VIOLENCE & RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

How it Starts and What We Can Do to Stop and Prevent It DATING VIOLENCE How it Starts and What We Can Do to Stop and Prevent It WHAT IS LOVE?

Dating Violence Dating violence occurs when one partner in a dating relationship, either past or current, intentionally uses physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse to harm, threaten, intimidate, or control the other partner.

Examples Physical or sexual assaults Name-calling, put-downs Threats to hurt the student or the student’s family Destroying property Threats to commit suicide or homicide if the victim ends the relationship Isolating the student from friends and family Extreme jealousy and possessive behavior Stalking, or having others engage in these behaviors

Impact on Health Victims experience higher rates of Substance abuse, unhealthy weight control behaviors, & suicide Sexual coercion, sexual risk behaviors; STI’s and unwanted pregnancies

What Do These Behaviors Have in Common? Bullying Harassment Dating Violence Sexual Assault

Bullying Aggressive behavior Intended to hurt, control, intimidate or humiliate Usually escalates over time By someone who has more power than the targeted person

Sexual Harassment Unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable, offends you, hurts your reputation, frightens or threatens you and interferes with your ability to get an education or participate in school activities Sexual harassment: Is defined by the target Is a violation of school rules, state and federal law 81% of students experience some form of sexual harassment during their school lives and 27% experience it often

Examples Sexual advances Touching intimate body parts or coercing physical contact that is sexual in nature Jokes or conversations of a sexual nature Other sexually motivated conduct, communications, or contact

When does flirting become sexual harassment? Flirting is welcome attention. Sexual harassment is not wanted. Flirting goes both ways. Sexual harassment is one-sided. Flirting makes you feel in control. Sexual harassment makes you feel put down or ugly. Flirting makes you feel good about yourself. Sexual harassment makes you feel powerless. Flirting is legal in school. Sexual harassment is a violation of school rules.

Relationship Violence Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) teens that have been in a dating relationship experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, or threats of physical harm to a partner or self. 1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, or physically hurt by a partner. 45% of teen girls know someone who has been pressured or forced into having intercourse or oral sex ***VIDEO*** Dating Violence Click picture

WHAT IS TEEN DATING ABUSE? A pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive or controlling behavior in a dating relationship. ***VIDEO*** Love is Not Abuse Click Stop Sign

WHAT IS PHYSICAL ABUSE Any unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or a bruise. Slapping Spitting Biting Scratching Pinching Using a weapon Pushing Physical Restraint Kicking Shoving Pulling Hair Burning Strangling Punching Choking

Threatening to commit suicide VERBAL / EMOTIONAL ABUSE Saying or doing something to another person that causes that person to be afraid and/or have lower self-esteem. Trying to manipulate or control another person’s feelings or behaviors. This can include online posts or digital communications designed to threaten, harass, or embarrass. Making unwanted comments or sending unwanted messages of sexual nature to the person. Threatening to commit suicide Insulting the person or his/her family or friends Embarrassing the person in front of others Telling the person what to do Intimidating the person Stalking Spreading negative rumors about the person Name Calling Making racial, ethnic, or religious slurs about the person he/she care for Yelling or Screaming Making the person feel guilty Put Downs

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE Tension Building: PHASE 1: Things start to get tense between the two people. In this phase: The two people argue a lot. • The abuser yells at the target for no reason. • The abuser makes false accusations about the target. • The target feels that she or he can’t do anything right. • The atmosphere is tense, as if things could blow up at any moment. In many abusive dating relationships, the physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse is not a one-time incident. It usually happens again and again.

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE Explosion: PHASE 2: The tension is released in a burst of physical, sexual and/or verbal/emotional abuse. The abuser may: • Scream and yell in a way that is frightening and/or humiliating. • Hit, grab, shove, kick, slam the other person against the wall, etc. • Throw objects. • Threaten to hurt the other person or someone he or she cares about. • Rape the other person or force him or her to go further sexually than he or she wants to.

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE PHASE 3: Honeymoon: The abuser tries to make the target stay in the relationship by apologizing and/or shifting the blame for the abuse onto someone or something else. The abuser may: • Apologize and promise that the abuse will never happen again. • Say “I love you.” • Buy the other person flowers or gifts. • Accuse the other person of doing something to cause the abuse. • Blame the abuse on other things such as alcohol, drugs or stress.

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE THE CYCLE CONTINUES…. OVER and OVER AGAIN!!! After the honeymoon phase: The tension starts to build again, leading to another explosion. Over time, the honeymoon phase may get shorter or even disappear, and the explosions may become more violent and dangerous. Some targets of dating abuse never experience the honeymoon phase—just the tension building and explosion phases. These phases do not happen in every abusive relationship. Someone may be experiencing dating abuse even if this pattern is not present THE CYCLE CONTINUES…. OVER and OVER AGAIN!!!

What is Sexting? Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones.

Things to know about SEXTING THINK before you hit SEND! Images sent by mobile phone can easily fall into the wrong hands, and once posted online, may never really go away. Others may copy and post your images in other places online where friends, parents, teachers can see them. Sexting can lead to public humiliation, cyber-bullying or even sexual assault. It is illegal to take sexual photos of minors, and it is also a crime to pass them on. THINK before you hit SEND!