Protective Behaviours at St Andrew’s School Information for parents

What is Protective Behaviours? A safety awareness and resilience building programme which helps children and adults to recognise any situation where they feel worried or unsafe, such as feeling stressed, bullied or threatened. Through our lessons we aim to: • inform children of their right to feel safe • develop children’s confidence, self-esteem and resilience • enable children to explore and express different feelings • build skills and tools for feeling and keeping safe • explore how choices of behaviour can affect the feelings of others and have consequences • increase children’s abilities in problem solving and safety planning • encourage children to seek support when needed and know who they can ask for help • empower children to identify their own personal support network • involve the wider community in reinforcing safety messages for children

A word about safety…….. The word safety is used here in its widest sense to include both physical and emotional safety, feeling comfortable, relaxed or secure in your surroundings and self. It is not about a restrictive view of safety, but encourages an adventurous approach to life which includes the need for fun and excitement, and taking on new challenges to help us develop and grow.

The Protective Behaviours Process Unwritten Rules Feelings – Thoughts- Behaviours THEME 1- We all have the right to feel safe all the time THEME 2- We can talk to someone about anything even if it’s awful or small The 7 Protective Behaviours strategies Networks Rights & responsibilities The Safety Continuum Early Warning Signs

Unwritten rules A fundamental human need is to have a sense of belonging and to achieve this we like to ‘fit in’ with our chosen group Whilst some rules are written in laws, others can influence our lives and yet are not actually written down anywhere. These unwritten rules are learned and handed down through society and our culture. They can become internalised and have a powerful effect on feelings thoughts and behaviour. We need some unwritten rules to help guide us in our behaviour and relationships. By using the Protective Behaviours Process and thinking about the unwritten rules in our own lives, we can choose which are best for us,at what time and for what reason.

Unwritten rules that children may be influenced by…. Messages that we get about how we should think, feel and behave • Boys don’t cry • Girls shouldn’t fight • Boys don’t wear skirts • Girls can’t be the boss • Only boys play football • Dolls are for girls • Girls are weak and boys are strong • Girls work harder than boys at school • Girls are better at English, boys are better at maths • It’s ok for boys to hit each other, but not for girls to hit each other • Boys are better at science than girls are

Feelings, Thoughts and Behaviour We can see this BEHAVIOUR BALANCE FEELINGS THOUGHTS We can’t see this

Balance and imbalance We make judgements based on behaviour , because this is what we see. The connection between thought feeling and action are like a three legged stool and a person needs all to maintain balance. FEELINGS + BEHAVIOUR (eg a person who bullies without thinking about the effect it has on the other person) THINKING+ BEHAVIOUR (eg many professionals may be taught to do a lot of thinking and not let feelings interfere with rational decisions) FEELINGS + THINKING ( eg agonising over a decision , lots of feeling and thinking but taking no action). There are times when a person may need to place emphasis on one element, but balance needs to be restored.

THEME 1 “We all have the right to feel safe all the time” This is one of the themes that form the basis of the Protective Behaviours Process Children are taught that with rights come responsibility. While we all have the right to feel safe, but with this comes the responsibility to respect that other people have this right too. A person has a responsibility - FOR their feelings, thoughts and behaviours and actions TO others- in that they are able to respond to the needs and feelings of others in a safe way

The Safety Continuum In our lessons, the Safety Continuum is a way of exploring with children, people and experiences that help them feel safe. What does feeling safe look like, sound like, feel like? When is it ‘Fun to Feel Scared’? We can enjoy the adrenalin rush of roller coasters, scary movies etc. We have made a choice to be there and we are in control. Sometimes we take a ‘Risk on Purpose’. Doing new things that might make us feel anxious or uncomfortable such as performing on stage, yet we recognise that the end results will be beneficial to us. When looking at these type of experiences, we encourage children to develop strategies such as thinking about effects of actions, responsibility to other’s safety and ‘what could I do if….’ Feeling unsafe- when we have our Early Warning Signs and feel we don’t have a choice or control and are not sure how long it is going on for.

Early warning Signs Emotional feelings that are reflected physically and are our body’s way of letting us know when we feel unsafe- butterflies in the stomach, rapid heart beat, sweaty palms. Children are encouraged to recognise their own ‘Uh oh feelings’ so that they can respond accordingly.

THEME 2 “We can talk with someone about anything, even if it is awful or small” One of the most important aspects of Protective Behaviours is helping children to seek support when needed, and children were encouraged to think about their support network. By the end of term every child will have have identified people (parents, teachers, family members, friends) that they felt they could talk to should they need support. This network will be reviewed regularly in the future, thus acting as a regular reminder that they have several people that they can talk to if they are unsure how to react to a situation.

The 7 Strategies of Protective Behaviours Theme Reinforcement- We aim to keep these themes in condtant awareness through visual images, language, role modelling, our lessons, collective worship etc Network review- We encourage children to check their support networks regularly to ensure people are available and suited to our needs Persistence- to keep trying until we feel safe One Step Removed- Using role play, puppets , stories, to check out a situation before we feel unsafe “What if I told you about a friend who…” Protective interruption-any action, word or strategy which interrupts or stops potential or actual unsafe situations. Use of the silver boxes Risking on Purpose The Language of Safety- Choosing language that observes everyone’s right to feel safe, which includes having clarity, ensuring we all understand what is being said, having responsibility for the words used.

Resources We use a wide range of activities to enable the children to explore the full Protective Behaviours Process from story books, role play, games, pictures, short films, drawings and discussion. You may find some of the following websites helpful. http://familiesfeelingsafe.co.uk/resources/recommended-rescources/ http://www.pbpeople.org.uk/protective-behaviours-forum/resources/144- free-downloadable-resources http://www.protectivebehavioursconsortium.co.uk/store/c1/Featured_Produ cts.html

A final word… A People Place Parents, carers and school have an important responsibility to work in partnership and as a community, to ensure that we begin to equip our children with the skills, attitudes and emotional resilience to grow to their full potential. A People Place If this is not a place where tears are understood, Where do I go to cry? If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing, Where do I go to fly? If this is not a place where my questions can be asked, Where do I go to seek? If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard, Where do I go to speak? If this is not a place where you’ll accept me as I am, Where can I go to be? If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow, Where can I be just me?