Tattling and Correcting Others

(5 minutes) Explain that building healthy relationships is a big part of social skills. If we can make and keep friends, we will have the chance to interact with each other, to feel included, to have fun, and to have a community that supports us when we need help. To maintain friendships, we should make careful choices. Some choices we make can damage friendships because they hurt people’s feelings. In the bubbles are thoughts people might have when someone corrects them/tells them what to do or tattles on them (tells a adult about their negative behavior). How do you feel when someone corrects you? How do you feel when someone tattles on you?

How would you feel…? Dance Moms: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d5rXrcGb1A Dogs (1:30-2:40): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88XQcpU5Vuk Agatha: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci0sqeZI-88 (10 minutes) Watch these videos of people tattling or correcting others. How would you feel if you were this person? Tattling and correcting can make the one doing the tattling/correcting feel better, but it often makes others feel worse.

Create Your Tattling/Correcting Book! Cut out the pieces. Staple the pieces together into a book. Tattling and Correcting Others cover page Should You Tattle? Should You Correct Someone? Choices? Tape the book into your notebook. Write a title on the top of the page. (10-15 minutes) Hand out the Tattling and Correcting Others Book paper. Have students cut out, assemble, and staple the book. Have them tape the book into their notebooks.

(5-10 minutes) If we want to tell a teacher, a parent, or another authority figure about the actions of another person, you should stop and think. First, is the action hurting you (or someone else)? If someone is being physically hurt or bullied, you should tell an authority figure. If no one is being hurt, think: Are you in charge? Most of the time this answer is “no.” If you are responsible for someone’s behavior, you can ask for help. Finally, think: Did someone ask you the rules? If so, you can help by explaining the rules. If you go through this checklist and decide that you need to tell an adult about a problem, you should ALWAYS talk to them in private. Really, if it is the RIGHT time to talk to an adult, it’s not tattling– it’s telling. It’s ok to tell an adult if someone is being hurt. That’s not really tattling. We are going to practice using the checklist. I will give you a scenario and then ask you the questions on the paper. As a class, you should say “yes” or “no” out loud. To each step. At the end, I’ll ask “Should you tattle?” and you should all know what to do. The student next to you isn’t doing his work. A student is talking behind you. A student is stabbing another student with a pencil. A student is tapping a pencil and it’s annoying. A student keeps making fun of you. This is happening every day and you feel unsafe.

(5-10 minutes) Most people don’t like to be corrected– they don’t like it when someone points out their mistakes or flaws. Because we want to build positive relationships, we should work on behaviors that help (not hurt!) our relationships. It is almost never worth it to correct someone. First, you should think “Does it matter?” Will there be a consequence for YOU if you don’t correct someone? Will there be a serious consequence for others if you do not correct them? If not, it probably doesn’t matter. If you see someone being bullied, you can stand up for them. This is a way of correcting people that is good. Then, think: Am I in charge? If you are responsible for another student, that would be a good time to correct them. This is why teachers correct students. You are almost never in charge of another student, though, so the answer to this one is probably “no.” Finally, think: Will it bother the other person? This depends on your relationship with the other person and your voice tone/word choice. Lots of times, correcting someone does bother them, whether they show it or not. We are going to practice using the checklist. I will give you a scenario and then ask you the questions on the paper. As a class, you should say “yes” or “no” out loud. To each step. At the end, I’ll ask “Should you correct someone?” and you should all know what to do. A student is reading out loud and mispronounces a word. A student stands up during class and starts pacing. A student is talking when they aren’t supposed to. The math teacher is telling a story and gets the dates of the Civil War wrong. Your group in class is working together to come up with an answer and a student makes a multiplication mistake.

(5-10 minutes) We have lots of different choices when we want to tattle or correct someone. We can choose to say nothing. This is a good choice if we should not tattle or correct someone. We can ask the person to stop. How do people react when we tell them to stop? How can we say this is a way that gets the results we want? (Be close to the person, not across the room; Ask in a kind, quiet voice; Explain why the thing bothers you in a way that doesn’t blame the other person) We can wait for an adult to tell them to stop. Most of the time, a distracting or obnoxious behavior will be corrected by the teacher. Sometimes, the teacher is choosing to ignore the behavior because the student WANTS attention. We can try to tell the person that they are wrong. We should never tell people that their opinion is wrong. If it is a good choice to correct someone, we can correct facts that they believe. However, without proof, some people might not accept the correction. We can go right to an adult to tell. This is usually the right choice if someone is being hurt. This conversation should happen in private, because tattling/correcting can make others lose trust in you if you do it too often.

Letting it go… If you decide it’s not the right time to tattle or correct someone, you should use your coping skills to “let it go!” Let it Go, the Tattling Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI5eDaLvoK8 If you tattle or correct someone and you shouldn’t, expect your teachers to ignore your complaint or correct you. (5 minutes)

The Tattling and Correcting Game I will read a scenario. You should decide if it would be a good choice to tattle or correct the person. Then, you should: Stand by the door if you should tattle/correct Stand by the opposite wall if you should not tattle/correct Stand in the middle of the room if you aren’t sure/have a different idea (15-20 minutes) Go through the slides on the power point and have students move to the appropriate sides of the room. After each round, have a few students share their thoughts. Error-correct as needed, if there is a definite wrong answer shared. There are multiple ways to respond to each scenario. As the game goes on, emphasize that even if it can be socially appropriate to correct someone, it can still damage relationships. Help students brainstorm ways to cope with annoying things and “let it go.”