men are twice as likely as recently divorced women to be in poverty. True False

How Divorce Affects Children What hurts children before, during, and after divorce? What helps children before, during, and after divorce? Some positive outcomes of divorce for children and adults

What Hurts Children Before, During, and After Divorce? Difficulties faced by children from divorced families Lower academic achievement Behavioral problems Lower self-concept Long-term health problems Effects of divorce can be short or long term Parental problems before a divorce Internalizing problems e.g., feeling sad, lonely Externalizing problems e.g., being impulsive, quick- tempered Poor social skills Ongoing parental conflict and hostility Parental attitudes during and after the divorce Quality of parenting Children’s adjustment to divorce depends on the quality of parenting after the marriage ends Economic hardship Higher for black women Interrelated and cumulative effects of divorce Decreased well-being Loss of stable environment, emotional and economic security, and ready access to both parents Likelihood of ending their own marriage

What Helps Children Before, During, and After Divorce? Reassuring the children Encouraging open communication Emphasizing that children are not responsible for the problems Maintaining an ongoing relationship with the children Difficulties that children and adults who go through a divorce experience can be reduced if co-parents are civil and cooperative and work together to improve their children’s well-being.

Some Positive Outcomes of Divorce for Children and Adults Decreased stress More time with nonresident parent Adults End of a high-conflict marriage Benefits for women Enjoying their new- found freedom Developing their own self-identity Not having to answer to a domineering husband Benefits for men Spending more money on themselves or their hobbies Being better off financially Having more leisure time Dating numerous people

Question 9 _______ can lessen the negative effects of divorce in many ways. Teachers Siblings Peers Parents

Question 9 _______ can lessen the negative effects of divorce in many ways. Teachers Siblings Peers Parents

Question 10 Children who grow up in a divorced family are up to twice as likely to end their own marriages. True False

Question 10 Children who grow up in a divorced family are up to twice as likely to end their own marriages. True False

Remarriage: Rates, Process, and Characteristics How common is remarriage? Remarriage as a process Some characteristics of remarried couples Remarriage satisfaction Remarriage stability

How Common Is Remarriage? U.S. remarriage rate is the highest in the world Median time between a divorce and a second marriage is short Many have married thrice Remarriage has spawned a huge industry of services, magazines, and books Many Americans don’t plan to remarry, but remarriage is common. In 2009: People in a second marriage accounted for 12 percent of all married people. Those who were married three or more times accounted for another 3 percent.

Married More than Once? The content explores statistics on remarriages http://www.socialexplorer.com/pearson/plink.aspx?dest=http%3a%2f%2fold.socialexplorer.com%2fpearson%2fspicemap.aspx%3fv%3da23bc82c7b0d4a6d%26m%3dplay

Remarriage as a Process Emotional remarriage Psychic remarriage Community remarriage Parental remarriage Economic remarriage Legal remarriage Similar to the six stations of divorce. The stages of remarriage aren’t necessarily sequential, and not every couple goes through all of them or with the same intensity.

Some Characteristics of Remarried Couples Characteristics of remarried people depend on interrelated factors Age and gender Gender and race-ethnicity Social class First marriages and remarriages differ in many ways.

Figure 15.5 - Percentage of Americans Who Have Remarried, Age 35 and Older, by Sex Source: Based on Kreider and Ellis, 2011b: Table 6.

Figure 15.6 - How Often We Remarry, by Sex and Race/Ethnicity Note: These figures represent the percentage of Americans age 15 and older in 2009. Source: Based on data in U.S. Census Bureau, Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP), 2008 Panel, Wave 2 Topical Module, Table 1, 2011, http://www.census.gov/hhes/socdemo/marriage/data/sipp/2009/tables.html (accessed June 30, 2013).

Remarriage Satisfaction People in first marriages report greater satisfaction Differences are small Remarried mothers benefit psychologically from remarriage when: Couple have a stable relationship Children’s lives are going well Some researches suggest that remarried spouses are more likely to be critical, angry, and irritable. During the first few years of remarriage, stress could reflect the same poor communication and problem-solving skills that led to a previous divorce.

