Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life On Course Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life Chapter 5 EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE

CHOICES OF SUCCESSFUL STUDENTS EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE

REVIEW: SELF-MANAGEMENT QUADRANTS In which quadrant would you place the following activities? Spending three hours writing a major paper due at 8 a.m. the next day. Spending one hour a day on an assignment due in two weeks. Watching a movie you’ve already seen three times when you have a test the next day. Spending two hours helping a friend look for a lost cell phone when you need to finish a paper that is due in the morning. Spending ten minutes each evening checking your Next Actions list to plan for the following day. I III II II IV

REVIEW: SELF-MANAGEMENT TOOLS What provides a list of important actions that need to be done numerous times to achieve a goal? What provides a list of important actions that need to be done as soon as possible? What provides a list of important actions that can be done only at a particular time? Tracking Form Next Actions List Monthly Calendar

REVIEW: DEVELOPING SELF-DISCIPLINE What question can you ask yourself to strengthen focus? What are my goals and dreams? What question can you ask yourself to enhance persistence? Do I love myself enough to keep going?

CASE STUDY IN CRITICAL THINKING: PROFESSOR ROGERS' TRIAL Which character in the story is most responsible for the team's grade of D? Be prepared to explain your answer. DIVING DEEPER: Imagine that you have been assigned to a group project in one of your college courses and that the student whom you chose as most responsible for the group’s grade of D (Anthony, Sylvia, or Donald) is in your group. What positive actions could you take to help your group be a success despite this person?

DEVELOPING MUTUALLY SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS FOCUS QUESTION How could you make accomplishing your success a little easier and a lot more fun?

FOUR WAYS OF RELATING Dependence: Codependence: Independence: Interdependence: I can’t achieve my goals by myself. I have to help other people get their goals before I can pursue my own goals. By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself. I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help. 8

NOTE: Some statements may have more than one correct answer... QUICK REVIEW! Identify the way of relating that is depicted in each of the following statements. Be ready to explain your answer. NOTE: Some statements may have more than one correct answer...

QUICK REVIEW Kyle helps Cherie with her writing assignments and she tutors him in math. Candace always lets Kim copy her homework because she doesn't want Kim to get mad at her. Joe refuses to go to the tutoring center: "If I can't learn this by myself, then I shouldn't be in college." Interdependence Codependence (Candace) Dependence (Kim) Independence

JOURNAL ENTRY 16: WARM-UP What past experience of yours might make it challenging for you to choose interdependence? What could your Inner Guide say to help you choose interdependence when doing so would help you achieve your desired outcomes and/or experiences?

ONE STUDENT'S STORY: Jason Matthew Loden What choice(s) does Jason make that demonstrate interdependence? What similar choices could you make to achieve greater success in college?

CREATING A SUPPORT NETWORK FOCUS QUESTION How could you create and sustain an effective support network to help achieve your greatest dreams in college and in life? Consider asking students to spend two minutes jotting down their initial answer to this question. 13

Write why you agree or disagree with the quotation. (3 minutes) QUOTATIONS Choose one quotation in the margin of the “Creating a Support Network” section. Write why you agree or disagree with the quotation. (3 minutes) Join a partner and share/compare what you have written. Be prepared to share with the class what your partner says. After partners share, facilitate a whole-group discussion. Key discussion question: “Does the quotation you chose suggest new choices you could make to be more successful?” 14

JOURNAL ENTRY 17: WARM-UP Write about a time when someone was a great help to you. (5 minutes) 2. Pair up. 3. Partner A, read what you wrote to Partner B. 4. Partner B, ask questions to clarify anything you don’t understand. Then state in your own words what you heard your partner say. 5. Reverse roles and repeat Steps 3 & 4.

ONE STUDENT'S STORY: Neal Benjamin Pick out what you believe is the most significant "Creator statement" in Neal’s story. Explain to a partner why you chose that statement and how you might apply it to help you achieve your desired outcomes and experiences.

STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS WITH ACTIVE LISTENING FOCUS QUESTIONS Do you know how to strengthen a relationship with active listening? What are the essential skills of being a good listener? Consider asking students to spend two minutes jotting down their initial answers to these questions. 17

ACTIVE LISTENING Which of the following listening skills do you think will be the most challenging for you? STEP 1 Listen to understand STEP 2 Clear your mind and remain silent STEP 3 Ask the person to expand or clarify STEP 4 Reflect the other person's thoughts and feelings

PRACTICING ACTIVE LISTENING 1. Form a trio. Decide who will be A, B and C. 2. Person A, tell Person B about the most useful or interesting thing you have learned so far in this class; Person B, use Active Listening skills. (3 minutes) 3. Person C, give Person B feedback about which Active Listening skill s/he did well. Provide examples. 4. Rotate and repeat Steps 2 & 3. Person B talks to Person C; Person A provides feedback to Person C. 5. Rotate and repeat Steps 2 & 3. Person C talks to Person A; Person B provides feedback to Person A.

