POOR EXAMPLE OF INTRO: › Success can begin with failure because of John Proctor from the Crucible, myself when I was a freshman, and Babe Ruth. GOOD EXAMPLE OF INTRO:  The word failure usually has a negative connotation, but failure is not always a bad thing. In fact, learning the lessons taught by failure can be a sure route to success. By failing, we have an opportunity to see our mistakes and can correct them later. Failing also allows us to be humble and reminds us we’re human. And finally, failure is just a side effect of challenging ourselves. When we push ourselves to the next level, we will undoubtedly fail the first time or two, but in order to succeed, we must pick ourselves back up and try again. Prompt: What is your view on the idea that success can begin with failure?

 #1: No hook  #2: Lists examples instead of reasons  #3: Examples are not all from history, literature, or current events.  #4: Too short, need to elaborate more.

 First Sentence – General Statement › Do not start your essay with your thesis statement. Instead, begin with a hook. Something that grabs the reader’s attention. › For example: Education is a complex process. › Make that first sentence pop by using higher- level vocab if you can, and don’t make it overly complicated. (instead of using the word “hard,” this student used the word “complex”)

 Second Sentence – Refine the First Sentence › Clear things up for the reader and explain what you mean. Don’t leave them wondering what you’re talking about. › Example: Education is a complex process. Over the course of a student’s studies, he’ll inevitably spend time working both alone and with his teachers. › Notice how that more specified sentence clears things up for the reader. Now the reader knows what you’re talking about.

 Third Sentence – Thesis Statement › A thesis statement simply tells the reader what your paper will be about. Remember, you MUST pick a side. If you’re not sure how to write a thesis statement, simply turn the question into a statement and declare your side. › Prompt: Are students more successful when they work by themselves or with teachers? › Example thesis: Students are more successful when they work by themselves.

 Thesis: › Do not say…  I think students are more successful…  Yes, students are more successful…  Are students more successful? Example: Education is a complex process. Over the course of a student’s studies, he’ll inevitably spend time working both alone and with his teachers. However, students are more successful when they work by themselves. (don’t forget to add a transition word between your hook and your thesis statement.)

 Fourth Sentence – Give Reasons › You need three reasons…not to be confused with examples. Reasons are more general and broad where examples are very specific. We will talk more about reasons vs. examples later. › Try not to just list your reasons. Instead, use transition words to help fit them into the paragraph. › Example: Doing so fosters creativity and cements the skills in students’ minds. It also gives students a sense of accomplishment and ownership.

Education is a complex process. Over the course of a student’s studies, he’ll inevitably spend time working both alone and with his teachers. However, students are more successful when they work by themselves. Doing so fosters creativity and cements the skills in students’ minds. It also gives students a sense of accomplishment and ownership.

 Now that we’ve gone over the steps, let’s look at the first example one more time.  The word failure usually has a negative connotation, but failure is not always a bad thing. In fact, learning the lessons taught by failure can be a sure route to success. By failing, we have an opportunity to see our mistakes and can correct them later. Failing also allows us to be humble and reminds us we’re human. And finally, failure is just a side effect of challenging ourselves. When we push ourselves to the next level, we will undoubtedly fail the first time or two, but in order to succeed, we must pick ourselves back up and try again.  Can you identify each step in this introduction?