Obstacles to Authentic Fellowship among Daughters of Zion Philippians 4:1-3

Unresolved Conflicts – Obstacles to Authentic Fellowship

What is conflict?

Synonyms: n:   battle, clash, collision, combat, contention, contest, encounter, engagement, fight, fracas, head-to-head, set-to  (informal) strife, war, warfare   antagonism, bad blood, difference, disagreement, discord, dissension, divided loyalties, friction, hostility, interference, opposition, strife, variance  vb: be at variance, clash, collide, combat, contend, contest, differ, disagree, fight, interfere, strive, struggle  

Antonyms: n: - accord, agreement, harmony, peace, treaty, truce vb: - agree, coincide, harmonize, reconcile

Who are those that can cause us conflict? Those in close proximity with us Parents Siblings In-laws Children Co-workers Etc., Spiritual conflicts (with yourself and the enemy) Conflict with the world

Does Christianity shield us from conflicts? NO! Genesis 4: 3-16 Philippians 4:23-24 Acts 15:36-40 Matthew 5: 23-24 Matthew 10:34-36 Matthew 16: 22-23 Matthew 18:13 , 18: 16-18 Galatians 2:11

What happens when there is conflict? (Conflict’s Anatomy) Genesis 4:3-7 Perceptions (Interpretations of actions, etc.) Emotions (feelings, etc.) Attitude (reaction to the situation)

(conflict brings out something in you that you did not know was there) Conflict Emotions anger, lonely, fearful, surprised, anxious, grieving, shamed, humiliated, uncomfortable, frustrations, etc. (conflict brings out something in you that you did not know was there)

What are the after effects of these emotions? un-forgiveness, bitterness, wars, hatred, callous, merciless, pitiless, unsympathetic, cold-hearted uncaring, cruel, insensitive, etc. These are some symptoms of unresolved conflicts

What are the results of these symptoms? Physically: weakened heart, and stiffer arteries, lack of sleep, etc Spiritually: Separation from God (we do not pray), we are not forgiven, no peace, no spiritual growth, we become stagnant Matthew 6:14

What are the results of these symptoms? Family: wedges between brothers and sisters, wedges between parents and kids, lack of intimacy between spouses, open the doors for the devil to come in and have a field day, misbehaved kids, delinquent teenagers (research shows that teenagers are more affected by unresolved conflict between their parents), etc

What is God’s ultimate desire for us as Christians? Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12: 14, Matthew 5:9

WHAT ARE THE WAYS WE RESOLVE CONFLICTS?

Ways We Tend to Resolve Conflicts Confront –Attack (You win, relationship suffers)

Ways We tend to resolve conflicts Cont’d Passive Aggressive/Sarcasm (You win, relationship suffers)

Ways We tend to resolve conflicts Cont’d Acquiesce (You lose, relationship may win)

Ways We tend to resolve conflicts Cont’d Avoid (You lose, relationship lose)

Ways We tend to resolve conflicts Cont’d Approach and collaborate (You win, relationship wins)

How does God want us to resolved conflicts and why? Approach and Collaborate..... Matthew 18:15-17, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Matthew 5:23- 26

What are the steps involved in conflict resolution? (How do we go about resolving conflicts God’s way)

Conflict Resolution Steps (God’s way) Define the issue, Pray, listen and seek understanding- Prayers (Matt 18: 18-20) togetherness—power of praying Whose issue is it? What kind of issue is it? Is there more than one issue involve here? What is the other person’s core concern? What is my core concern?  

Conflict Resolution Steps cont’d How important is this issue to you or the other person? It is a low ticket item or high ticket item? What is my contribution to this issue? (do not blame or point finger to only the other person, it takes two to start a conflict)

Conflict Resolution Steps cont’d Do I need to apologies or ask for forgiveness Choose radical responsibility Choose what you can do differently Pray about it, do it and review it. Last resort…an arbitrator, a mediator, peacemaker

Benefits of Resolved Conflicts Conflict exposes our CHARACTER that needs MENDING. It is an opportunity to GROW. You know a little more of yourself You built TRUST with your sisters or brothers, child, husband, etc. You live an OVERCOMER’s live Your gift is accepted by God You bring GLORY to God

Benefits of Resolved Conflicts Cont’d You are more DEPENDENT on God. Your VIEW of relationship changes forever. You know every relationship is YOU, GOD and the OTHER person. You let God win. There is a deep sense of understanding between you and the other person after conflict is resolved.

Conclusion Unresolved conflicts affect your righteous walk with God. Affects your relationships. Resolving conflicts move you from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3: 16-18). You are beautiful inside out. Can only be done in the strength of God, rely on GOD. He is the author of relationships. (Philippians 4:13) Once you give your life to Christ it is no longer you that live but Christ lives in you (Galatians 2:20) God is faithful (1 Thessalonians 5: 22-24) You know every relationship is: YOU, GOD and the OTHER person. You let God win.

Prayers