INTERDEPENDENCE AT WORK What incident have you witnessed (or can imagine happening) in which independence in the workplace interfered with achieving desired outcomes and experiences?

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF: BE ASSERTIVE FOCUS QUESTION How can you communicate in a style that strengthens relationships, creates better results, and builds strong self-esteem? Consider asking students to spend two minutes jotting down their initial answer to this question. 21

INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Placating Its okay if you don’t help with our project in sociology. I’ll just do the work myself. Please don’t be upset with me. I'll drive your friends to the airport and study for my math test later. I'm sorry. I should have cleaned up the mess from our party last night. I’ll do it right now.

INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Blaming You never do anything to help our study team. You’re just lazy! This room is a mess! When do you plan to start doing your share of work around here? My sociology instructor gives unfair tests! He thinks he can ask questions about anything that we were supposed to read for homework.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Leveling I know you've got a lot of work to do tonight. Could we spend just ten minutes cleaning up this mess together? Before I can help you with your paper, I need to finish studying for a test. How about if you help me review tonight and I'll work with you on your paper tomorrow afternoon?

THREE STRATEGIES THAT PROMOTE LEVELING Communicate purposefully Have a clear goal for your communication. Communicate honestly Express unpopular thoughts and upsets. Communicate Responsibly Be accountable by using “I Messages.”

Leveling Placating APPLYING THE CONCEPT After reading each statement below, identify whether it is placating, blaming or leveling. I was really upset when you and your friends came in at three o’clock last night, laughing and yelling. I have to leave for work at 6 a.m. and I need my sleep. Would you agree to never do that again? Leveling Don’t worry about waking me up last night. I know you enjoy partying with your friends. I’ll just go to work sleepy. If I get fired, I can probably find another job. Placating

Blaming Leveling APPLYING THE CONCEPT You are such a jerk! You never show respect for anyone. Why in the world would you be yelling and slamming stuff around at three o'clock in the morning?! Man, you make me sick! Blaming Professor Hartley, I had a couple of questions about my failing grade on the test, and I'd like to make an appointment to discuss those with you. Would tomorrow morning during your office hours be a good time? Say 9:30? Leveling

JOURNAL ENTRY 19: WARM-UP On a clean piece of paper, create two columns. Title one column “Assertive” and title the other column “Unassertive.” In each column, list 10 or more words that you associate with the key word. Write for three minutes about the key differences between being Assertive and being Unassertive. Be prepared to share your writing. On another piece of paper, create a sketch that illustrates the essence of the two concepts: Assertive and Unassertive. Be prepared to explain your drawing.

ONE STUDENT'S STORY: Amy Acton What assertive choices did Amy make and how did those choices change her outcomes and experiences? What similarities and differences do you see between Amy’s situation and yours? What assertive choices could you make to improve your own desired outcomes and experiences?

EMBRACING CHANGE: DO ONE THING DIFFERENT THIS WEEK Look at the list of 10 beliefs and behaviors regarding interdependence. Which is the one you are least inclined to do? Dive deep and explore why. See if you can learn something important about how you view interdependence.

What are the four components of the REVIEW What are the four components of the CORE Learning System? Collecting Organizing Rehearsing Evaluating

BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: TRANSLATION One effective method of memorization is "translating." First, translate verbal information (ideas expressed in words) into visual information (ideas expressed in pictures). Second, translate the information back into words by explaining the picture to someone else.

EXAMPLE OF TRANSLATION Here’s a visual way to remember the three qualities of leveling: A porpoise (purposeful) is swimming to Abraham Lincoln (honest) because it’s responsible for returning his wallet

BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: TRANSLATING One of the key reasons that some cognitive psychologists believe the translation strategy works because of "dual encoding.” That means the brain stores information in both visual and verbal form.

BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: PRACTICE TRANSLATING Translate one of the following into a picture and be prepared to explain your drawing. Feel free to use the On Course text for the information. 5 suggestions for writing a meaningful journal 5 things you Collect when reading 4 ways to refute irrational beliefs 4 self-management tools 3 ways to empower your affirmation 3 principles of deep and lasting learning

KEY CHOICES FOR EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE Using Active Listening Creating a Support Network Developing Mutually Supportive Relationships

TICKET OUT What example did your parents (or other important adult in your life) set for you in regard to employing interdependence? Have students show you their answers in their journals or have them write their responses on a small note card and hand those to you at the door. 37

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