Lucy Faithfull Foundation Teresa Hughes Lucy Faithfull Foundation

Prevalence of child sexual abuse 20%-30% 10%-20% Trainer: You may want to hide this slide (if time short) but illustrates who is abused women v men Women Men 1:3 - 1:4 Women have been sexually abused as children the figures for men range between 1:5 - 1:6 2

Facts about Child Sexual Abuse 1 in 6 children have been sexually abused by the time they are 16 8 out of 10 children know their abusers The vast majority are not reported to the Police Ref: NSPCC Full-Stop campaign 2000 Trainer: take this slide slowly, parents need a moment for the information to sink in …. may use examples of a class of 30 children, including teacher and assistant – how many would be victims (rhetorical question) We hear so often about protecting a child from strangers ... “don’t talk to strangers .... “ “don’t take sweets from strangers ....” But as can be seen 80% of children know their abuser – i.e. it wasn’t a stranger. Trainer: Ask if audience can think of reasons as to why abuse is mostly not reported – repeat what is offered (if appropriate!) or question/clarify if unsure. Prompt an array of ideas and ensure all hear you repeat most relevant ones (especially those that relate to next slide!) 3

What is sexual abuse? Touching Non touching Trainer: Suggest you use this slide as a prompt for a bit of open discussion to clarify the range of abusive behaviours; or use next 2 slides instead. 4

Examples Non touching Showing pornography to a child Deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child Encouraging a child to watch sexual acts Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom Most people would think that touching a child would be child sexual abuse, But not touching can also constitute an offence - discuss the audience examples .. NOTE: sometimes audience need reassurance about their own ‘healthy’ behaviour – see notes below Reinforce with: Pornography – different types ….magazines on ‘top shelf’, DVD’s, films, late night TV programmes, photographs, images on computer etc. Also inappropriate to leave such material lying around for child to find Exposure – may be the ‘flasher in the park’ but could also be an adult within the household intentionally doing this for their own sexual pleasure. NOTE: not to discourage parents taking pictures of their child on beach etc. What is the intention or what is in the mind of the photographer?? Watching or hearing sexual acts NOTE: sometimes parents in bed at night have sex when child walks in – unless they encourage to stay – this is not abuse! Using bathroom – important word is “inappropriately”. Parents of young children need to accompany child or at least enter and check clean and dressed properly etc. This role/responsibility alters as child gets older. Is it okay for a Father or Mother to bathe with their 12/13 year old son/daughter? Almost invariably “no” – and it may be abusive. 5 5

Examples Touching Touching a child’s private parts for sexual pleasure Making a child touch someone else's private parts Having sex Putting objects or body parts, (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the child’s mouth, vagina or anus Trainer: Suggest just read these out. Audience often silent during this, could just say at the end something like… if you were aware of any this happening there would be no doubt that it is abuse. NEXT SLIDE – ask audience first if they can think of examples where child not touched but still abuse…. If slow to respond do not wait (they may be too embarrassed to reply) – but almost always will give e.g.s 6

Reasons for Not Reporting “didn’t want parents to find out” “it was nobody else’s business” “didn’t think it was serious or wrong” “didn’t want friends to find out” “didn’t want the authorities to find out” “was frightened” (24%) “didn’t think would be believed” (13%) “had been threatened by abuser” (7%) Hopefully this endorse what they have said. But may introduce additional ideas. Confirm they understand and can recognise these as good reasons. = NSPCC survey 2000 NEXT SLIDE is What is sexual abuse? With examples – explain this to audience first Child Maltreatment in the UK , NSPCC 2000 7

So …who are the abusers? Moving on now to who are abusers ----- Recap ….. Covered the figures 1:6 children etc …. Covered what actually is sexual abuse … now onto abusers 8

Who are the Abusers? Men Women Young People Children Family members Friends Professionals known to the child Use the bullet points for effect – most people and media agree men are abusers…. but now with recent news items we know that females do abuse …. Plymouth case (Little Ted’s Nursery) – Vanessa George and Angela Allen with Colin Blanchard (only met on Facebook). Vanessa George took indecent images of the children in her care at the nursery. Sometimes shocking to know that children &young people do abuse other C&YP (NSPCC / Barnardos / lots of other research) 9

Who are the Abusers? People we know People we care about People from all classes, cultures and backgrounds People may be any sexual orientation All types of people could be abusers …. They CAN be people we know … care about etc. Re Cultures – speaking to a Chinese man he said no child abuse in China, “Chinese men don’t have these thoughts” .. When challenged he said it was only in England – “English disease!”… challenged again that it happens in all communities but not reported – he said no AND there aren’t any homosexuals in China either – they are all put in prison and given hard labour! 10 10

Some signs to be aware of in adults Refuses a child privacy Insists on physical affection when not wanted Insists on time alone without interruptions Gives money/gifts that seem excessive Repeatedly walks in on children in the bathroom Singles out a particular child to be special Just some examples of possible concerning behaviours. It is a matter of these being observed and not ignored. If any arise, do discuss with a trusted adult or Stop it Now! Helpline. In the past, too many parents have ignored these kinds of things; so abuse has gone un-noticed. Better to check it out than regret it later. None of these signs is evidence of abuse, so need to use with care.

Grooming behaviours in adults

A tall order for a child or young person?

Reasons for Not Reporting “didn’t want parents to find out” “it was nobody else’s business” “didn’t think it was serious or wrong” “didn’t want friends to find out” “didn’t want the authorities to find out” “was frightened” (24%) “didn’t think would be believed” (13%) “had been threatened by abuser” (7%) Hopefully this endorse what they have said. But may introduce additional ideas. Confirm they understand and can recognise these as good reasons. = NSPCC survey 2000 NEXT SLIDE is What is sexual abuse? With examples – explain this to audience first Child Maltreatment in the UK , NSPCC 2000 14

What can the Hedgehogs programme bring?

Teach children to feel comfortable about asking questions and finding more information. Foster children’s deeper awareness of their bodies and emotions. Give children tools so that they can perceive and read potentially risky situations in relationship with others and to react usefully to these situations. Develop confidence and critical awareness in children so that they can trust appropriate adults, by asking for help and reporting their experiences.

How? Main themes: They are all individuals Self esteem Learn about their bodies ‘Touch’ self awareness of positive & negative & saying ‘no’ Recognising feeling uncomfortable & strategies for self protection Importance of trusted adults Being able to identify adults with whom they can ask for help Able to say ‘no’ Differences between a secret and a surprise

Example scenarios: Your doctor asks you to undress The park keeper urges you to go in their house A car stops and the driver asks you to go with him/her in a street he/she doesn’t know On the bus a man approaches and touches your bottom Your uncle always caresses your head Your mum and dad kiss you goodnight

www.parentsprotect.co.uk The Parents Protect website is an online information and resources site designed for parents and carers. It will help answer questions around child sexual abuse, give sources of help and features an online learning programme for all parents and carers. Here you will find details of how to create a family safety plan: the next slide details this.