BULLYING IN SCHOOLS: WHAT YOUNG PEOPLE NEEDS TO KNOW Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

Things to Discuss 1 – What Every Young Person Needs to Know About Bullying 2 – What to Do if You are Being Bullied 3 – How to Help Prevent Bullying in Young School 4 – Questions and Answers Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

1 – What Every Young Person Needs to Know About Bullying What is Bullying?  We say that a student is being bullied when he or she is singled out in an unpleasant way by another student or group of students. The bullied student is picked on again and again, and it is difficult for him or her to defend himself or herself  It’s NOT bulling when people of about the same age and power have the occasional fight or quarrel  It is NOT bullying when a teacher acts on the school rules, or offers fair criticism of a student’s work The Different Types of Bullying  Verbal Bullying: name-calling, cruel teaching, slagging, threatening  Physical Bullying: hitting, kicking, hurting in some way  Gesture Bullying: threatening or offensive gestures  Extortion: taking money, possessions or equipment from somebody  Isolation: leaving someone out all of the time, sometimes by spreading rumours, lies or gossip in order to make others not like the bullied person  E-Bullying: nasty or text messages Can you think of any more? Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

2A – What to Do if You are Being Bullied (I) Taking to Adults About Being Bullied – Why it’s So Important, and How to Do it Nobody can help you unless you let them know By helping yourself, you are helping others too There’s nothing wrong in telling an adult that you or someone else has been bullied  People in this situation sometimes get called a ‘tell-tale’, or even worse names, but this is WRONG  If you tell a tale just to get someone into trouble, this is not a nice thing  If you tell someone you’ve been bullied, this is different. You are telling because you want the bullying to stop. If the bully ends up in trouble, this is because he or she was doing something very wrong in the first place  It can help to talk to a parent or guardian first – they will be able to find out from school how the school will handle it Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

2B – What to Do if You are Being Bullied (II) Remember, the Bully has the Problem, Not You  Bullied and their friends are very good at getting the people they bully to believe that there is ‘something the matter’ with them  Remember, people can be bullied ‘for’ a number of so-called ‘reasons’, which are really just excuses to behave in a nasty way  There is NO excuse or reason to bully someone! Don’t Fight Back Physically!  We are often told that we should stand up for ourselves and physically fight bullies, but this is WRONG  If we lose: We will be beaten up even worse  If we win (very unlikely) Either, the bully could pretend that he or she was the one who was picked on, and we will be in trouble with the school, or The bully will get his or her friends and relations to take revenge  If we get together a gang, or something like that: The bully gets together a bigger gang, so then we get an even bigger gang, then the bully gets an even bigger gang than that…and sooner or later, someone ends up in hospital / expelled / in trouble with the police Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

2C – What to Do if You are Being Bullied (III) How to Cope if You are Being Verbally Bullied  Remember, if you have been physically hurt, the school or police should deal with this, but you can do something yourself about verbal bullying  Remember, bullies want an upset reaction  If we can avoid giving an upset reaction, then we buy ourselves some time  Try one of four tactics: The silent treatment Use of humour Saying ‘thanks’ to everything Assertiveness – standing up for yourself in a non- aggressive way Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

3A – How to Help Prevent Bullying in Your School (I) Don’t Be a Bully Yourself!  There’s nothing going about bullying others – it is WRONG, and bullying is the actions of a COWARD  Don’t pick on others, or let your friends pick on others  Try to include people instead of leaving them out  Treat other people how you would like to be treated yourself Understanding How Other People Feel  Not everybody feels the same way you do about everything!  It’s hard to understand how others feel, but it is worth it  Think – how do people feel when they are being bullied? Respecting Other People For Who They Are  Think about what you have in common with a person instead of thinking about the differences  Don’t judge people, or listed to others who judge people  Don’t treat people badly because of their race, religion, sexuality or nationality Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

3B – How to Help Prevent Bullying in Your School (II) Dealing With Your Own Feelings  Many people bully others, or get in trouble in other ways, because they don’t control their anger  Questions to think about: What does anger feel like? How do we behave when we are anger? What things make each of us anger? Has anger got us into trouble before? What alternatives do we have to losing our temper? How can we calm ourselves down? Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

3C – How to Help Prevent Bulling in Your School (III) Other Things to Do in School  Always play fair in classes, sports, activities and out of school  Treat others how you’d like to be treated yourself  Ask your teachers if you can do some anti- bullying work, or have an ‘anti-bullying week’  Get involved in mediation/mentoring/prefecting where these things exist  Make a class charter Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004

THANKS FOR LISTENING! ANY QUESTIONS? Dealing with Bullying in Schools © SAGE, 2004