Ch. 10 Working with Families to Support Self-Esteem CD 11 Dr. Smith

Definition of Self-Esteem Self-esteem is a valuing process and results from an ongoing self-appraisal n which traits and abilities are acknowledged and evaluated. People with high self-esteem are motivated more from the inside than from rewards given by others. Self-esteem is made up of self-image-the pictures we carry pf ourselves-and self-concept- the ideas we have about ourselves. High self-esteem means that a person feels good about themselves-they hold themselves in esteem. Low self-esteem means that a person lacks a global sense of self-worth This concept of self-esteem or self-worth is entirely tied to culture

Definition of Self-Esteem When a family promotes self-assurance, self-help, competence, and being “special,” self-esteem rises if the individual is proud to perceive herself as being in possession of those traits. However, in some cultures, the proud, independent, self-assured individual who stands out in a crowd will be given strong messages about the importance of fitting in, belonging, and putting others first. Culture from any culture can sometimes have an exaggerated sense of their own power, one that doesn’t reflect self-esteem at all but rather their stage of cognitive development. Self-perception must relate to reality to create true self-esteem. Changing and building self-esteem in the first place involves a collaboration. The collaboration is not only with individuals, but also with the culture and community.

Dimensions of Self-Esteem Stanley Coopersmith (1967), a pioneer researcher in this area, self-esteem has at least four dimensions. Your self-esteem depends on what you value, which is likely to be influenced by what your family and culture values for you and where you perceive that you fall in each category. Significance Significance has to do with a feeling of being loved and cared about, the feeling that you matter to someone. A feeling of significance, the feeling that you are important because you are care about is a choice the individual makes. It is vital to understand that children are active participants in the development of their sense of self.

Dimensions of Self-Esteem Competence You can influence competence in a child by helping him become increasingly skilled in a number of areas. Power Feeling that you have some control over being who you are, making things happen in the world, having an effect on the people and events in your life, and living your life satisfactorily gives a sense of power. Virtue Their self-esteem relates to how much of a gap there is between how good they perceive themselves to be and how good they want or need to be.

The Role of Beliefs and Expectations in Self-Esteem Although self-esteem eventually becomes established and relatively stable over time, it not forever fixed and static. Self-esteem doesn’t just change as a child develops, but also changes when circumstances change. It can change instantly. Creating and maintaining self-esteem is a lifelong process-it gets shaped and reshaped. Self-esteem brings with it self-confidence, which is vital trait for development. What a child believes s/he can or cannot do sometimes influences what s/he can or cannot do. \What we believe influences out behavior greatly. Our beliefs create self-fulfilling prophecy. What we expect is what we get, for no other reason than that. Perceptions make up self-esteem, including wrong perceptions.

Where does Self-Esteem come From? Self-esteem, along with self-identity, comes from early experiences and continues up through the school years into adolescences and adulthood. Children define themselves partly by looking at the images that they see reflected in the people around them. A child who has someone who cares about him and meets his needs and creates positive reflections will likely develop a healthy sense of self-worth. Some parents provide their children with lessons on how to survive and stand up to racism, sexism, or ableism, which is discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities. Their children go out into the world with a protective shield that can help them maintain their self-esteem even when they are bombarded with negative messages.

Promoting Self-Esteem Give more Honest Feedback and Encouragement than praise Give children Opportunities to experience success Vygotsky (1978) came up with the term assisted performance or scaffolding to describe when adults give children a helping hand. Experiencing personal success in the face of obstacles gives children messages about their abilities, about their self-worth.

Children Learn from Failure One of the best feedback devices we have is failure. Children need an array of positive experiences every day of their lives. The problem with failure is that it often comes accompanied with heavy value judgements, spoken or unspoken.

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach How adults react to differences in people affects how children react to differences which influences self-esteem. Louise Derman Sparks (1989), faculty member from Pacific Oaks College in Pasadena, her anti-bias curriculum task force have brought awareness to issues of bias that were hidden from many. It’s important for adults to work on their own biases. The tendency in early childhood education and mainstream cultural child rearing has been to be blind to both privilege and injustice. Bias can Hurt Cultural Differences and Self-Esteem Changing Negative Messages to Positive Ones

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Many people who are “blind” to differences are those who don’t carry the bruises and scars left by unfortunate events and by the biased behavior of those who promote stereotypes and practice unfair treatment. Instead of disregarding differences, we should celebrate the differences. Many mistakes and insults occur in the name of “celebrating differences” What is largely unrecognized or at least little discussed is that differences are connected with privilege and power. Differences carry values. Bias can Hurt Cultural Differences and Self-Esteem Changing Negative Messages to Positive Ones

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Bias can Hurt Although bias is natural, it can be bad for children and bad for adults. It not only harms self-esteem, it hurts to feel inferior, and to be disempowered influences your life course. It’s dehumanizing to act superior and to enjoy unearned privilege, even when you are not aware of what’s happening. Discriminating on the basis of skin color is immoral . Recognizing differences in skin color is not, as long as you don’t present one color as better than another. People with disabilities also face these same problems, and any anti-bias approach should include them as well. Children need to learn to appreciate people for who they are and respond respectfully. Inclusion is good for everybody as children have opportunities to get to know people who don’t have the same abilities that they have.

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Bias can Hurt Inclusion also means that adults have to ensure that all children are treated fairly and with respect. Teach children to respond positively in the face of differences by modeling anti-bias behaviors. Acknowledge the existence and experience of others by creating an anti-bias environment; expose children to pictures, books, and experiences of adults and children both like themselves and unlike themselves. Point out stereotypes in the media when they occur. Make it clear that bias is unacceptable. Children understand the concept of fair and unfair. Bias is definitely not fair. Children need to understand that biased behavior is unacceptable.

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Cultural Differences and Self-Esteem As children grow, they develop an idea of themselves. This idea influences the behavior of the actual self. The actual self in turn influences the self-concept, which continues to influence behavior. The actual self and the self-concept are forever tied together, and self esteem grows fro the interaction of the two. Self-esteem is culturally based and depends on the basic concept of what makes up a person. How you build self-esteem in the early years is influenced by your view of individual. A valid goal of self-esteem is to enable children to stand on their own but also with their community. Changing Negative Messages to Positive Ones

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Cultural Differences and Self-Esteem Affirmations as a way of building relationships with families. Affirmations are those positive messages that validate the person or the family. Affirmations encourage people to be wo they are. Affirmations focus on strengths and encourage parents to see how they can be while accepting how they are at the present. Affirmations can create self-fulfilling prophecies that have a positive effect. Its worth nothing that messages we give adults are strongly influenced by the ones we’ve been given as children. Like today’s children, have been influenced by the whole context we grew up in, including the different era.

Celebrating Differences: An Anti-bias Approach Changing Negative Messages to Positive Ones If you’re walking around with mostly negative messages in your heart, it will be hard for you to give out the positive messages that children need. While you are supporting children and parents to the the best they can be, also work on yourself; and while you are doing that, figure out ways to nurture yourself-and encourage parents to do the same. We all need affirmations all the time, not just during crisis periods.