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Two Rules of Love & Logic 1. Adults set firm limits in caring ways __________________ anger, lecture, or threats. 2. When a child causes a problem, the.

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Presentation on theme: "Two Rules of Love & Logic 1. Adults set firm limits in caring ways __________________ anger, lecture, or threats. 2. When a child causes a problem, the."— Presentation transcript:

1 Two Rules of Love & Logic 1. Adults set firm limits in caring ways __________________ anger, lecture, or threats. 2. When a child causes a problem, the adult ___________ ____ __________ in caring ways. Why is it important to use a positive, relationship-building class management plan? Research shows that a school environment in which students do not have fear of humiliation or out-of-control classmates leads to ___________ ___________ ____________________. Research also shows that the number one indicator of student success is the perception that child has that his/her teacher likes him/her. So, we need to help them feel ___________ and ___________. 1. Setting limits without anger, lecture, or threats. A. Classroom plan: Please don’t make a ______________ for others. If you make a problem, I will ______ _____________. NOTE: Don’t post consequences…every child is unique and every disruption* is different…approach the intervention and consequence with this in mind. *See reasons for misbehavior on next page 1

2 *The 4 Main Reasons for Misbehavior 1. Attention--Look at me! 2. Power--Let’s Fight! 3. Revenge--I’ll get even! 4. Avoidance of Failure--Leave me alone! 2

3 B. Enforcing the classroom plan by… Going brain dead: When student says something to frustrate you, such as, “This is stupid,” “This class sucks,” or “Why do we have to do this?” Step One: Do not _______________ about what the child is saying. Why? If you think too much you might be tempted to reason with the student. And if you reason, it’s very likely that the student will use your own words to trap you. Step Two: Softly repeat a _______-_______________. I respect you too much to argue. I know. Thanks for sharing. Probably so. Nice try. I bet it feels that way. That’s an option. Using enforceable “I will” messages: The quickest way to erode your own authority in the classroom is by making _________________. A “threat” is defined as any statement that you really can’t enforce if a student decides to test you on it. Wise teachers never tell kids what to do. Instead, they tell them what ___________ will do. I will messages that maintain authority (enforceable statements) I’ll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine. I respect you too much to argue. I grade papers handed in on time. I feel really sad for students who aren’t prepared with their materials. I allow students to stay in my class when they aren’t causing a problem for anyone else. I listen to people with their hands raised. 3

4 Practice using enforceable “I will” messages: Turn the following unenforceable statements into enforceable ones: Ex.Unenforceable: Quit arguing. Enforceable: I’ll be happy to listen when your voice sounds calm like mine. #1 Unenforceable: Hand your papers in on time. Enforceable:__________________________________ __________________________________ #2 Unenforceable: Treat each other with respect. Enforceable:__________________________________ __________________________________ #3 Unenforceable: Keep your hands to yourself. Enforceable:__________________________________ __________________________________ Avoiding warnings: What happens when we give warnings and advance notice of consequences? –Kids will __________ to see if we can really do what we warn. –Kids find ________________ ways of breaking rules so the consequence no longer fits. –Kids play “brain drain” _________________ with us about the consequences. –Teachers are forced to follow a _______________________ plan even when it doesn’t really apply to a unique student or situations. –Kids begin to rely on our warnings instead of learning _________-___________________ Something to think about: Many teachers have a system that relies on 2 or 3 warnings, then a prescribed consequence is delivered. In a class of 30 students, that teacher may have to deal with up to _______ class disruptions before he or she can deliver a consequence. 4

5 Using preventative intervention strategies: Use interventions when... –you can tell that a student is just _______________ ____ misbehave but hasn’t yet. –the misbehavior is relatively __________ yet distracting –the misbehavior is not ___________ and the student is basically responsible. –you need to put a quick stop to the behavior so you can continue __________________. Quick & easy interventions: 5

