Today, we are talking about bullying. We need everyone at our school to work together to make this school a safe and respectful place. Everyone must take part in making it happen. We all—adults and students— must share this responsibility and help each other. We must all learn to RESPECT each other. What is respect?

 When another kid tries to hurt or scare you.” (Physical bullying; intimidation)  “When someone says bad stuff about you behind your back.” (Relational bullying)  “When someone calls you names or makes fun of you.” (Emotional abuse)  “When kids leave you out.” (Shunning)  “When kids gang up on you and try to make you give them your money or your stuff.” (Extortion) Now let us define, WHAT IS BULLYING!

“When someone copies you in a way that makes you look dumb.” (Mimicking)  “When other people say or do things to bother you over and over on purpose.” (Harassment)  “When someone tries to make you do something that will get you into trouble.” (Coercion) “When someone tries to use their power to make you feel bad.” (Bullying)

Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a bullying situation. How did you feel when you watched it? People who see a bullying situation are called bystanders. The definition of bystander is “anyone who knows that bullying is happening.” So Let’s Talk About Bullying

CASE STUDY: A new study finds that victims may suffer long-lasting academic effects, and high-achieving black and Latino students are especially vulnerable. The sociologists found that the grade point average of all students who were bullied in 10th grade dropped slightly by 12th grade. By their senior year, black students who had a 3.5 grade point average, on a scale of 0 to 4, as freshmen, lost almost one-third of a point if they had been bullied. The result was more pronounced for Latino victims of bullying: They lost half a point. That compares with a loss of less than one-tenth of a point for white students who had undergone such harassment, the researchers found. One reason minority students seemed to suffer larger academic aftereffects, Ms. Williams said, could stem from some of the stereotypes about minority students, including that they are tough or street smart, compared to their peers from other racial and ethnic groups.

Tips for Deal with Being Bullied Walking with Awareness, Calm, and Confidence People are less likely to be picked on if they walk and sit with awareness, calm and confidence. Awareness, calm and confidence means keeping one's head up, back straight, taking assertive steps, looking around, having a peaceful face and body, and moving away from people who might cause trouble. There is a difference between being passive, aggressive and assertive in body language, tone of voice and choice of words. 3 volunteers

Leaving in a Powerful, Positive Way The best self-defense tactic is called "target denial," which means "don't be there." Think about some mean things that can be considered insulting or upsetting. Understand that it can be different for different people, times, and places. Veer around the bully in order to move out of reach. Leave with awareness, calm and confidence, glancing back to see where the bully is. Practice saying something neutral in a normal tone of voice like "See you later!" or "Have a nice day!" while calmly and confidently moving away.

Using Your Voice Practice pulling away and yelling NO! really loudly. Practice saying "STOP! I don't like that!" Practice looking the bully in the eyes and speaking in a firm voice Then leave and go to an adult for help.

Respect differences. Everyone has differences. Just look around you. When you value and respect differences, you let the bully know that being different doesn’t bother you a bit. In fact, you like it! If a bully makes fun of your red hair or hearing aid or how you talk, just smile and agree. “Yes, I do have red hair.” “Yes, I do use a hearing aid.” “Yes, I do stutter.” Then walk away!

Don’t react. Kids who bully want you to be upset. They’re counting on it. So don’t give them what they want! Even if you feel scared or upset, try not to show it. Crying, showing fear, or acting mad encourages the bully to pick on you again. If a bully calls you names in gym class, do something unexpected. Yawn. Laugh. Walk away.

What happens when bystanders just watch bullying? Why would they be part of the problem? Imagine you are being excluded and made fun of. Several students are watching without saying anything. What would you think and feel? What might the person who is bullying think if people are watching but not saying anything. Serious or Seriously Let’s Talk Some More:

"It provides these kids with a sense of power," said Catherine Bradshaw, a developmental psychologist who studies bullying at the Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore. "It's a way of pulling your core group closer and putting someone else out of it." The simple reason is it shows that they have power over others," agreed Marlene Snyder, Development Director for the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program in the United States, based in Clemson, S.C. Why do people bully?

"The reason that they do it repeatedly is that they are getting away with it. Nobody is calling them on their bad behavior. When they aren't called on it they think, 'Well, it must be O.K.' This power brings popularity and high social status for bullies, Bradshaw said. "But they're also perceived as disliked." Evidence has shown that bullies often suffer from social and emotional problems, she added. At the same time, "one of the big myths is that bullies bully because they feel bad about themselves," Snyder said. "The research consistently shows that they have average or above average self-esteem."

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Conclusion: What’s the most important thing to remember from today’s lesson? Imagine that you are a bystander to a bullying situation on the playground. What can you do to be part of the solution?