1. BUSINESS COMMUNICATION REVISING BUSINESS MESSAGES REVISING BUSINESS MESSAGES By Mustafa Mustafa MBA EXE HIMS

2. Objectives Why Revision and Proof Reading Required. Why Revision and Proof Reading Required. Revision Techniques. Revision Techniques. Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness. Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness. Proof Reading. Proof Reading. Proof Reading Normal & Complex Documents. Proof Reading Normal & Complex Documents. Fog Index. Fog Index.

3. Why should we Revise and Proofread our documents? Why should we Revise and Proofread our documents? Unfortunately, your essay earned a C even though you are capable of A work. I can’t Understand your message, it has many confusing words. I have to use Dictionary I had a lot of trouble reading your essay. You make good points, but your writing has too many sloppy errors. Sorry! I know I should have proofread my work before I handed it in. To be honest, I waited until the last minute. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice my mistakes.

4. Your reader may focus on your mistakes and may ignore your overall point. Fragment Pronoun Case Article Parallel Structure Wrong Verb Spelling Errors Capitalization Error Missing Word

5. Look at the word “revision” again. What do you see? R E - V I S I O N Time to “look again” at your piece of writing. Imagine it with fresh eyes!

6. Here are some helpful things to keep in mind about revision Two ways of looking Globally The Big Picture Locally The Little Picture

7. Globally The Big Picture Overall effect of the piece? Overall effect of the piece? How it is organized and structured? Proper Headings, Index, TOC, Bibliography, Appendix etc. How it is organized and structured? Proper Headings, Index, TOC, Bibliography, Appendix etc. Where is the reader captured? Where is the reader captured? If Formal writing which Style is followed ( APA,CHICAGO,MLA) If Formal writing which Style is followed ( APA,CHICAGO,MLA)

8. Locally The Little Picture Does any sentences create clarity or confusion? Are there sentences that can be combined? Are there sentences that can be shortened? How are specific transitions serving the main idea?

9. Clarity “ Getting the meaning from your head accurately to the reader’s is the purpose of CLARITY “ To Achieve Clarity Use Precise and familiar words. Use Precise and familiar words. Avoid foggy and indirect language. Avoid foggy and indirect language. Use Active Voice. Use Active Voice. Keep it Short and Simple (KISS). Keep it Short and Simple (KISS).

10. Clarity …… Example Faulty: It was decided that company policy be changed to allow employee selection of personal leave days. Better: Company decided to change policy and allow employees to select their own leave days.

11. Conversational Use first person pronoun. Avoid Legal terminology, Technical words. Use familiar words. Example Faulty: After our perusal of pertinent data the conclusion is that lucrative market exists for subject property. Better: The data we studied show that your property is profitable and in high demand.

12. Conciseness Say what you want to say nothing else. Say what you want to say nothing else. Keep your sentence trim and compact without effecting clarity. Keep your sentence trim and compact without effecting clarity. Guidelines to follow 1) Remove opening fillers. 2) Reduce compound Prepositions. 3) Eliminate Redundancies. 4) Purging Empty words.

13. Examples: Faulty:There are three things I want you to do. Better:I want you to do three things. Common Redundancies: "Personal Opinion," “New Innovation" “Basic Fundamentals” Compound Prepositions: Due to the fact == BECAUSE At this point in time== NOW

14. Vigor and Directness Remove Dullness and common business language. Remove Dullness and common business language. Be Vigor (Energetic) by using improved versions. Be Vigor (Energetic) by using improved versions. Trite PhraseImproved Version As per your requestAs you request. Enclosed please findEnclosed is With Reference toAbout

15. What to Proof Read Spelling Grammar Punctuation Name and Numbers Format Graphics and Illustrations

16. Proofread with an open mind. Be willing to make changes. Be willing to make changes. Be willing to put in the time and effort. Be willing to put in the time and effort. Leave yourself ample time to examine your writing. Leave yourself ample time to examine your writing. Keep your reader in mind at all times. Keep your reader in mind at all times.

17. How to Proofread 1. 1. Short Documents can be reviewed after certain interval (On same day). 2. 2. Long and Complex documents should be reviewed after 24 hours. 3. 3. Use Standard Proofreading marks. 4. 4. Read Every sentence loudly. 5. 5. Reduce Reading Speed. 6. 6. Spell names, difficult words, notes, capitalization and punctuation.

18. How to Proofread…. 7. 7. Use printed copy (“Things look different on papers”). 8. 8. Use double line space. 9. 9. Use scale to read line by line on printed copy. 10. 10. Scroll line by line at a time on computer. 11. 11. Use Software for Proofreading like MSWORD.

19. Proof Reading Marks

20. FOG INDEX (By Robert Gunning) To check your own clarity in writing: 1.Count how many words you use in an average sentence.... 1.Count how many words you use in an average sentence.... 2.To do that, check any 100 words you have written, in a report or letter.... 2.To do that, check any 100 words you have written, in a report or letter.... 3.Divide that 100 by the number of sentences used.... 3.Divide that 100 by the number of sentences used.... 4.Then count how many "complex" words you have used for every 100 words you have written (a "complex" word is one with three syllables or more - not counting words with capital letters).... 4.Then count how many "complex" words you have used for every 100 words you have written (a "complex" word is one with three syllables or more - not counting words with capital letters)....

21. Fog Index ….. 5.Add the two totals together, and then take four tenths of the total. That is your Fog Index........ 5.Add the two totals together, and then take four tenths of the total. That is your Fog Index........ Average Words /Sentence= 20 Complex Words= 10 Total 30 Fog Index (30 x 0.40) 12 Fog Index Between 8 - 12 considered as Good. So its time to Check your index…….

22. Conclusion Why Documents need Revision? Why Documents need Revision? Consideration in Revision.( Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness) Consideration in Revision.( Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness) Proof Reading. Proof Reading. How and When Proof Reading is done? How and When Proof Reading is done? Measure your writing through FOG INDEX. Measure your writing through FOG INDEX. Highlighting pictures, graphs and illustrations. Highlighting pictures, graphs and illustrations.

23. Thanks & Good Bye