Remarriage Stability Divorce are rates higher for remarriages Getting married and divorcing at a young age Viewing divorce as a quick solution for marital dissatisfaction Intermarital birth More boundary maintenance issues 60 percent of remarriages, compared with 45 percent of first marriages, end in divorce.

Question 11 Lowest rate of remarriage is found in _______. Whites African Americans Latinos Asian Americans

Question 11 Lowest rate of remarriage is found in _______. Whites African Americans Latinos Asian Americans

Question 12 Remarriage stability is higher because people learn from their mistakes. True False

Question 12 Remarriage stability is higher because people learn from their mistakes. True False

The Diversity and Complexity of Stepfamilies What is a stepfamily? Types of stepfamilies Some demographic characteristics of stepfamilies How stepfamilies and nuclear families differ

Stepfamilies in the United States: A Reconsideration The content looks into the aspects of stepfamilies http://view.ebookplus.pearsoncmg.com/ebook/linktoebook5.do?platform=1027&bookid=15318&pageid=486

What Is a Stepfamily? Household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship marry or cohabit Parents can be heterosexual, gay, or lesbian Also known as Reconstituted family Binuclear family Blended family

Types of Stepfamilies Mother-stepfather family All the children are biological children of the mother and stepchildren of the father Mother-stepfather family All the children are biological children of the father and stepchildren of the mother Father-stepmother family At least one child is the biological child of both parents At least one child is the biological child of only one parent and the stepchild of the other parent, and no other type of child is present Joint stepfamily Stepsibling: Brothers or sisters who share a biological or adoptive parent and a stepparent. Half sibling: Brothers or sisters who share only one biological or adoptive parent.

Figure 15.7 - Stepfamily Networks Each set of parents of our target couple, Bill and Maria, are grandparents to at least two sets of children. For example, Maria’s parents are the grandparents of her children with her former husband Bob (Billy, Mario, and Linda) and of her child with Bill (Joy). Depending on the closeness of the relationship Bill maintains with his former wife, Althea, however, Maria’s parents might play a grandparental role to Peter and Julian as well as to Bill and Althea’s boys. Source: Based on Everett and Everett, 1994: p. 132.

Some Demographic Characteristics of Stepfamilies Stepfamilies have distinct demographic patterns that vary by: Age Race-ethnicity Social class These variations reflect changing attitudes and family structures. Young adults are much more likely than their older counterparts to have grown up in divorced families or with unmarried parents. Black marriage rates have dropped since the 1960s; and college graduates are likely to postpone marriage and have lower divorce rates.

Gay and Lesbian Stepfamilies Face similar problems as that of heterosexual families Stepparent roles in lesbian stepfamilies Co-parent family Stepmother family Co-mother family Triple stigmatization faced by lesbian and gay stepfamilies Denounced because many people view homosexuality as immoral Still seen as deficient compared with nuclear families because they don’t have adult role models of both sexes Couples may not get custody of children that were born during an opposite-sex marriage.

How Stepfamilies and Nuclear Families Differ Complex structure Must cope with unique tasks Experience more stress and conflict Family integration takes years Relationships may end or spring up abruptly Continuous transitions and adjustments Stepfamilies may look like nuclear families because they’re composed of adults and children living in the same household. However, stepparenting is more difficult for a number of reasons that range from the structure of stepfamilies to the ambiguous roles of stepfamily members.

How Stepfamilies and Nuclear Families Differ Less cohesive Less flexibility in their everyday behavior Unrealistic expectations No shared family history Loyalty conflicts Ambiguity Stepfamilies may look like nuclear families because they’re composed of adults and children living in the same household. However, stepparenting is more difficult for a number of reasons that range from the structure of stepfamilies to the ambiguous roles of stepfamily members.

