BA 6 Global Revisions!

Handbook Readings 4a: “At this point, don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead, concentrate on your message and on whether you have expressed it clearly. Note any places where the meaning seems unclear.” “Look through your draft, paying attention to the way one idea flows into another. Note particularly the first sentence of each new paragraph, and ask yourself how it relates to the paragraph that came before. If you can’t immediately see the connection, you probably need to strengthen the transition (see 5e).”

Jotting Down Main Ideas “Another good way to check your organization is to number the paragraphs in the draft, and then read through each one, jotting down the main idea or topic. Do the main ideas clearly relate to the thesis and to each other? Can you identify any confusing leaps from point to point? Have you left out any important points? Does any part of your essay go off track?”

Revising based on feedback 4d has a great list of comments you may have received alongside some suggestions/links.

BA 6 Step by Step 1.write an initial paragraph in which you discuss the problems that you see in the current draft. 2.read the revised draft and write another paragraph in which you discuss : a) whether the problems that you saw in the first draft were addressed b) whether the revisions fixed other issues that you hadn’t noticed in the draft c) why the revisions are or are not an improvement over the first draft.

BA 6 (concluded) conclude your assignment with an explanation of additional revisions and how the revisions should be made. Your discussion should be words in length.

Criteria for BA 6 Focus: – Does the student thoroughly explore the quality of the drafts and demonstrate an understanding of why both drafts are being examined?

BA 6 Criteria (continued) Sources and Evidence: -In other words, does the student directly refer to specific parts of the texts (paragraphs and/or sentences) or specific ideas represented in the text Own Perspective – Students tend to shy away from making a direct critique of the drafts, or they default to praising or criticizing drafts in some generic way.

Please make three columns on your piece of paper. Editing Evidence Organization

Samples What needs to be revised? What needs to be left alone? Why?

Intro 1.1 In his article, “Why a Global Language?”, David Crystal informs his audience, which seems to be people of all different countries, of the reasoning behind a global language by incorporating concrete examples and common diction choices into a skillfully structured article, beginning with a description of what a global language is, how it achieves this status, and finally the reasons for having a global language, and the need to adopt one. The reason his article is effective is because it successfully unifies this complex idea and makes the article more understandable, allowing him the chance then to persuade his audience to adopt a global language with this technique. His reasoning is explained through his straight forward common sense and concise evidence, in order to prove his points effectively.

Intro 1.2 Why is the English language the most predominant language of modern times? The English language evolved from the Anglo-Saxons in England and southern Scotland, rising to one of the most dominant and powerful languages in the world. It is the official language of 53 countries. Today, some non- English countries are creating barriers with other countries because of their use of the English language. In his article “Why a Global Language?” David Crystal describes what a global language is, how it achieves this status, and finally why have a global language. David Crystal informs his audience, people of different countries, of the reasons for global language by incorporating concrete examples and common diction. He also uses a skillfully organized article in which he first informs the reader and then persuades them, and his readers then are able to understand the complex idea of a global language.

1.1 Body Paragaph Crystal uses other people and sources to justify certain topics making them appear more believable to the reader. He speaks of how the British think Americans have changed English by saying “Look at what the Americans have done to English” is a not uncommon comment found in the letter-columns of the British press” (Pg. 351, Para. 3). He uses the British press to further express how in English “everyone who has learned it has a share in it and has the right to use it in the way they want” (Pg. 351, Para. 3). Crystal gains more trust and credibility from the reader using this method. Exploiting a source such as the British Press let readers know that his article is indeed dependable and will have full confidence in what the writer is saying is true.

1.2 Body Paragraph A reader trusts what a writer has to say more when a scholarly figure’s statement or educated opinion is used in an article. Crystal uses this technique when he describes how the British blame Americans for changing English. “Look at what the Americans have done to English” is a not uncommon comment found in the letter-columns of the British press” (Pg. 351). He further uses the British press to express how in English “everyone who has learned it has a share in it and has the right to use it in the way they want” (Pg. 351). Crystal gains more trust from the reader using this method. Using a source such as the British Press let readers know that his article is indeed dependable. This also communicates that the reader will have full confidence in what the writer is saying is true.