Engagement What is the purpose of the engagement period?

Engagement Engagement is the final stage in the dating process. A person either gives or receives a ring to identify this commitment to marriage. The engagement period is a time for a couple to take an honest look at their relationship. The engagement period provides time for a couple to discuss important issues as they continue to develop their relationship.

Planning for Married Life Many decisions must be made as a couple plans for their marriage. Some things the couple will need to discuss are: Role expectations - Roles describe patterns for daily living. - Some common roles for a spouse include friend, lover, earner, housekeeper, and cook. - The expectations you have for your spouse are strongly influenced by the roles your parents took in the family. - It is important that a couple shares their expectations before marriage.

Planning for Married Life Dividing Roles - Complementary roles – each person takes on a role that supplies what the other person lacks. - Role sharing – the couple works together to carry out the tasks.

Planning for Married Life Planning Finances - Discussing future incomes and expenses is important for an engaged couple. - Financial problems can become a major area of conflict during the early years of marriage. - A couple will find it helpful to develop a budget.

Planning for Married Life Planning for Housing Needs - A couple’s choice of housing will depend on the money they have to spend. - Arrangements for a place to live should be made before the wedding.

Planning for Married Life Planning for Career Goals - As couples plan for a future, they need to discuss their career goals. - Each person’s career will affect family life. - Work schedules will affect the way roles in the home are shared or divided.

Planning for Married Life Planning Your Relationship with Family - It is important to discuss both family and friends. - There will be new joint friendships. - Couples will also need to decide when and how much time to spend with their families.

Premarital Counseling Often couples consult a religious leader of the person who will be performing the marriage ceremony. Couples may also talk to a marriage counselor or marriage educator. It will be determined during premarital counseling how well a couple knows one another. The couple’s expectations will be discussed. The couple will set goals. Most marriage counselors recommend an engagement period of six months to two years.

Breaking an Engagement Some couples may discover they are not ready for marriage. If either partner doubts whether the relationship will be successful, it would be wise for the couple to break the engagement. Ending the relationship will be hard, but a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.