0. JIM STENEHJEM, ND LEAD DIRECTOR
Communications
JIM STENEHJEM, ND LEAD DIRECTOR

1. Welcome to Communication Styles
"Oh, would some power the gift give us,
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would free many a blunder
and foolish notion." Robert Burns

2. Effectiveness Knowledge Skills What to do How to do Effectiveness
Attitude
Want to do

3. Successful People
Understand themselves and how their behavior affects others
Understand their reactions to other people
Know how to capitalize on what they do well
Know how to adapt their behavior to meet the needs of other people and situations

4. Desired Outcomes
Know yourself: Understand own styles - how you affect other people.
Know others: Understand other styles - how other people affect you and each other.
Increase your adaptability: Able to study situations and people - adapt varied responses to accommodate others’ style needs.
Complete the focus on you form before the next slide

5. How We Communicate 7% 55% 38% Words we use Nonverbals, Body Language
How we say words: tone, inflection, volume
Sounds we make
55%
38%
Body Language
Crossed arms closed position
Clenched hands closed position
Blink book Classroom teacher with tone only, 2 seconds to jump to conclusions
College dorm room,
"the power of thin slicing"--which says that as human beings we are capable of making sense of situations based on the thinnest slice of experience.
Priming putting thoughts into the subconscious before hand effects the behavior, old words, rude words, black indicators on test
Mirror others body language trust
Change body language, change attitude John Horpedahl in IEP Meetings
Voice
Blink Doctors who were sued. If the voice appeared to be dominant, yes, if caring, no. If they don’t appear to be listening to you, are talking down to you, aren’t treating you with respect. Thin sliced from tone! They also spent 3 minutes longer with their patients. People don’t sue people they like!
Voice and facial expression in Blink with married couples, 3 minutes can predict if they will be married in 15 years. John Gottman 90 percent accurate with 15 minutes
4% Quality of our breath

6. You cannot not communicate!
Silent Messages, Albert Mehrabian
Verbal Nonverbal
Speed Body movement
Inflection Eyes
Tone Facial expression
Content Gestures

7. How We Communicate Lag Time 7% 38% SPEAK 120-180 words per minute
LISTEN words per minute
Lag Gap between the two
38%

8. Behavior Basics
BEHAVIOR is what a person says (verbal) and does (nonverbal).
INTERPERSONAL BEHAVIOR relates to the verbal and nonverbal actions that occur between at least two people.
Complete the exercise 4 by underlining or circling words or phrases you think other would use to describe your most typical interpersonal behavior

9. Behavior Basics Habitual Response to Interpersonal Behavior Observe
Draw Conclusions Based on Prior Experiences
Look at examples on page 6
You Other Judgment Reaction/Feelings
Quiet Loud Insincere She bugs me
Fast Paced Same Motivated I like him
Fast Paced Slow Paced No ambition She’s not dependable
Outgoing Reserved Aloof I don’t like him
Slow Paced Same Thorough I can count on her
6.Tension: Through trial and error, we have learned to behave in ways that reduce tension and make us feel comfortable.
 write on page 6
7.Exercise: Tension in the work environment can lead to either positive or negative outcomes. Briefly describe the work environment in which you prefer to work: Share one thing
Productive work environment:
React

10. Perception is Reality Behavior Basics
Complete the exercise 4 by underlining or circling words or phrases you think other would use to describe your most typical interpersonal behavior

11. Behavior Basics Communication Style
The pattern of interpersonal behavior we use that feels most natural and comfortable for us.
9.Versatility refers to your ability to adapt your behavior to meet the needs of other people and situations in order to work effectively with people outside your own comfort zone rather than in conflict with them.

12. Behavior Basics Versatile Response to Interpersonal Behavior Observe
Draw Conclusions Based on Knowledge of Styles
When we don’t just react based on our experiences, but stop, reflect during the gap between observing behavior and acting, we can use other knowledge or skills. This time between observing and acting is called a gap.
We call that space the interpersonal gap next slide
Adapt
Act
Act
Act
Act

13. Behavior Basics Interpersonal Gap Words 7% Body Language 55%
Voice Tonality 38%
Words 7%
YOUR STORY
Feelings
Intentions
Attitudes
Thoughts
Experiences
Communication style
THEIR STORY
Feelings
Intentions
Attitudes
Thoughts
Experiences
Communication Style
Body Language 55%
Voice Tonality 38%
The gap is the difference in what message is sent and what is received.
Quiet Loud Insincere She bugs me
Fast Paced Same Motivated I like him
Fast Paced Slow Paced No ambition She’s not dependable
Outgoing Reserved Aloof I don’t like him
Slow Paced Same

14. Behavior Basics FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF MANY YEARS.
Did the same test, with two sets of words. One set included aggressive, bold, rude, bother, disturb, intrude, infringe
The other considerate, appreciate, patiently, yield, polite, courteous, respect
Test take five minutes, then instructed to walk down the hall and talk to the person running the experiment I order to get their next assignment. When they get there the person is talking to someone else. People with rude words on the average interrupted after five minutes. 82% of the kind word group never interrupt, after 10 minutes of waiting.

15. The Golden Rule Behavior Basics
Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated

16. Treat Others the Way THEY Want to be Treated
Behavior Basics
The Platinum Rule
Treat Others the Way THEY Want to be Treated
. . . based on their style!

17. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
I II III IV
1 a b c d
a b d c
d a c b
Total I II III IV
We all display general patterns of behavior when we interact with others. Although most people are fairly adaptable, each of us have certain behavioral preferences that are more predictable than we think, particularly when we are under stress or pressure. Our preferences are revealed through our personality and in the way we interact and communicate with others. These behavioral patterns of communication are called our “communication style.” Sometimes differing styles produce tension, which can lead to conflict over time, mainly when the parties involved do not understand and appreciate style differences. The first step toward reducing tension and improving communication is to better understand how we communicate with others. If we can identify how our style impacts others, how other styles impact us, and how we perceive others and others perceive us, we can avoid unproductive behavior, reduce tension, and learn how to communicate more effectively.

18. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Circle 3 words from the style column with the largest number.
Add to your table tent #1 style largest, # 2 small
Review pages for your style and check 3 do’s or don’t you most agree with.
Pages 22 and 23 Select 2 items you agree with most on each page
8:20 start go to group by 8:25
We all display general patterns of behavior when we interact with others. Although most people are fairly adaptable, each of us have certain behavioral preferences that are more predictable than we think, particularly when we are under stress or pressure. Our preferences are revealed through our personality and in the way we interact and communicate with others. These behavioral patterns of communication are called our “communication style.” Sometimes differing styles produce tension, which can lead to conflict over time, mainly when the parties involved do not understand and appreciate style differences. The first step toward reducing tension and improving communication is to better understand how we communicate with others. If we can identify how our style impacts others, how other styles impact us, and how we perceive others and others perceive us, we can avoid unproductive behavior, reduce tension, and learn how to communicate more effectively.

19. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Beige Lion
Red Dolphin
Blue Panda
Green Beaver
PERSONAL INTERACTION INVENTORY
The column with the greatest number is your dominant “communication style.” The next number in descending order is your secondary style. The higher the number, the more likely you are to exhibit the characteristics associated with that style.
Circle the words that you most identity with in your column with the largest number
Telling vs Asking
Expressive vs Controlled
Driver Telling – Controlled
Expressive Telling – Expressive
Amiable Telling – Expressive
Analytical Asking - controled

20. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Beige Lion
Driver Style
Feel in Charge
Like a Challenge
Quick Action
Decisive in conversations
Can be seen as:
Too brief
One-way communicator
Poor listener
Blunt
Jeff Schatz or John or Becky Scmidt.

21. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Beige Lion
Driver Style
You tend to want:
Freedom, power, independence, quick results
Your Challenge: To make this characteristics work for you and not against you with others

22. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Red Dolphin
EXPRESSIVE Style
Feel your persuasive
Like to be around people
To be popular
To be positive
Talkative
Can be seen as:
Too Talkative
Speak without preparation
Overselling ideas
Giving too much information
Gary Schill- Great sales and positive people

23. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Red Dolphin
EXPRESSIVE Style
Your Challenge:
You want popularity, influence, and
public recognition

24. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Blue Panda
AMIABLE Style
Sincere
Like being part of a group
Like stability
Need time to adjust to new ideas
You Don’t tell all you know
Can be seen as:
Respond slowly to information
Need too much personal attention
Turned off by an aggressive person
All about the group and being part of a group

25. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Blue Panda
AMIABLE Style
Challenge for you:
Your tendency is to build roots,
feel needed, and to be asked—
not told– what to do.

26. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Green Beaver
ANALYTICAL Style
Thorough
Like low risk situations, cooperative,
Organized, standard procedures
Very logical
Can be seen as:
Excessively detailed
Write long memos
Overemphasize when writing
Slow to trust others
Really analytical. Can be maximizer instead of satisfiser
Give people the facts and it will be clear what to do. All get along.

27. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Green Beaver
ANALYTICAL Style
Your Challenge:
You want thinking time, low-risk
situations, cooperative relationships,
organization, and long explanations.

28. Form Groups by Same Styles Help you understand you
Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Form Groups by Same Styles
Help you understand you
Each person share the key words you chose in your style and why
Share the items you checked on the do and/or don’t lists
Done by 8:50

29. Scoring Personal Interaction Inventory
Groups
Help us understand you
Share from the do and/or don’t lists with the team members
New Groups
Now form new groups based on your second style
Done by 8:50

30. General Considerations and Conclusions
How we develop a mystery . . .fairly “solid” before age 10.
 Preferred, dominant style (single color), stress levels go up, revert back to our dominant styles
 As people mature “technicolored” communication shift styles depending on the situation or demand.
 “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
 Little difference from different cultural backgrounds.

31. General Considerations and Conclusions
Include elements of all four styles when addressing groups!
When you superimpose your “style of communication” on another person whose style is very different from yours, you can be certain there will be miscommunication.
Practice listening for key words or phrases in someone else’s communication
Almost everyone has one or two dominant styles.

32. Behavior Basics Versatile Response to Interpersonal Behavior Observe
Draw Conclusions Based on Knowledge of Styles
Adapt
Act
Act
Act
Act

33. Behavior Basics Interpersonal Gap Words 7% Body Language 55%
Voice Tonality 38%
Words 7%
YOUR STORY
Feelings
Intentions
Attitudes
Thoughts
Filters
Experiences
Communication Style
THEIR STORY
Feelings
Intentions
Attitudes
Thoughts
Filters
Experiences
Communication Style
Body Language 55%
Voice Tonality 38%

34. Negafirmative
(nayg' uh firm' uh tiv) v. Nodding in agreement with someone even though you don’t have the slightest clue as to what they’re talking about.