Respecting Others How to Deal with Relational Aggression

What is Respect? The acknowledgement that someone or something has value; to value that person's ideas, feelings, space, or privacy. The Golden Rule – Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.

How To Show Respect For Others Don't insult people or make fun of them. Listen to others when they speak. Value other people's opinions. Be considerate of people's likes and dislikes. Don't mock or tease people. Don't talk about people behind their backs. Be sensitive to other people's feelings. Don't pressure someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do.

How To Respect Others Who Are Different From Us Try to learn something from the other person. Never stereotype people. Show interest and appreciation for other people's cultures and backgrounds. Don't go along with prejudices and racist attitudes.

When We Don’t Respect Others… It can turn into that buzz word we all love… BULLYING! Also better known as Relational Aggression.

Bullying Defined When someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself

Three Components of Bullying It is a form of aggression It is a repeated behavior There is an imbalance of power or strength

Bullying Defined - Continued Imbalance of power can be physical, emotional, verbal, and social and makes it difficult for youth to defend themselves. Things that influence how much power a person has – social status, gender, race, religion, abilities, money, real or perceived sexual orientation, etc.

Bullying vs. Teasing and Fighting Teasing is when two or more people who are usually friends push, chase, or joke in a playful manner. Fighting is when two people who may or may not be friends show some type of negative, aggressive behavior with the desire to inflict injury or discomfort.

Bullying vs. Fighting Fighting is a CONFLICT. Bullying is a form of VICTIMAZATION

Types of Relational Aggression - Physical Hitting Pushing Shoving Slapping Kicking Spitting Hair pulling, scratching, biting Stealing of property

Types of Relational Aggression -Verbal Calling names Teasing hurtfully Insulting Humiliating Threatening

Types of Relational Aggression - Social Excluding from a group Being made to look dumb by someone Gossiping about someone Spreading rumors

Types of Relational Aggression - Electronic All of the above – via – via phone text messages or pictures – via social media such as Facebook

Where Can Relational Aggression Happen? Hallways Classrooms School bus Gym and locker rooms Restrooms Lunch room Off school property

When Can Relational Aggression Happen? Before school After school In between classes During class At practices On school trips

Effects of Relational Aggression – Those Who are Bullied Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood. Health complaints Decreased academic achievement—GPA and standardized test scores—and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. A small number may attempt to retaliate. Some commit suicide. (Show clip)

Effects of Relational Aggression – Those Who Bully Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school Engage in early sexual activity Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults

Effects of Relational Aggression – Those Who Are Witnesses Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety Miss or skip school

How To Stop Relational Aggression Stop and think before you say something that might be hurtful to someone Refrain from spreading rumors whether you think it’s true or not Keep in mind that everyone is different. No better or worse - just different. If you think you have hurt someone in the past – apologize and mean it.

How To Stop Relational Aggression – If You Are On The Receiving End Look at the person and in a calm, clear voice, ask the person to stop. Laugh it off. This can catch the person off- guard. This works best if joking is easy for you. If speaking up does not seem safe, walk away and stay away.

How To Stop Relational Aggression – If You Are On The Receiving End Gather friends around you who will support you and help you stand up to the person being aggressive. Stay where other kids and adults are – relational aggression often happens where there are no adults around. Avoid being alone with the aggressor. Ask an adult for help. They can often help you make a plan.

How To Stop Relational Aggression – If You Are On The Receiving End Do Not Bully Back! That’s when it stops being bullying and becomes fighting. That’s when you can get into trouble too. Two wrongs don’t make it right.

How To Stop Relational Aggression – If You Are A Witness Decide if it is safe to step in and step up and do so if it is. If it is not safe, involve the closest adult or an adult that you trust. Adults need to know when relational aggression happens so they can help. Be kind to the student receiving the behavior.

How Can I Be Kind To Them? Talk to them at school. Invite them to sit with you at lunch or on the bus. Invite them to do something. Let them know you care. Do this, especially with new students.

A Word on Cyberbullying – i.e. Electronic Relational Aggression Why do kids do it? – Tied into your entertainment devices – Freedom to use devices – Immediate release of frustration and anger without the ability to see the effects – Cannot see or hear the effects on the receiving person

A Word on Cyberbullying – i.e. Electronic Relational Aggression Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being kind to others online will help to keep you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt or embarrass anyone. Keep your password a secret from other kids. Even kids that seem like friends could give your password away or use it in ways you don’t want. Let your parents have your passwords.

A Word on Cyberbullying – i.e. Electronic Relational Aggression Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what. Keep your parents in the loop. Tell them what you’re doing online and who you’re doing it with. Let them friend or follow you. Listen to what they have to say about what is and isn’t okay to do. They care about you and want you to be safe.

A Word on Cyberbullying – i.e. Electronic Relational Aggression Talk to an adult you trust about any messages you get or things you see online that make you sad or scared. If it is cyberbullying, report it.report it

Snitching/Tattling vs. Reporting/Telling Worried about being thought of as snitch? Snitching is done to get others in trouble. Snitching hopes to create a problem for someone else. Reporting is done to get help, to take care of yourself or someone else. Reporting tries to solve a problem.