1. Conferences: Facilitate Change Conflict Problem Solving Negotiation

2. CONFLICT 8CONFLICT CAN HAVE GOOD OR POOR OUTCOMES DEPENDS ON TYPE OF CONTEXT (COMPETITIVE OR COOPERATIVE) 8CONFLICT IS NECESSARY FOR LEARNING COOPERATION

3. Conflict Management 1.Agree to common goals 2.Listen responsively 3.Acknowledge what is being said

4. Conflict Goal Identification TYPES OF CONCERNS : 81. about reaching one’s goals 82. about maintaining an appropriate relationship with the other person A “problem” is defined as having a goal and a relationship Degree of importance to each determines strategies used

5. 8WHEN GOAL AND RELATIONSHIP EQUALLY IMPORTANT: negotiation ensures both parties fully achieve goals and tensions resolved 8BOTH MODERATELY IMPORTANT AND BOTH CAN’T GET WHAT THEY WANT: compromise by both sacrificing 8GOAL NOT IMPORTANT, BUT RELATIONSHIP REALLY IS: one or both give up goal

6. 8NEITHER GOAL NOR RELATIONSHIP IMPORTANT: withdraw; one or both give up both goal and avoid relationship 8GOAL IMPORTANT, RELATIONSHIP NOT: force or win-lose outcome 8THE KEY: Individual’s ability to diagnose importance of goals and relationships

7. Assertiveness 8Achieving your goals without damaging the relationship or another’s self-esteem. Katz & Lawyer, 1983 8Assertive communication: 8 use “I” messages instead of a “you” messages 8say “and” instead of “but” 8name your own feelings 8say what you want to happen 8express concern for others 8use assertive body language

8. Types of problems 8Interpersonal 8School Wide 8Technological 8Reading programs 8Inclusion

9. Review Skills for Dealing with Conflict Active listening: 8Paraphrase content 8Reflect Feeling is perspective taking (empathy) 8Use of “I statements” 8Inquire to clarify (what does that mean?, write it down, ask if your list is complete, ask for suggestions) 8Find some part of problem you can agree with

10.  To reduce and prevent impulsive behavior in preschool- kindergarten children of low SES  Spivack and Shure (1976) taught children how to: 8listen to and observe others, 8learn that others have thoughts, feelings, and motives in problem situations, 8apply skills to hypothetical interpersonal problems using role play, pictures and puppets Teaching Conflict Negotiation Skills to Young Children

11. General steps for problem solving 1.Recognition and definition of the problem (a)recognize a challenge or dilemma exists (b)that it’s an opportunity for growth and not a threat (c) that it is solvable 2. Generation of alternative solutions or tools 3. Evaluation of alternative solutions (co ntinued)

12. General steps for problem solving 4. Decision-making 8using these criteria: 8(a) problem resolution, 8(b) overall personal-social and emotional well- being, 8(c) amount of time and effort required, and 5. Implementing the decisions 6. Following-up to evaluate the solution

13. FAMILY PROBLEM SOLVING -- moving them from emotional to cognitive 1. Define good things and problems as a family--each member write down 2. Consider alternatives as a group--brain storm as group 3. Consequences possible? 4. Reach mutual aggreements with choices-- agree to disagree on certain items, appeal to outside negotiator, compromise

14. 8adolescents do need involvement in rules and problem solving 8For example, Chore cards (Barkley): Each person in family picks and trades: game quality. Or each family member takes turns (cooking dinner in our family and complimenting) Each card has steps involved in correctly performance, time selected to do that chore, and consequences (part of allowance, preferred activity given, etc).

15. What if the process doesn’t work? 8Were feelings addressed? 8Was the problem defined accurately? 8Did all parties practice good listening skills? 8Were the nitty-gritty details worked out? 8Were any hidden agendas brought to light and handled? 8Were all participants appropriately assertive? 8Was there follow-up to the consultation?

16. ARGUE, DEFEND, RAISE YOUR VOICE, MINIMIZE THE PROBLEM, PROMISE WHAT YOU CAN’T DELIVER, OR OWN A PROBLEM THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU Did you? And DON’T

17. Review: STEPS OF NEGOTIATION 81. State what you want 82. State how you feel 83. State the reasons underlying your wants and feelings 84. State your understanding of the other’s wants, feelings, and reasons 85. State 3 potential agreements that will maximize joint gain, and which one you would agree to 86. Formalize the agreement process

18. The End