Dating Under the Influence Risky Business

How does alcohol affect people? Impairs Judgment Impairs Judgment Loss of inhibition Loss of inhibition Loss of motor coordination Loss of motor coordination Extreme Drowsiness Extreme Drowsiness Confusion Confusion What else? What else?

How are these effects dangerous on a date? Impaired judgment could lead to bad decisions

How are these effects dangerous on a date? Loss of inhibition could cause one to do things they normally wouldnt

How are these effects dangerous on a date? Loss of motor coordination makes it harder to defend yourself in necessary makes it harder to defend yourself in necessary

How are these effects dangerous on a date? Extreme drowsiness could cause one to fall asleep or pass out and make it easier for someone to take advantage of her/him

How are these effects dangerous on a date? Confusion could make it easier for someone to convince you to do something you normally wouldnt

What could happen as a result? Someone might have sex who didnt want to Someone might have sex who didnt want to Someone might go farther than they intended Someone might go farther than they intended Someone might have unprotected sex Someone might have unprotected sex Someone might not be able to prevent a sexual assault Someone might not be able to prevent a sexual assault Someone might become more sexually aggressive Someone might become more sexually aggressive

What are the possible consequences? Unwanted pregnancy Unwanted pregnancy Sexually transmitted disease Sexually transmitted disease Date rape Date rape Bad reputation Bad reputation Disappoint family and/or friends Disappoint family and/or friends Lose self-esteem and self-confidence Lose self-esteem and self-confidence Anything else? Anything else?

Date Rape Many people believe most rapes are committed by strangers. Not true. In over half of all rapes, the victim knows the rapist. Usually, alcohol is involved. Alcohol is the #1 date rape drug.

Date Rape Why is alcohol involved in date rapes? It can impair the emotional control of the rapist It can impair the emotional control of the rapist It affects the skills that can protect a person from being assaulted. It affects the skills that can protect a person from being assaulted. However – alcohol use is NEVER an excuse for sexual assault!

Date Rape What is date rape?

Protective Skills Realize what situations place you in danger Avoid and manage conflicts with partners Perceive clearly what others are doing Establish and communicate your desires and limits – set them in advance

How are these skills affected by alcohol? Will you Realize youre in danger if your judgment and all your senses are impaired?

If you dont know youre in danger, how can you Avoid the situation? Will you have the presence of mind to figure out how to get out of the situation?

If your senses are dulled by alcohol, will you be able to Perceive what other people are doing? Will you be alert enough to Perceive their motivations?

Even if you have previously Established your limits, will you be able to communicate them if you are under the influence? And if the person you are with is also under the influence, will they understand what you are saying?

Pennsylvania Law Pennsylvania state law recognizes that someone who is under the influence of alcohol is not able to give reasoned consent to sex. It therefore considers sex with a person under the influence of alcohol to be rape. Any alcohol at all impairs a persons ability to make that decision.

No one is EVER justified in forcing sex if the other party says no, resists, or is under the influence of alcohol.

Reduce the risk… Its possible to do everything right and still be assaulted. However, the following can help reduce the risk: ÄBÄBÄBÄBe aware that alcohol is the #1 date rape drug ÄNÄNÄNÄNever leave a drink unattended ÄAÄAÄAÄArrange with a friend to look out for each other ÄMÄMÄMÄMake sure your date understands that no means no

Risky Situations Break into groups. Each group should review one of the following scenarios. Identify what makes the situations risky and what the people involved can do to make the situation safer.

Scenario #1 Nick and Maria are on their third date. They go to a drive-in. Nicks buddies have been asking him if he has had sex with her. She likes him and wants their relationship to grow, but isnt ready for that yet. Once the movie starts, he pulls out a six-pack of beer. He drinks one and gives one to her. She doesnt like beer, but pretends to sip it. They kiss. After a few beers, he starts to unbutton her blouse. She says No, lets just kiss. He ignores her. She gets scared and says, Lets just kiss, wait… He forces sex. Afterwards, he thinks they had fun, she feels betrayed and raped.

Scenario #2 Vanessa is at a party with friends. There are a lot of cute college guys there. She has a few drinks and flirts with Larry, who she thinks is attractive. He gets her another drink, they dance and talk. Vanessa notices Larry likes to tease people and is competitive with his friends. He offers her a ride home. She agrees even though she promised her parents shed go with her friends. He takes her to a make-out spot. She gets scared and asks him to take her home. He teases her and says shes been flirting with him all night and he knows she wants it as bad as he does. He rapes her.

Scenario #3 Mitch and Karen have been dating for six months. Two months ago, they had sex a couple of times. She never felt right about it. She told Mitch she liked him and wanted to continue dating, but didnt want to have sex any more because she was scared shed get pregnant or her parents would find out. Mitch really likes her and said okay, but thinks shed have sex again if he pressured her enough. One night they go back to his house for pizza. His parents are out for the evening. He gives Karen a couple of wine coolers. After she begins to show the effects, he sees his chance. He starts kissing her and trying to undress her. She tries to refuse, but is under the influence. She tells him she doesnt want to do it. He asks, Whats the big deal? We did it before. My friends will think Im a wimp if let you say no. They have sex. Karen feels raped.

Scenario #4 Kim had planned an overnight at a local hotel with a group of friends. Their plans included alcohol. After checking in, they headed for the Jacuzzi. They each had a drink. Pat, who Kim liked, was there with Jan. Kim felt jealous and got more frustrated, angry, and sad with every drink. Eventually, almost everyone paired off. Kim was sitting in the hot tub with Tracy. Tracy made a pass. Kim didnt find Tracy attractive, but thought getting together was better than being alone. They had sex. Kim knew right away it was a mistake, that it made things worse, not better. Kim says now if it hadnt been for the alcohol, none of it would have happened, that alcohol makes you think differently. Because of alcohol, Kim made a bad decision.

Review

Remember Drinking and dating dont mix Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions Alcohol is no excuse for rape – no one is ever justified in forcing sex if the other party resists, says no, or is under the influence of alcohol

The Pennsylvania Division of the American Trauma Society has developed this program with a grant from the National Recreation Foundation For more information about this or any of our programs, contact our office at