MEDIATION

What is your conflict style? How do you resolve conflicts? Are you aggressive (my way of the highway) Compromising (let’s work it out) Appeasing (let’s do what you want?) Does it depend? Explain.

Conflict Styles Collaboration Competing/Aggressive Avoiding Harmonizing Compromising

Caring About Relationships

Check out your conflict style! Fill out the form to find out your conflict style! Were you surprised by your conflict style? Why or why not?

Mediation between Grendel, Beowulf, and Hrothgar Imagine that Grendel, Beowulf, and Hrothgar were able to sit down and talk about their differences. What would they say to one another? Could they work it out? Would the end result be violence no matter what, or could it be avoided? Vote! We will do a mediation activity to find out.

Mediation “Mediation is a way to resolve a conflict that involves 2 or more disputants (people having a conflict) and 2 mediators who help the disputants resolve conflict by asking questions. Mediators help the disputants come up with their own solutions using a 6 step process that allows everyone to tell their story and actively listen to the other story. Mediation works for many people (not all) because the disputants create their own solutions.”

Mediation You will be assigned to a group. Make sure you learn all that you can about your character. Look at the text. What has your character thought, said, and done up until this point? What plans have the characters made, if any? What is their conflict style? You will be in groups. You will be given sheets of paper to write your thoughts on about your character. 1.Team Hrothgar 2.Team Grendel 3.Team Beowulf Have fun!

Mediation between Hrothgar, Beowulf, & Grendel Hrothgar ll , 44-49, 60-67, , Beowulf , , , Grendel ll. 1-6, 16-40, 50-60, 67-85

Mediation: The Process in a Fishbowl I will need 5 volunteers from our groups. 1.1 volunteer from Hrothgar’s team 2.1 volunteer from Beowulf’s team 3.1 volunteer from Grendel’s team 4.2 mediators

Before Step 2: Listening as a Class Activity Defining How to Actively Listen PLANNING ON YOUR SHEETS OF PAPER Describe your best listening behaviors. Describe times when you could tell that someone was listening to you or not listening to you. Talk about characteristics of active listening as the discussion develops—making sure that the following characteristics are highlighted as the definition of active listening. THINGS TO DO IN MEDIATION FOR MEDIATORS Listen carefully without interruption Look at the person who is talking Keep eye contact if possible and appropriate Smile when appropriate Ask questions Take notes if needed to help the review and restating process

Step 1 Mediation: The Beginning Mediator One: Welcome to mediation. I’m __________and this is_______________. We are both trained mediators. We are trained to listen, stay neutral, and help clarify the problem. We do not take sides or make decisions for anyone. We keep all information confidential, unless you choose to tell us that you are planning to harm yourself or someone else. In that case, we will discuss getting further help. Again, we are neutral, sworn to confidentiality and committed to helping people peacefully resolve problems. Please listen carefully. Each person has an uninterrupted period of time to speak after which we will restate his/her message. Do you have any questions?

Step 2: Telling Stories Mediators engage in active listening as the stories are told. Process: 1.Mediators ask one of the disputants to tell their story: “Can you tell us the story about what happened and how you feel about it? We will listen without interrupting.” 2.After disputant 1 tells their story, student mediators practice restating Ask clarifying questions To the 1st disputant: 1) “Is there anything else that happened before.....?” “Can you tell me more about......?”” 2) “So, am right if I say that you feel the problem is......and you’re concern is ? 3.Repeat Steps with Disputant number 2 & 3

Clarifying Questions Fact Questions: Can you tell me more about ? Will you please help us understand ? What do you mean by ? How have you responded to this conflict? Feeling questions: How did you feel about that? What is the impact of this conflict on your life? Interest questions: Can you explain what bothers you about this situation? Can you explain how this is important? Has anything worked in the past?” Remember to make a list of facts, interests, feelings and problems that need to be resolved or addressed as disputants answer and explain and repeat all questions with each disputant.

Step 3: Reviewing and Restating Mediator asks, “Do you both agree that we have all the facts? We need to determine that we have a clear understanding of each person‘s perspective. This does not mean that you have to agree with one another” The mediators restate what Disputant 1 has told us about the situation so far and how he/she is feeling about it. To Disputant 1: “Do you feel that we understand what you said and summarized the important points accurately? If not, what important point would you like to repeat or clarify?” Mediators repeat the process for Disputant 2 and 3. Finally, the mediators try to restate and reframe the two points of view by highlighting any common ground: “You all felt insulted and left out; you are both anxious to resolve this.” This step in the restating process allows mediators to begin to reframe the problems a mutual problem to be solved by both mediators in a win-win process.

Solutions The mediator: “Let’s start by getting a few ideas of what each of you needs and what you think might be fair” Ask disputants to think of any idea that occurs to them. “Can you describe the best possible outcome of this session?” “What changes would you both like to see happen?” QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER: “What would you be willing to do to solve the situation?” “What would make this situation better?” “What might keep this from happening again?” “What could we do differently?”

Mediation: The Conclusion and Agreement (if we can get there) "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Maria Robinson MEDIATION AGREEMENT Summary of the conflict:________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ We agree to:_____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Disputant 1 Signature ______________________ Disputant 2 Signature_______________________ Disputant 3 Signature_______________________ Mediator 1 Signature_______________________ Mediator 2 Signature_______________________

HOW MIGHT YOU USE MEDIATION IN YOUR OWN LIFE? Write about it! Write at least 3 sentences.

Gardner and Grendel Excerpt

JUST ONE TAKE This is just one take on the life of Grendel. That said, did your opinion of him change a little? Why or why not?