6 More preventative intervention strategies (from Cooperative Discipline): 6

7 2. Handing the problem back in a caring way. Avoid getting sucked into problems that should be solved by your students. The students should be thinking ______________ _________ _____________ than you do! A. Help students own and solve their own problems. 5 Steps Step #1: Provide a strong dose of _______________. “That’s got to be frustrating.” “Oh, no.” “What a bummer.” Step #2: Hand the _______________ back in a caring way. “What are you going to do?” Step #3: Ask permission to share some solutions and provide ______________. “Are you interested in how some students have solved these types of problems? Some students decide to…” Step #4: Help the student ______________ the potential consequences of each choice. “How would that work for you?” Step #5: Allow the student to either solve the problem or not solve the problem. “Good luck. Let me know how it works out.” Problem scenario: One of your students says to you, “I’ll never get this, I’m just too stupid.” What would you say? Step #1:____________________________________________________ Step#2:____________________________________________________ Steps #3 & #4:______________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ Step #5:____________________________________________________ 7

8 B. Giving choices with limits. Control is a basic __________________ need. When we lose control, we become irritable, angry, stressed-out, physically and emotionally ill, and we have trouble concentrating or learning. Research and experience shows: -_________________ cannot be performed while an individual is focused on fulfilling the control need. -When control is _____________, humans are happier, more cooperative, and healthier. -Small and ___________________ doses of control are more effective than large, infrequent ones. Appropriate choices gives students a sense of control. 1. Choices should not be _____________ in disguise. 2. Only give choices that won’t make a ________________ for you. 3. Give your students _________ choices, save the big ones for yourself. 4. If your students don’t make a choice within ______ seconds, choose for them. 5. Offer choices before your students become ________________…not after. ______________________________ 8

9 C. Use delayed, logical consequences. Immediate v. delayed consequences: -Immediate consequences work really well for rats, pigeons, mice, and monkeys. In real-world classrooms, they typically create ___________ problems than they solve. We are forced to react while we are too _____________ to think well. Also, we don’t have time to put together a plan and a support team to help us carry it out, and as a result, we often end up making ______________ we can’t back up. -Delayed consequences give the teacher time to think rationally and gather support AND it forces the student to _____________ _________ the possible consequences he/she will face. “Oh, no. This is sad. I’m going to have to do something about this! But not now…I’m busy teaching…so I’ll do it later…try not to worry about it between now and then.” Logical consequences v. punishment: Logical consequences are administered when… -a student’s behavior has created a _____________ problem for others. -the misbehavior is small yet ___________. 9

10 Four steps to administering the delayed, logical consequence: ___________ the consequence. Make a __________ with help from others. Follow the steps for guiding kids to ________ their own problems. Deliver a ____________ consequence if the child doesn’t solve the problem. 10

11 After using intervention strategies, the teacher then offers “support’ to keep misbehavior from reoccurring. _____________________ is the most powerful ____________________ for change. The Choice of Praise or Encouragement: PraiseEncouragement 1. Is general1. Is specific “You’re a great kid.”“You got eight out of ten correct.” 2. Is judgmental.2. Is descriptive. The goal is to allow the student “That’s a great job.” to do the judging. “I noticed that you were taking turns on the playground today.” 3. Places value upon the quality of the3. Emphasizes and values effort. performance or the product.“I bet you worked hard on that one.” “I really like that paper.” 4. Emphasizes the feelings of the person doing4. Emphasizes the feelings of the student. the praising.“Wow, five out of five! I bet that feels great!” “I’m so proud of the way you work in school.” 5. Is often manipulative.5. Avoids manipulation since the student does most of the judging. 6. Works only when the student believes that 6. Is the technique of choice to use with students the praise is accurate and sincere. who have low self-concepts. Support 11

12 References Albert, Linda. Cooperative Discipline. (1996). Circle Pines, MN: American Guidance Service, Inc. Cherry, Clara. Please Don’t Sit on the Kids. (2002). McGraw- Hill Children’s Publishing. Fay, Jim and Fay, Charles. 9 Essential Skills for the Love and Logic Classroom, Low Stress Strategies for Highly Successful Educators (Workbook). Love and Logic Press, Inc.: 2002. Fay, Jim and Fay, Charles. Favorite Strategies from the Folks at Love and Logic, Powerful Yet Caring Tools for Educators and Parents. Love and Logic Press, Inc.: 2000. Fay, Jim and Funk, David. Teaching with Love and Logic, Taking Control of the Classroom. Love and Logic Press, Inc.: 1995. Marshall, Marvin. (2001). Discipline Without Stress. Los Alamitos, CA: Piper Press. 12


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