Self-disclosure and Trust Chapter 2 Self-disclosure and Trust “Trust no one. Not your closest advisors, your spouse, your brother, your God. Trust only yourself, or you will face pain every day of your life.” ~ King Rameses, The Ten Commandments

Chapter Objectives Improve your relationships by sharing your thoughts and feelings. Learn to trust others, especially when trust has been broken. Determine the appropriate amount to disclose to others. Use situational cues to guide self-disclosure and trust. Share your feelings about and reactions to people and situations, in addition to facts. Demonstrate that you are worthy of others’ trust.

What is Self-disclosure? Self-disclosure includes these elements: Feelings as well as facts Greater breadth and depth over time A focus on the present rather than the past Reciprocity Self-disclosure means making the self known to others, letting others know what you think, feel, and want.

What is Self-disclosure? (continued) Self-disclosure is different from self-description. The Internet and computer-mediated communication (CMC), a method to meet new people: Initiate and carry on meaningful conversations Build long terms relationships Raises issues about quantity and quality of online self-disclosure CMC has the potential to be as beneficial as face-to-face (FTF) interactions. Self-description is the disclosure of nonthreatening information such as age, address, major, or organization for which you work.

Benefits of Self-disclosure Sharing with others about ourselves can bring a sense of psychological relief. Disclosing to an appropriate person can help us validate our perceptions of reality. Self-disclosure can help reduce stress and tension. Self-disclosure improves us physiologically. Self-disclosure can result in clearer lines of communication with others. Self-disclosure can lead to strengthened, enhanced relationships.

Benefits of Self-disclosure (continued) Research shows that the more co-workers enjoy working together, the more productive they can be. Self-disclosure can create a trusting environment that is conducive to promoting long-term relationships.

Fears Associated with Self-disclosure Uncertainty about how the information is going to be received and utilized. May be judged harshly by others. Things said in one context might be repeated in an unrelated context. Disclosed information may be revealed to someone else. Willingness to share may be perceived as a weakness or shortcoming.

Some Guidelines for Self-disclosure Discuss situations as they happen. Choose the appropriate time and place. Choose the appropriate level of disclosure. Share your current feelings to create an emotional connection with others and invite understanding.

The Role of Self-disclosure in Increasing Self-awareness It is important to be honest with ourselves about our strengths and weaknesses. Personal and professional relationships can be greatly improved through understanding ourselves in depth and then selecting those aspects of self that are appropriate to share with others. The more we share of ourselves with others, the more we can develop high-quality relationships.

The Johari Window

The Johari Window The open area consists of information about us that both we and others know. The hidden area comprises information that we know about ourselves but that is hidden from others. The blind area denotes information that others are aware of but we are not. The unknown area contains information that neither we nor others know.

What is Trust? Five elements of trust: Integrity Competence Consistency Loyalty Openness Trust is a multifaceted concept that captures one’s faith or belief in the integrity or reliability of another person or thing.

Five Elements of Trust

Personal Trust Builders Follow through on promises and commitments made Do not reveal confidences told to you in private Avoid participating in unnecessary gossip Do not make self-flattering or boasting statements about your capabilities Develop a reputation for loyalty Be consistent Be realistic Develop personal competence Gain a reputation for honesty and truthfulness Make sure your actions are consistent with your spoken words

Riskiness of Trust The person who places trust in an individual must rely on that person to treat the information that was given as confidential. The truster cannot monitor or control the other party. Individuals may overestimate the influence of internal factors on the behavior of others.

The Role of Trust in Organizations Trust is essential in the work environment. Trust impacts the effectiveness of internal and external communication. Trust influences the actions of organizational stakeholders.

Impact of Trust Individual impact Organizational impact Binds leaders and followers Communication and action must be consistent to build trust Organizational impact Corporate scandals have led to distrust in corporate America Leaders must prove they are trustworthy

Organizational Trust Builders Depth of relationships Understanding of roles and responsibilities Frequent, timely, and forthright communication Member self-esteem and self-awareness High levels of skill competence Clarity of shared purpose, direction, and vision Honoring promises and commitments

Ten Managerial Tips for Developing Trust Practice what you preach Open lines of communication Accept disagreements, differences of opinion, and conflict Keep confidential information confidential Let others know what you stand for and what you value Create an open environment Maintain a high level of integrity and honesty

Ten Managerial Tips for Developing Trust (continued) Know yourself and how others perceive you and your actions Build credibility with others by being consistent and reliable Avoid micromanaging

A Note of Caution Trust is not a right; it is earned Trust is person-dependent Trust is situation-dependent Trust is earned over time Trust is fragile Trust should be valued and fostered in your personal and professional relationships

Summary Self-disclosure and trust are two mutually reinforcing skills that can serve to deepen and improve personal and professional relationships. There are fears and risks associated with disclosure; however, knowing what, when, and how to disclose can lessen the fears and risks. By letting others know you, you pave the way for them to develop trust in you. The mutually reinforcing nature of disclosure and trust forms the basis of healthy personal and professional relationships.