Question 13 Which of the following is a difference between stepfamilies and nuclear families? Nuclear families experience more stress and conflict Nuclear families go through transitions and adjustments Stepfamilies are more cohesive Stepfamily roles are often ambiguous

Question 13 Which of the following is a difference between stepfamilies and nuclear families? Nuclear families experience more stress and conflict Nuclear families go through transitions and adjustments Stepfamilies are more cohesive Stepfamily roles are often ambiguous

Question 14 In a mother-stepfather family, all the children are biological children of the mother and stepchildren of the father. True False

Question 14 In a mother-stepfather family, all the children are biological children of the mother and stepchildren of the father. True False

Living in a Stepfamily Parenting in stepfamilies Stepparent-stepchild relationships How stepfamilies affect children Some characteristics of successful stepfamilies

Transitions in Parental Repartnering After Divorce The text looks in the affects of divorce http://view.ebookplus.pearsoncmg.com/ebook/linktoebook5.do?platform=1027&bookid=15318&pageid=45

Parenting in Stepfamilies Issues faced by stepfamilies when merging two households Naming Sexual boundaries Legal issues Distributing economic resources Distributing emotional resources Naming Biological parents or children may feel threatened. Sexual boundaries Rarely any legal restrictions on sexual relations between stepfamily members. Legal issues Children from a previous marriage may be disinherited even though this wasn’t the parent’s intention. Distributing economic resources Children of remarried fathers typically are at a financial disadvantage if the children live with their custodial mother. Distributing emotional resources Resources such as time, space, and affection must also be distributed equitably so that all the family’s members are content with the new living arrangements.

Figure 15.8 - Percentage of Children Living in Stepfamilies Note: According to the most recent available data, in 1996, 21 percent of American Indian/Alaska Native children lived in stepfamilies. Source: Based on Kreider and Ellis, 2011a: Table 6.

Stepparent-Stepchild Relationships Important issues Gender roles Stepchild-stepparent relationship development Discipline and closeness Intergenerational relationships Stepparent–stepchild relationships vary considerably because stepfamilies are more diverse than biological families. Gender roles Relationships with stepchildren are often more difficult for stepmothers than stepfathers. Stepchild–stepparent relationship development Stepchildren are less likely to experience conflict if the stepparent raised them from infancy or early childhood, if the children liked the stepparent from the beginning. Discipline and closeness Especially between stepfathers and adolescent stepchildren, children generally dislike being disciplined by stepparents until they form strong bonds. Intergenerational relationships Ties across generations, especially with grandparents and step-grandparents, can be close and loving or disruptive and intrusive.

How Stepfamilies Affect Children Children in stepfamilies don’t fare as well as children in biological families Depends on the relationships among: Children Custodial and noncustodial parents Stepparents Theoretical explanations of the effects of stepfamilies on children Family stress theories - Living in a stepfamily creates numerous difficulties for children and other family members. Risk and resilience theories - Effects of remarriage on children involve both costs and benefits. Social capital theories - Children in stepfamily households have more problems than children in nuclear families because the stepparents often invest less time and energy in raising their children. Cumulative effects hypothesis - Children whose parents have had several partners over time display more internalizing and externalizing problems than children who lived with a parent who had remarried only once.

Some Characteristics of Successful Stepfamilies Developing realistic expectations Letting children mourn their losses Forging a strong couple relationship Stepparent takes on a disciplinary role gradually Developing new rituals Working out arrangements between the children’s households

Question 15 Which of the following is a characteristic of successful stepfamilies? Stepfamilies do not let children mourn their losses. Stepparent takes on a disciplinary role immediately. Stepfamilies forge a strong couple relationship. Stepfamilies follow old rituals of their families.

Question 15 Which of the following is a characteristic of successful stepfamilies? Stepfamilies do not let children mourn their losses. Stepparent takes on a disciplinary role immediately. Stepfamilies forge a strong couple relationship. Stepfamilies follow old rituals of their families.

Question 16 Family stress theories say that children in stepfamily households have more problems than children in nuclear families because the stepparents often invest less time and energy in raising their children. True False

Question 16 Family stress theories say that children in stepfamily households have more problems than children in nuclear families because the stepparents often invest less time and energy in raising their children. True False

Discussion Question Discuss the effects of divorce on children.