2. Understanding conflicts….. A situation in which someone believes that his or her own needs have been denied…… The energy that builds up when individuals or groups of people pursue incompatible goals in their drive to meet their needs and interests…… The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict, but to use it.

3. Understanding conflicts….. “Conflict itself is neither good nor bad … What matters about conflict, in the end, is how we respond to it” Brian Muldoon, The Heart of Conflict

4. Conflict is a problem when it: 1.Hampers productivity 2.Lowers morale 3.Causes more & continued conflicts 4.Causes inappropriate behaviors

5. Nothing is said yet but things don't feel right. Discomforts Incidents Misunderstandings Tensions Crisis Motives and facts are often confused or misperceived Relationships are weighed down by negative attitudes and fixed opinions Behavior is affected, normal functioning becomes difficult, extreme gestures are contemplated or executed A short, sharp exchange occurs without any lasting internal reaction Levels of Conflict

6. Perception is EVERYTHING! WE SEE THINGS AS WE ARE; NOT AS THEY ARE.

7. A battle ship commander was guiding his ship through the night. Seeing a light coming toward them he signaled for the other craft to stand aside. Back came a signal that not only refused to stand aside, but suggested they should be the ones to stand aside instead. Greatly irritated he signaled back, telling his rank as a commander and demanded that the craft stand aside. Back came the reply, signaled by an ordinary seaman, that they must stand aside. Affronted he signaled “This is a battleship, change your course!” Back came the reply “This is a lighthouse, change your course!”

8. 1.Perceptions are always incomplete to some extent, and perhaps even inaccurate. 2.1 + 1 = 3 …..there’s your viewpoint, my viewpoint, and then there’s reality…. 3.Own your perceptions – Don’t let them own you!

9. Conflict Management The Heat - Video Clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYcvTrd7-A

10. TRUST! How can I trust you if you don’t allow me to be myself? Trust people to be who they are Vs who we want them to be…..

11. Casey Stengel It is easy to get the players on a team. Getting the team to play together is the hard part.

12. Circle of Influence Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Betari Box Model

13. Speed of Trust What is Your Speed of Trust ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qja9IVJkdoo

14. What is Conflict Management? A principle that says all conflict cannot necessarily be resolved but learning how to manage conflicts can decrease the odds of non-productive escalation.

15. Issue Personality Emotions Interests, Needs, and Desires Self-Perceptions and Self-Esteem Hidden Expectations Unresolved Issues from the Past

16. How will you view conflict? Functional Vs Dysfunctional “ What would you like to see happen instead?” “This issue presents us with a real challenge.” “Your feedback helped me see ways that I could improve. “ We shot that idea down!” “Your position is indefensible.” “Thanks for dropping that bomb on me.” Opportunity War

17. The Balancing Act Preventing or resolving conflict involves two seemingly contradicting movements: Supporting others by active listening Asserting self by sending effective messages

18. Communication & Conflict Supportive Skills 1.Paraphrasing 2.Openness 3.Agreement stating Assertive Skills 1.I-Messages 2.Preference stating 3.Purpose stating

19. COOPERATIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS Blake & Mouton’s Conflict Grid

20. Avoidance Low assertiveness & low cooperation……turtle ASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS Avoid Low High Individuals fail to address the conflict. Postponing a resolution hinders group progress.

21. Accommodation Low assertiveness & high cooperation……the bear ASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS Low High A strategy for resolving immediate needs. Contains an element of self- sacrifice. Emphasizes common interests and deemphasizes differences in the group. Accommodate

22. Competing High assertiveness & low cooperation… the Shark ASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS Low High A power-oriented strategy. Competition should be based on whether winning the conflict is beneficial to individuals or the group. Compete

23. Compromise Moderate assertiveness & moderate cooperation ……the Fox ASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS Low High A strategy for finding an expedient solution. Compromise works towards partially satisfying both parties, but each party must honor the resolution for continued satisfaction. Compromise

24. Collaboration High assertiveness & high cooperation ….the Owl ASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS Low High A strategy that fully satisfies both parties. The best decisions are made with collaboration, given the presence of trust, respect, and communication among group members. Collaborate

25. Don’t let the conflict control you. The conflict is not who you are ! Conclusion

26. Questions?