Strategies for Creating Success in Life Salman Malik Gaining Self-Awareness

6 | 2 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. CHOICES OF SUCCESSFUL STUDENTS GAINING SELF-AWARENESS

6 | 3 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. REVIEW: WAYS OF RELATING Read each of the following statements one at a time. Identify the way of relating that is indicated. Be ready to explain your answer. Some statements may have more than one correct answer...

6 | 4 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Nate, who has a 1.9 GPA, always studies alone, saying, "I don't have time for study groups." Ben seldom attends math class, counting on his roommate to tell him what to study and when the tests are. Morgan often does her boyfriend's homework instead of her own. Independence Codependence Dependence REVIEW: WAYS OF RELATING Interdependence Mary, Ja'Mar and Timothy formed a study group for their History class.

6 | 5 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. REVIEW: ACTIVE LISTENING What are the four steps of active listening? Listen to understand Clear your mind and remain silent Ask the person to expand or clarify Reflect the other person's thoughts and feelings

6 | 6 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. CASE STUDY IN CRITICAL THINKING: STRANGE CHOICES Choose the student you think made the strangest choice and speculate why she or he made this choice. Dive deep. In particular, what are the kinds of past experiences that may have made the student behave this way? DIVING DEEPER Recall a course you once took in which you made a choice that your instructor might describe as “strange.” Explain why you made that choice. Dive deep, exploring what really caused your choice.

6 | 7 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. RECOGNIZING WHEN YOU ARE OFF COURSE FOCUS QUESTIONS In which of your life roles are you off course? Do you know how you got there? More important, do you know how to get back on course to your desired outcomes and experiences?

6 | 8 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. THREE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS 1.What habits do I have that sabotage my success? 2.What beliefs do I have that get me off course? 3.How can I consistently make wise choices that will create a rich, personally fulfilling life? Your answers to these questions can be life-changing. Becoming aware of the unconscious and habitual choices that get you off course from your goals and dreams gives you greater control over the most important factor in your success: Yourself!

6 | 9 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. ONE STUDENT'S STORY: How did Successful student actions, thoughts and feelings change when he/she got to college? In what ways have your own actions, thoughts and feelings changed since you began college? Are these new actions, thoughts and feelings supporting or sabotaging your success? If sabotaging, what different choices could you make?

6 | 10 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. IDENTIFYING YOUR SCRIPTS FOCUS QUESTIONS What habit patterns in your life get you off course? How did these habit patterns develop?

6 | 11 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. SCRIPTS

6 | 12 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. ANATOMY OF A SCRIPT Habit Patterns Habitual Thoughts: If I don’t understand a subject right away, I never will. Habitual Emotions: When I don’t understand a subject immediately, I get frustrated. Habitual Behaviors: When I get frustrated, I quit. Core Beliefs I’m not smart enough to succeed in college.

6 | 13 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. APPLYING THE CONCEPT Identify each of the following as a possible pattern of Thought Emotion Behavior…

6 | 14 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. APPLYING THE CONCEPT I’m so dumb! Being irritated. Becoming very angry. Driving around instead of stopping to ask directions. Often arriving late to class. Frustration I’m no good in math. Thought Emotion Behavior Emotion Thought

6 | 15 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. What Core Belief on the left might lead to the Behavior on the right? Core Beliefs Cheating isn’t really a big deal Not trying is better than failing Asking for help is a sign of weakness Effort is rewarded Behaviors Studying math for 4 hours Skipping a final exam Copying answers during a test Avoiding the tutoring center APPLYING THE CONCEPT

6 | 16 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. QUOTATIONS 1. Pair up with a student who chose a different quotation. 2. Partner A, read your quotation aloud and explain to Partner B what you find interesting about it. If possible, relate the idea in the quotation to a personal experience. 3. Reverse roles, and repeat Step 3.

6 | 17 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. REWRITING YOUR OUTDATED SCRIPTS FOCUS QUESTION How can you revise the self-defeating patterns that keep you from achieving your full potential?

6 | 18 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. SELF-DEFEATING THOUGHTS I’m wasting my time going to college; I’m not smart enough. None of my high school friends are going to this college; I’ll never make good friends here. There’s way more work in college than in high school. I’ll never keep up.

6 | 19 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. When I tried hard in high school, I got good grades. I just have to keep making wise choices, work hard, and learn from my mistakes. There are good people everywhere. I’ll just have to make an extra effort to meet them. I’ll master the use of self-management tools; then I’ll be able to complete all of my assignments. REWRITING SELF-DEFEATING THOUGHTS

6 | 20 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. ANATOMY OF AN EMPOWERING SCRIPT Patterns Thought Patterns I will pass chemistry. Emotional Patterns I am calm and focused during tests. Behavior Patterns I attend classes regularly, do all assignments thoroughly, and participate actively. Core Beliefs I am intelligent. Working hard pays off. People will help me if I ask.

6 | 21 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. ONE STUDENT'S STORY: Who was your favorite teacher in elementary or middle school? What did you like about that teacher? What messages did that person give you about your value as a person and your ability as a learner?

6 | 22 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. SELF-AWARENESS AT WORK As each picture appears, decide whether it represents “soft skills” or “hard skills.” Explain your decision.

6 | 23 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. SELF-AWARENESS AT WORK Components of Self-Assessment Soft Skills Hard Skills Personal Preferences Why are personal preferences an important part of self-assessment for work and career choices?

6 | 24 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. SELF-AWARENESS AT WORK Investigative Social Conventional Realistic Artistic Enterprising Holland Code: Six Personality Types

6 | 25 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. APPLYING THE CONCEPT: THE HOLLAND CODE As each career appears in the left-hand column, match it to the Holland Code personality type in the right-hand column that would best match that career.

6 | 26 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Salesperson, lawyer, manager Mechanic, electrician, civil engineer Accountant, computer operator, credit manager Nurse, teacher, social worker Chemist, detective, astronomer Author, artist, musician Realistic Investigative Artistic Social Enterprising Conventional APPLYING THE CONCEPT: THE HOLLAND CODE

6 | 27 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. BELIEVING IN YOURSELF : WRITE YOUR OWN RULES FOCUS QUESTIONS What personal rules do you have that guide the choices you make daily? Which of these rules help you create high self- esteem?

6 | 28 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. THREE SUCCESS RULES Rule 1: I Show Up Rule 2: I Do My Best Work Rule 3: I Participate Actively

6 | 29 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. QUICK REVIEW: THREE SUCCESS RULES Which rule leads to attending classes? I Show Up Which rule leads to striving for excellence? I Do My Best Work Which rule leads to taking part in class discussions and activities? I Participate Actively

6 | 30 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. THREE SUCCESS RULES I Show Up I Do My Best Work I Participate Actively Which of these rules, if you applied it more consistently, would increase your chances for academic success? How important are these same three rules for creating career success?

6 | 31 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. JOURNAL ENTRY 23: DIVING DEEPER Is there a particular religion, philosophy, code of conduct, spiritual practice, organization or belief system, that is important to you? If so, what are the guiding principles or “rules”? Which of these principles or rules would help you to achieve your greatest potential in college? Explain how.

6 | 32 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Recognizing When You Are Off Course Rewriting Your Outdated Scripts Identifying Your Scripts KEY CHOICES FOR GAINING SELF-AWARENESS