1 Proven approaches for successful outcomes 3 -Steps to Becoming a LearningSuccess Coach every time & on purpose! TM

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3 Communication is like an umbrella that covers everything we do. Virginia Satir Needs-Based Communication The 3rd Essential Coaching Skill

4 …and everything we know.

5 At any given moment you have the choice to Respond or React What you choose determines the outcome of your interactions!

6 Im right! Are you feeling upset because you want more consideration at a time like this? I want my way! Youre wrong! I want to make a connection with this person. I want my way! Marshall Rosenberg

7 Responsive Interaction is 1) the result of intense emotions & conscious choice 2) a strategy for seeing, listening, speaking, thinking, & acting to meet the most needs possible for the most people (yourself & others) 3) focused inwardly Look & listen for needs Identify needs Strategize & take action to meet needs

8 Reactive Interaction is 1) usually the result of intense emotions 2) A strategy for seeing, listening, speaking, thinking, and acting, to meet ones own needs of the moment 3) Focused on the behavior of others Looks & listens for who is right or wrong Identifies who is to blame or praise Rewards & punishes

9 Responsive Interaction Recognizes that all human action is an attempt to meet a vital human need. All that any of us is ever doingevery minute of every day, year after yearis attempting to fulfill our needs. We dont leave any of our needs behind when we go to school or sit down to study.

10 Focusing on needs helps you: Get to the root of WHY people do what they do. Find POSITIVE ways to HELP the person & the situation. Practice consideration & respect & leave everyones dignity intact after every interaction.

11 Survival food & water & shelter Safety protection & security Needs include:

12 Belonging - love, affection, warmth, & understanding Power with others - respect, competency, & consideration Fun - play & entertainment Autonomy - choice, & self-determination 12

13 Everyone on the planet has the same needs. Video games are not a need. A Ferrari is not a need. A trip to Paris is not a need. These are all strategies to meet needs for entertainment, transportation, fun, relaxation, learning.

14 Defensiveness Aggressiveness Depression Anxiousness Upset Irritation, ETC. or we think they are not likely to be met, our natural response is:

15 Seriously affects & Often prevents Environments that instill/support fear leave people bitter, crushed, bruised, battered, desolate, despondent, dejected, feeling inferior, depressed, …unfit for work. W. Edwards Deming

16 State-Specific Learning You may be teaching much more than you realize or intended. The emotional state you & your students are in when you teach & they learn is imprinted in the learner along with the information being learned. When children retrieve the information the stored emotions automatically return.

17 The Learning Zones Thinking, reasoning, & learning take place in the frontal lobes of the brain the learning zones. Under conditions of anxiety, fear & emotional stress, the learning zones automatically shut down.

18 What Shuts Down the Learning Zones? Criticism, blame, & negative judgments Accusations, threats, & labeling Lectures, arguments, rewards & punishment

19 Why/How Do the Learning Zones Shut Down ? The learning zones shut down because the brain associates the emotion of fear with danger. When we perceive danger the brain automatically shuts down unnecessary functions & prepares us to fight, flee, or freeze. In this downshifted state, learning is very difficult, so students resort to protecting themselves. It is estimated that 30% of the nations children come to school in a downshifted state.

20 To Keep the Learning Zones Open & in Business Defuse your hot buttons Reframe your judgments Celebrate participation as well as products & performance Practice Responsive Interaction Use the Essential Coaching Skills

21 Learning Environments that instill FEAR & DISTRUST put students at risk for Learning Failure!

22 Fear results in conflict of many kinds Resistance Disagreements Arguments Tiffs Spats Fights Wars

23 Responsive Interaction Focuses on NEEDS, drives out fear, minimizes conflict & maximizes LEARNING!! No one can put in his/her best performance unless s/he feels secure. W. Edwards Deming

24 Is a Choice to Engage Fear-Based Thinking & the action we take from there Puts LearningSuccess at risk!

25 Is a Choice to Engage Needs-Based Thinking & the action we take from there Contributes to LearningSuccess !

26 Proven approaches for successful outcomes 3 -Steps to Becoming a LearningSuccess Coach every time & on purpose! TM