Health Sigma Kappa – Spring 2003 Mind Body Soul

Mind Intellect Attitude Social Emotions Thank you Mandie and Jamie for sharing your wealth of knowledge with us about Body health and how we can be better eaters and better cares for our friends we are concerned have eating issues. If you do have questions for them please write them down on the index cards and we are going to save them for the end. Now we are going to move on to our second section of health… the mind When thinking about covering this subject there is so much I could go over. But I thought I would touch base on the one subject that all of you would find most applicable. Emotions…

Emotional Health = Healthy Relationships What was your initial desire when you decided to join a sorority? I want to suggest…from the small amount of knowledge I have gained from my 25 years of life – that emotional health, well-being is found through having healthy relationships in your life – with both men and women, peers and authority, family and friends. Ask Question… repeat back. To feel connected to something – to find friends – to feel a part of something greater than yourself. I think it is is more than just to have good time in college. I joined a sorority because when I came to college I did not find the group of people I thought I would right away that I felt were what I wanted. They were not the people I had a lot in common with. I desired to be around a group of women I could trust – relate to – and feel loved by. The reason why is because that is natural desire in all of us.

“In us all we profoundly long for relationships “In us all we profoundly long for relationships. Each of us fervently wants someone to see us exactly as we are, warts and all and still accept us. Here Larry confirms this – who is a Psychologist. Why do people long for this? Ask – why do you – what is attractive about this.. – it is because we know in our hearts it is where we we will find happiness and satisfaction. Larry Crabb

Bond Bonding is the ability to relate to another at the deepest level. When two people bond they share their deepest thoughts, feelings, dreams - with no fear of being rejected. Bonding is the abilbity to establish an emotional attachment to another person. Without bonded relationship the human soul will become mired in psychological and emotional problems. One cannot prosper without being connected to others. Mired with problems. When I read that I was like – what – but actually when I think about it is true. Who has seen A beautiful mind with Russell Crow. He had the mental illness of psyshofrenia. What words would you use to describe his relationships? (as a pshychophrenic he made up his own relaities – was not in a community with other people) Was not bonded.

When one fails to bond… Depression Meaninglessness Feelings of badness and guilt Addiction (not all cases) Here are some other negatives when one fails to bond.

How to Bond • Realize your need • Be Vulnerable • Move towards others (not just 1 other) • Take Risks. Allow yourself to risk valuing someone emotionally • Allow dependent feelings • Recognize defenses All these things are not easy to do. It means you also have to risk yourself in getting hurt. In all of this list what would be hardest for you to do. I know a lot of women have been concerned about the sisterhood of the sorority…ladies I think the reason why so many women are dissafiliating and no longer wanting to be a part of the chapter is because they have failed to bond with others in the chapter. They have failed to feel a connection to someone that is at the deepest level – because if they did – I am convinced they would stay(even under financial strain). But Bonding is not just a one way street. It is not just their failure - I also believe that that it is because the members of Sigma kappa have failed to bond with them. Sisterhood is about having bonded relationships If you heard friendships and maintaining them are easy…it’s a lie. Esp Friend( wait until you get out of college) Marriage is hard. You definitly will connect with some people more than others. And I am not saying you need to bond with every sister in the sorority. That is unrealistic… (notice the point is move towards others (not just another) Needs to be a few…

How do I know if I am not bonding? Is there a person in my life who is safe that I can show my real self? What has happened in my past that has made me reluctant to acknowledge a need for a friendship? Am I too busy to accept invitations to get to know people? How do I feel when dependent feelings arise – (uncomfortable – do I suppress them – do I embrace the beginnings of a softening heart?)

Conflict Resolution 5. In the future I hope that…. 1. I’ve Noticed… 4. What I want is…. Guarenteed when you bond with others – we are imperfect people – and you are going to get hurt. It is a part of the relational circle. What happens when I get hurt? CONFRONT… 1. Needs to be done out of love – not bitterness. (give people both grace and truth). 3. This makes me feel that…. 2. This makes me think that……

Soul • What have I been raised to believe? • What about that belief do I not agree with? • What is hard about practicing my faith or developing my soul in college? As I talk to many college students, and some of you may have heard me say this before, I find that that the soul is the least developed in college because the spiritual side of life is ignored. I have included some questions you can ask yourself to determine how you can begin thinking about it…. College is one of the most important stages of your life in developing your path of life as a adult. You are free from your parents – not quite having to accept the financial responsibilities of an adult. And you are sent here to Penn State to explore and learn for yourself what you believe as a adult. Fortunately because I am in the full time buisness of soul development…That is my job with Campus Crusade to help college students devleop the spritiutal side of life. And I want to be a resource to all of you in a any way I can. If you are interested in learning more how you can be tapped into the spiritual side of life… I am here…if you want help to confront your friend roomate..I am here. Whatever you need.