1. Refusal Skills
Saying “No”

2. If you think sex is a possibility and you don’t want to have sex
If you think sex is a possibility and you don’t want to have sex... Make that clear before you are alone together

3. Know your sexual boundaries and communicate them clearly
Is kissing OK, but touching is not?
Should clothes stay on? If so, which ones?
What can your partner expect if you change your mind?
It might help to let your partner know that it is OK for them to say no to you as well

4. Monitor Sexual Signals

5. If you feel things are headed towards sex, taper off physical contact and then gently pull away
If your partner pressures you, calmly explain why you do not wish to have sex

6. Rejection can cause hurt feelings...

7. Try not to compensate for their disappointment by launching into a passionate kiss

8. Sometimes it’s
easy to say no…
Sometimes it’s
difficult to say no…

9. Sometimes people feel obligated to have sex, so saying "No" can be difficult

10. Just because we: Sexted Messaged all night Texted Danced close
Made out
Went back to your house

11. It’s not always men who are aggressive
Remember...
It’s not always men who are aggressive

12. Teenagers who reject peer pressure find it actually increases their self-confidence

13. Examples of saying no:
"No, I'm not ready."
"No, I don't want to."
"No, it doesn't feel right.”

14. "You can't force me by making me feel bad. I still don't want to do it"

15. "My mother told me that she had sex before she was ready and it ruined her relationship. I don’t want to make that mistake"

16. "Some people regret their first time...
I don't want to be that person"

17. "I don’t want a relationship that’s
just based on sex"

18. "I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment"

19. "I want to be affectionate and connect, just not in that way right now"

20. "Listen, we’re not having sex tonight"
You can be blunt...
"Listen, we’re not having sex tonight"

21. "I have so much fun when I'm with you, but I don't see a romantic future for us"

22. "It could make things weird"

23. This is ALWAYS a clear ‘NO’!
REMEMBER!
This is ALWAYS a clear ‘NO’!

24. How to say "NO" Say "No” Use Body Language Repeat the Refusal
Suggest an Alternative
Build the Relationship (if appropriate)

25. Scenario
You and your boy/girlfriend are alone at your house. You don’t expect your parents to be home for a couple of hours. You’ve never talked about having sex, and didn’t plan on having it tonight, but things seem to be going in that direction
What do you do?