LOVE vs. Infatuation Our thoughts

Love Is…… Write it down on your heart.

The Giving Tree By: Shel Silverstein

Ladder of Love Mature love for others Mature love for others –Love for humankind, very unselfish love. Love for children Love for children –Unselfish love with ability to love without expecting anything in return. Love for the opposite sex Love for the opposite sex –Begins with interest in the other sex and continues throughout life. Love for someone the same sex, older Love for someone the same sex, older –Role model and exemplified what you wanted to become. Love for same sex friend Love for same sex friend –Close friend of the same age and sex. First love outside the family First love outside the family –You had fun with this person and loved him for the times shared. Love of other relatives Love of other relatives –Love of a relative which brought a special sense of security. Love for secondary caregiver Love for secondary caregiver –This person met your needs and cared for you. Usually your father. Love for primary caregiver Love for primary caregiver –Your primary caregiver (usually mother). Self-love Self-love –Until you love yourself, you cannot truly love another.

How would you describe the level of love the tree had? (ladder of love) How would you describe the level of love the tree had? (ladder of love) How would you describe the level(s) of love the boy had? (ladder of love) How would you describe the level(s) of love the boy had? (ladder of love) How did you describe love? How did you describe love?

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Attraction based on sexual desire, affection, and tenderness felt. Connection based on admiration, benevolence, unselfish loyalty, concern for the good of another, or common interests Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion, to hold dear. A score of zero, holding ones opponent scoreless in tennis. LOVE according to Websters Dictionary

We know for sure that…. Love is vital to the well-being of a person Love is vital to the well-being of a person –Elderly in rest homes or without spouse Love is based on and best expressed through trust, honesty, and respect. Love is based on and best expressed through trust, honesty, and respect. There are many types of love that we receive daily. There are many types of love that we receive daily. –Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself = Self Love 9 types of love

SELF-LOVE Respect and concern for self Respect and concern for self An egotistic, narcissistic kind of love. An egotistic, narcissistic kind of love.

Unconditional love It asks for nothing in return. It asks for nothing in return. Showing love towards someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. Showing love towards someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs.

COMPANIONSHIP LOVE. Typically found in good friendships

PLATONIC LOVE Based upon Non-sexual feelings with the opposite sex and not physical attraction. Based upon Non-sexual feelings with the opposite sex and not physical attraction. Spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman. Spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman.

MANIC LOVE A crazy, possessive, A crazy, possessive, jealous kind of love.

ROMANTIC LOVE Also known as puppy love, and is an exaggerated form of love.

ALTRUISTIC LOVE Selfless love or concern for the spouse.

Infatuation vs. Love Happens quickly Happens quickly Short-lived Short-lived Physical thrills Physical thrills Jealousy Jealousy Rush to marry Rush to marry Grows slowly Grows slowly Long lasting Long lasting Trust Trust More realistic More realistic More thoughtful More thoughtful

Love is a feeling you feel when you feel you are feeling a feeling youve never felt before.

Tunnel Of Love Experience Get into groups of 4 and complete the steps on the envelope

Love is …….. * Grows slowly, beginning with friendship * Grows slowly, beginning with friendship * Lasts over a long period of time * Lasts over a long period of time * Involves the entire character and personality of the partner * Involves the entire character and personality of the partner * The relationship grows and matures as time passes * The relationship grows and matures as time passes * Little jealousyaccepting of one another's feelings * Little jealousyaccepting of one another's feelings * Work harder at assigned tasks * Work harder at assigned tasks * Less emotional and moodymore happy and kind * Less emotional and moodymore happy and kind * Opinions of other people are not as important * Opinions of other people are not as important * Fun times and friendship are more important than a physical relationship * Fun times and friendship are more important than a physical relationship * Share common interests * Share common interests * Enjoy being together without need of expensive entertainment * Enjoy being together without need of expensive entertainment * Trust and have confidence in self and in the relationship * Trust and have confidence in self and in the relationship * Trust the partner * Trust the partner * There is no rush to make decisionsthe future is planned with confidence * There is no rush to make decisionsthe future is planned with confidence * More vital, more energy * More vital, more energy * See life realistically * See life realistically

Infatuation is ………. Is common during teen years Is common during teen years * Grows rapidlylove at first sight * Grows rapidlylove at first sight * Does not last long * Does not last long * Occurs shortly after breaking up with someoneknown as on the rebound * Occurs shortly after breaking up with someoneknown as on the rebound * Is centered on a few admired traits in the other person * Is centered on a few admired traits in the other person * Is often based on physical traits or feelings * Is often based on physical traits or feelings * Does not see or acknowledge the other person's weaknesses * Does not see or acknowledge the other person's weaknesses * The relationship stays the same for a long timedoes not go anywhere * The relationship stays the same for a long timedoes not go anywhere * Selfish and possessive of the other personjealous * Selfish and possessive of the other personjealous * Disagreements are common -- fighting * Disagreements are common -- fighting * Daydreamcannot concentrate on necessary tasks * Daydreamcannot concentrate on necessary tasks * May lose your appetite * May lose your appetite * Is easily influenced by the person they are infatuated with * Is easily influenced by the person they are infatuated with * Creates a selfish relationship"How can he/she help me get what I want?" * Creates a selfish relationship"How can he/she help me get what I want?" * Other people's opinions matter too much * Other people's opinions matter too much * May be based on physical enjoyment–a couple who finds themselves bored without physical stimulation * May be based on physical enjoyment–a couple who finds themselves bored without physical stimulation * Feelings of insecurity * Feelings of insecurity * Lack of trust in partner * Lack of trust in partner * Feels a real need to marry * Feels a real need to marry * Causes lack of ambition and to disregard problems * Causes lack of ambition and to disregard problems

Hes teaching her arithmetic He said is was his mission, He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, Now thats addition. He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, Now thats addition. And as he added smack by smack is silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, Now thats subtraction. Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation, then both together smiled an said, Thats multiplication. Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision, He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, Thats long-division!

Sex/physical Physical looks Money and status INFATUATION LOVE Money and status Sex /physical Physical looks WEB Dear ABBY WHAT ELSE?

What Love Isnt Dear Abby, after 13 years of being with an abusive husband, I finally figured out what a jerk he really is. I sat down one day and wrote down all the things he has put me through and titled it, Love isnt…. Raising you hand with intent to scare or harm your spouse. Raising you hand with intent to scare or harm your spouse. Making yourself absent when your spouse is sick Making yourself absent when your spouse is sick Standing them up for important celebrations Standing them up for important celebrations Screaming or yelling at them Screaming or yelling at them Calling them names: stupid, liar, Calling them names: stupid, liar, Being nice only when you want affection Being nice only when you want affection Not letting them express their opinions Not letting them express their opinions Thinking of yourself first Thinking of yourself first Criticizing them in front of other people Criticizing them in front of other people Threatening them Threatening them Being physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive Being physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive

Look at your ABCs of Love. What types of love were the characteristics you listed?