Warm Up—10/3 Get out your SMART communication goals. Share with your table group the goal that you think will be most difficult for you and how you plan to achieve it.

The Accident

Large Group Questions What happened with each retelling of the story? What did you think as you heard each person tell his or her version of the accident?

Volunteers Questions What was it like to be told the story and then asked to repeat it to someone else? Would it have made a different if you knew before being told the story that you would have to repeat it? Why? How did you feel you were being told the story? What helped or interfered with your listening?

Listening Blocks

Listening Blocks Rehearsing Judging Identifying If while someone is talking you are busy silently rehearing or planning a reply, it’s harder to concentrate on what the person is actually saying. Judging If you’re focused on how a person is dressed, looks, or talks, you may prejudge the person or dismiss the idea he or she is describing as unimportant or uninformed. Identifying If you’re occupied thinking about how your own experience and launch into a story before the person even finishes his or her story, you may lose sight of what the other person was trying to communicate.

Listening Blocks Advising Sparring Put-Downs If you are intent on offering just the right advice for someone’s problems before the person is done talking, you might not fully understand the individual’s situation. Sparring If you’re focused on disagreeing with what someone else is saying, you’re probably not giving the other person a chance to express himself or herself. Put-Downs If you’re using sarcastic comments to put down another person’s point of view, you could draw the other person into an argumentative conversation in which no one hears anything.

Listening Blocks Being Right If you’re intent on proving your point or not admitting any wrongdoing, you may end up twisting facts, shouting, making excuses, or even arguing the opposite of what you initially said. This may confuse and upset both you and the other person. Derailing If you suddenly change the subject or joke about what is being said, you’re likely to weaken a speaker’s trust in you and your ability to show understanding. Smoothing Over If you dislike conflict or want others to like you, you may appear to be supportive but not really fully engaged in the conversation. Day Dreaming If you tune out while someone’s talking, you’ll likely not hear what the person is saying.

10 Ways To Have Better Conversation Celeste Headlee https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_better_conversation?language=en

Don’t multitask – be present Don’t pontificate --- “Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t” (Bill Nye) Ask open ended questions – start with who, what, when, where, why or how Go with the flow – whatever you think of, let it go If you don’t know, say that you don’t know Don’t equate your experience with theirs – all experiences are individual – it is NOT about you Try not to repeat yourself – it’s condescending and boring Stay out of the weeds LISTEN – the most important one – “If your mouth is open you’re not learning” (Buddha) – “Nobody ever listened his way out of a job” (Calvin Coolidge) Be brief