Bell Ringer: What is anger? Date: Finish this sentence with a description of anger. Anger is ______________________________________________.

Coping with Anger Unit Goals and Objectives In this unit students will: Define anger Identify levels of anger Review the physical symptoms of anger Discuss common situations that produce anger Discuss reasons for keeping anger under control Review techniques for controlling anger Practice techniques for controlling anger

Anger and fear (Fight or Flight) Anger and fear are two of humanity’s most basic emotions. Fear usually makes people want to run away, often at great cost to themselves. Anger makes people want to fight back, often at great cost to themselves, others and society as a whole. This unit reviews reasons for keeping anger under control and reviews four techniques—the warning light, counting to ten, self-statements, and reframing—for us to practice.

Anger is …. Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure with someone or something, combined with an urge to fight back. How do you feel physically when you are angry?

Anger Anger is a normal emotion, and by itself it’s neither good nor bad. It’s a natural reaction to being threatened or under attack Expressing anger may sometimes be healthy, but losing control is not. Like anxiety, anger produces physical changes, such as increased heart rate, right muscles, and a rush of blood to the head.

Anger Producing Situations Being teased Receiving a mean text message Being insulted Being stood up Jealousy Having possessions taken or broken Insults to family or family Being talked about in person or online

Anger Producing Situations Anger Diary Choose one, two, or three chili peppers based on how angry recent situations make you feel. (1 = mild) (2=medium) (3= hot) Situation 1 Situation 2 Situation 3 Date: Situation: People involved: Why I was angry: What I felt: What I said or did:

Anger People become angry when they lose or can’t get something they feel is important, which may be anything from personal belongings to respect. The feeling of anger can range from annoyance and mild irritation to rage. The level of anger depends on the situation and the person. Some people don’t recognize their own anger, but experience it instead as sadness or anxiety.

Anger—Keep it in or let it out? Someone, some way, somehow has gone too far and now you are mad. Furious! Your heart pumps. Screams and insults form at the back of your throat. Your hands close into fists. What do you do? Keep it in or let it out? It’s your choice. List reasons for each decision: Reasons to keep it in. Reasons to Let Anger Out.

Both choices—unleashing anger and controlling it—have consequences Both choices—unleashing anger and controlling it—have consequences. It’s important to be aware of what they are. Possible results of losing control range from hurt feelings and misunderstandings to broken friendships, physical violence, pain, suffering, and trouble with the law. It’s usually easier for people to get what they want when they stay in control.

Techniques for Controlling Anger What methods do you use to control your anger? The Warning Light Picture a light inside your head. Imagine that it flashes a warning when you need to stop and think before speaking or acting. 2. Remember to check your light whenever you are in a situation that is making you angry.

Counting-to-Ten (or higher) Technique 1. Take a deep breath and start counting slowly to yourself. (This only works if the other person isn’t aware of the silent counting.) 2. Keep listening to the other person as you count. Don’t provoke him or her by revealing what you are doing. 3. Look the other person in the eye.

Self-Statements Technique Procedure: Sometimes just telling yourself not to get angry can help keep you calm. Here are some examples of effective self-statements. This is not worth fighting about. I can resolve this without fighting. I can handle this. I can stay calm. I can control my reactions. I can . . .

Handling anger in a positive way. People tend to believe what they tell themselves. If we tell ourselves we’re angry, then we will be. If we tell ourselves we’re in control, then there’s a good chance that’s how we’ll feel and act.

Reframing: changing the way one thinks about a situation. It is possible to control anger by reframing some situations so they no longer seem like threats or attacks. Ask yourself these questions: Is this worth getting angry about? Am I sure this person is really out to hurt or insult me? Is there another way to get what I want? Sometimes the things that make us angry happen by accident and have nothing to do with us personally. Changing our view of a situation can change our reaction to it.

Examples of reframing This is frustrating, but there’s nothing I can do to change where I am. Let me think about how I can make this fun (or how I can manage my stress). I wish that person had stopped to help, but since they didn’t, I bet they were in a hurry and didn’t even notice.

Summary It’s normal for people to get angry when they feel threatened. Since expressing anger can have negative consequences, it’s usually better to stay in control. It’s possible for people to learn how to be cool, calm, and in control by practicing techniques that encourage them to stop and think before they act.