1. Transitions and Topic Focus

2. Tips for transitioning After the initial topic sentence, further clarify and identify the path the paragraph intends to take, that is, the organization of time, place, idea. Original: Through examples in gesture and conversation, Dickens depicts Scrooge as selfish, stubborn, and pessimistic. For example, he keeps his door “open so that he might keep an eye on the clerk” (13). Revision with transitional sentence added: Through examples in gesture and conversation, Dickens depicts Scrooge as selfish, stubborn, and pessimistic. Scrooge displays his selfishness in his treatment of his employee. For example, he keeps his door “open so that he might keep an eye on the clerk” (13).

3. Tips for transitioning Add a phrase or clause to the end of the topic sentence to further define a general word appearing in the topic sentence. Original: The Christmas dinner scene at Bob Cratchit’s that Scrooge observes depicts the ideal family. Mrs Cratchit is dressed in ribbons, which are cheap and make a goodly show for sixpence” (77). Revision with transitional phrases and clauses added: The Christmas dinner scene at Bob Cratchit’s that Scrooge observes depicts the ideal family, a family that celebrates despite ill fortune, that encourages all its members to share in responsibility, that practices acts of selflessness. For example, despite their poverty, Mrs Cratchit is dressed in ribbons, which are cheap and make a goodly show for sixpence” (77), for she is able to express joy and celebration within their economic means.

4. Tips for transitioning Use transitional words (list in resource packet) For example, to illustrate, next, as a result, furthermore, moreover, later, even though, in addition, likewise, finally, for this reason, therefore, consequently, that is, first, second, etc.

5. Topic Focus Within a paragraph, a writer’s sentences must focus on the topic that appears in the topic sentence. When the writer crafts a sentence that does not flow from the paragraph’s stated or implied topic, such a shift in topic is likely to confuse the reader.

6. Topic Focus To prevent this, craft the paragraph’s supporting sentences so that whatever appears at the beginning of each supporting sentence maintains the reader’s focus on the paragraph topic. This can be done with: - Exact topic word or words (but, avoid repetition) - Synonyms and pronouns of topic words (to avoid repetition) The above methods can be thought of as “word glue” - Introductory phrases or clauses (This method will help the focus to flow from one moment in the story/analysis to the next)

7. Original shifts in topic In The Lord of the Flies, Jack’s proud nature leads to the destruction of order and authority on the island. The conflagration, representing the boy’s only hope to leave the island, burns out due to his lack of supervision, a careless decision that commences the power struggle with Ralph. Ralph is the elected chief on the island and he complains about Jack hunting, even though Jack says that we “needed meat” (65), an action defying Ralph’s authority and showing that Jack believes he knows what is best for the boys.

8. Revision that keeps topic in focus In The Lord of the Flies, Jack’s proud nature leads to the destruction of order and authority on the island. Jack’s pride first manifests itself when the conflagration, representing the boy’s only hope to leave the island, burns out due to his lack of supervision, a careless decision that commences the power struggle with Ralph. In explaining his course of action, Jack tells Ralph that we “needed meat” (65), an action defying Ralph’s authority and showing that Jack believes he knows what is best for the boys.