LESSON 10 PARENT AND SURROGATE PARENT AUTORITIES PATTERNS AND THEIR RESULTS Under Construction

Type of Surrogate Parental Role, Basis for Authority and Control, and Strategy What is the ‘standing’ of Parents in each others eyes, in the eyes of other parents and with other relevant adults and extended family in the child’s environment? Who has the role of Control and who has the role of disciplinarian? functions of parents and parent figures. What does each parent define as the reason for child to obey them? How does each parent describe the source of their power or authority? How do they defend their right to exercise authority? Do the Parents rely upon alliances with outsiders for support for their position, and control and disciplinary actions and strategies. Do the Parents divide up the domains that are subject to their control and domains that are exempted from their control? Are the Parents threats for enforcing control and threats for discipline different from their demonstrated strategies of control and discipline? What are choice of types of consequences used by each Parents? Do they use material or psychological rewards and costs? Do they use restrictions from preferred activities? Do they use time permitted and/or time prohibited for preferred activities? Do the use granting or withholding privileges or imposing duties or exempting from duties as consequences? What is the Parent’s style or manner of administering control and discipline? Are the Parents more focused on the teen’s growth or on their gaining the teen’s obedience? Are the Parents more oriented to controlling the performance of tasks or not engaging in prohibited activities? Perception of authority among parents and relevant present adults. Perception of parental figures in terms of behavior to be expected from each. Understanding of reasons for obedience and conditions under which obedience is obligatory versus contingent. Perception of alliances and actual sources of support and learning the art of leverage. Perception of domains legitimately evoking reflex obedience, optional domains, and domains of complete self determination. Differentiation of strategies with consequence versus gestures with no consequence. Perception of and evaluation of relative values attained through defiance versus costs in terms of parental choice of type consequences. Perception of parents’ ‘ child’ versus ‘ obedience’ orientation and cognitive orientation to parents’ communications. Parent Role, Basis, and Strategy Teen’s Cognitive-Behavioral Learning

Parental Control Style Versus Child’s Compliance Behavior: CYCLICAL SCENARIOS Current or Anticipated Situation Requiring Command or Prohibition SITUATION : _________ Level of Parental Command or Prohibition Given Level or Quality of Child’s Performance of Command or Abstinence from Prohibition Level of Parental Reaction to Child’s Performance Parental Residual Feelings After Completion of Scenario Child’s Residual Feelings after Completion of Scenario Anticipation of Next Situation Involving Commands or Prohibition 1. Commands And Prohibitions: 1. Harsh 2. Abrupt 3. Peremptory 4. Moderately Peremptory 5. Pressure 6. Mild Pressure 7. Influence 8. Strong Suggestion 9. Moderate Suggestion 10. Mile Suggestion 11. Strong Request But Permissive 12. Moderate Request 13. Mild Request 14. Polite Request 15. Ultra Polite Request 2. Compliance- Defiance : 1. Explosive Defiance 2. Hostile Argumentative 3. Annoying Debate 4. Manipulative Non- compliance 5. Rationalizing Non- compliance 6. Protesting Unfairness 7. Objecting Due to Distaste 8. Negotiating Delay 9. Proclaiming Dependability 10. Conformity 11. Indicating Willingness 12. Indicating Pride in Compliance 13. Expressing Strong Interest 14. Extreme Enthusiasm 15. Expressing Honor and Pleasure to Serve Level of Child’s Complianc e-Defiance Response Negotiating mutually equitable agreement

Parental Style of Reacting to the Child’s Quality of Performance Current or Anticipated Situation Requiring Command or Prohibition SITUATION : ___________ Level of Parental Command or Prohibition Given Level or Quality of Child’s Performance of Command or Abstinence from Prohibition Level of Parental Reaction to Child’s Performance 5. Parental Residual Feelings After Completion of Scenario 5. Child’s Residual Feelings after Completion of Scenario 6. Anticipation of Next Situation Involving Commands or Prohibition Level of Child’s Complianc e-Defiance Response 3. Performance: 1. Far Exceeding Expectations 2. Superior Work 3. Above Average 4. Exactly Meeting Expectations 5. Average 6. Below Average 7. Inferior 8. Neglect 9. Intentional Sabotage 10. Violent Destructive Defiance 4. Reactions: Approval 1__2__3 Passive Approval 4__5__6 Neutral 7__8__9 Passive Disapproval 10__11__12 Disapproval 13__14__15 Hi Lo Hi Lo Parental stance is objective-non- judgmental evaluation, listening, forgiving, exploring alternatives with child, correcting, positive respect for child’s opinions and suggestions, expressing unconditional love, negotiating for next occasion.