1. CHOPPY SENTENCES Sentence s

2. Choppy sentences Small sentences in succession Ineffective writing style Can bore your reader Can be repetitive with information

3. Consider these choppy examples Shakespeare was a popular playwright. Shakespeare wrote many plays. Shakespeare wrote many sonnets. He is known throughout the world. The author’s description of the character is crisp. The character is clear. Mr. Smith is the main character. The author reveals that he is lonely man. He is a lonely man because he lost his family.

4. The fix Delete repetitive words and phrases Combine sentences taking parts from them all – Use a semicolon between two complete sentences – Use an appositive Renames another noun right beside it – Use a relative clause A dependent clause introduced by a relative pronoun – Use several of these methods combined

5. The fix Use coordinating conjunctions: for, and, but, so, yet, nor, or Use subordinates: after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that, though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while

6. Revised Shakespeare was a popular playwright. Shakespeare wrote many plays. Shakespeare wrote many sonnets. He is known throughout the world. The well-known playwright, Shakespeare, wrote many sonnets and plays. Shakespeare, a well- known playwright, wrote many sonnets and plays. – These sentences use appositives.

7. Revised Shakespeare was a popular playwright. Shakespeare wrote many plays. Shakespeare wrote many sonnets. He is known throughout the world Because Shakespeare was a popular playwright, his many plays and sonnets are well-known. – This sentence uses a subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentence.

8. Revised The author’s description of the character is crisp. The character is clear. Mr. Smith is the main character. The author reveals that he is lonely man. He is a lonely man because he lost his family in the war. Mr. Smith, who lost his family in the war, is described as a lonely man by the author. – This sentence uses a relative clause.

9. Revised The author’s description of the character is crisp. The character is clear. Mr. Smith is the main character. The author reveals that he is lonely man. He is a lonely man because he lost his family. The crisp description of the lonely Mr. Smith reveals he lost his family in the war. The author reveals his main character to be a lonely man; Mr. Smith’s loss of his family in the war is a clear example. This sentence uses a semicolon.