1. College Essay This essay is graded on revision! So please keep all copies of your drafts with notes on them so we can see it.

2. On Your Paper (not on the computer) Read through once for spelling, grammar and simple mistakes. CORRECT IT ON THE ROUGH DRAFT PAPER

3. Mumble Read Read through your essay out loud in a mumble. Listen for clunky, awkward sentences. Correct on your paper!

4. An Independent Clause Go through your paper and underline the lonely independent clauses. These are clauses (subject and verb) that do not have any other grammatical accoutrements around them.

5. Now you are going to make these sentences a little more sophisticated… NOT EVERY ONE! Complex sentences get repetitious just like simple sentences do. You are going for a variety of sentences that flow and highlight the meaning. BUT ESPECIALLY: I did this….I did that…I have this… The subject/verb repetition needs to be jazzed up.

6. So, add subordinate clauses and phrases Use the list of subordinating conjunctions from yesterday. Don’t worry at this point about whether it is a phrase (without a subject or verb or both) or a clause (with a subject or verb) Go for adding at least 5! WRITE THESE ON YOUR PAPER.

7. Did you add at least FIVE?

8. Look for repetitious words or simplistic words. Good, great, thing (ugh! This one especially makes me cranky!) Minimum use of the word “you”. Do not ask a rhetorical question using the word you. “Have you ever been sad?” Replace some words to get variety. Add some adjectives to spice it up! Go for at least five! This should be on your paper!

9. Did you add or change at least FIVE?

10. Now, go change all of this in the computer. Resubmit it to turnitin.com. It will automatically erase your old copy and replace it with this new one. This is why it is so important that you make changes on the hard copy! We can’t grade your revision if we can’t see it. PRINT OUT A COPY OF YOUR REVISED DRAFT so we can do some peer editing in class tomorrow. This first draft with corrections, the peer edit draft with corrections, and then a final revised draft is due FRIDAY.