Talking about Bullying

What Is Bullying? Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt or intimidate another person. Can be physical, verbal and/or emotional. Bullying can be overt (i.e., teasing, hitting, or stealing); boys are most often overt bullies. Bullying can covert (i.e., spreading rumors or exclusion); girls are most often covert bullies.

Who Are Bullies? It is difficult to generalise when “profiling” bullies. Some bullies are arrogant and demonstrate strong self-esteem. They feel they have the right to assert their dominance. They enjoy being in control.

Who Are Bullies? (continued) Other bullies have very low self-esteem and use bullying to hide shame and anxiety. They victimise and dominate others, so that they feel empowered themselves.

Who Are Bullies? (continued) Bullies often come from homes that use physical punishment to discipline. Caregivers of bullies are typically uninvolved and lack warmth. Children who bully are often defiant toward authority figures and are apt to break rules.

Who Are The Victims of Bullying? Children who are bullied are often insecure, socially isolated, anxious, and have low self-esteem. They are unlikely to defend themselves or retaliate. They are viewed as “weaker” than their peers.

Who Are The Victims of Bullying? (Continued) Parents of children who are bullied are often overprotective or enmeshed with their children. Children who are bullied perceive parent or teacher intervention to be ineffective and are unlikely to report the problem. EFFECT BULLING CAN HAVE ON VICTIMS Problems they can’t handle Make them popular Bullied at home or previous school Scared of being bullied so they pick on someone else first

Adult Responses To Bullying Bullying is sometimes perceived as a harmless rite of passage that all children will experience. Unless bullying is likely to lead to physical injury, many adults believe it is best left to be resolved by children and their peers.

Long-Term Implications of Bullying Children who are severe bullies are likely to experience legal or criminal problems as adults. Children can carry bullying behaviors into adulthood and experience difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships.

Long-Term Implications of Being Bullied Children who are severely bullied often experience low self-esteem and depression even into adulthood. Children who are bullied perceive school as an unsafe place and as a result, their education is negatively affected.

Long-Term Implications of Being Bullied (continued) In extreme cases, bullying can lead to victims committing suicide or murdering their aggressors.

Strategies to deal with bullying Talk about it. Tell an adult you trust. Teachers, counsellors and parents can all help stop bullying. They can also offer some helpful suggestions to deal with the situation.

Possible strategies to deal with bullying If you can - confront the bully. Be assertive. Speak to the bully calmly but firmly and let them know what they are doing is wrong and must stop. Stand your ground. Bullies expect people to back down, so they may be thrown off balance if you challenge them and stick up for yourself.

Strategies to deal with bullying Sometimes it’s better to walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. The bully may get bored with trying to bother you.

Strategies to deal with bullying Hold the emotions. It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what some bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Try not reacting like crying, or getting angry. Sometimes the best thing to do is to wear a "poker face" until you are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).

Strategies to deal with bullying If you are waiting for an adult to address the issue, but are in contact with the bully at school, avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully.

Remember - bullying CAN be overcome

For More Information About Bullying Visit: National Parent information Network www.npin.org Educators for Social Responsibility www.benjerry.com/esr/about~esr.html Bullying in Schools and What to do About it http://www.education.unisa.edu.au/bullying Anti-Bullying Network http://www.antibullying.net

References: ERIC (1997). What should parents and teachers know about bullying? [Brochure]. US Department of Education. Sjostrom, L., & Stein, N. (1996). Bullyproof. Washington, DC: Wesley College Center for Research on Women. Sharp, S., & Smith, P.K. (Eds.). (1994). Tackling bullying in your school. New York, NY: Routledge.