1. College Essay Revision #2 Final Essays due Monday for 2xm

2. Pass across the room. Check for MLA format Read the first paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the first paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the beginning be even better ? Write new ideas in the margins.

3. Pass to someone near you. Read the first paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the first paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the beginning be even better ? Write new ideas in the margins.

4. Pass to your left. Read the first paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the first paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the beginning be even better ? Write new ideas in the margins.

5. Pass behind you. Read the conclusion paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the conclusion paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the conclusion be even stronger ? Write new ideas in the margins.

6. Random pass to anyone. Read the conclusion paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the conclusion paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the conclusion be even stronger ? Write new ideas in the margins.

7. Pass to your left. Read the conclusion paragraph. Give feedback: 1.What have they done in the conclusion paragraph that is good? Write a positive note. 2.How can the conclusion be even stronger ? Write new ideas in the margins.

8. Pass across the room. Read the essay and highlight the THREE BEST SENTENCES in the entire essay that show voice! Put a star next to any sentences or sections that need more voice.

9. Pass behind you. Read the essay and highlight the THREE BEST SENTENCES in the entire essay that show voice! If you agree with previously highlighted sentences, put a smiley face next to them. Put a star next to any sentences or sections that need more voice.

10. Pass to your right. Read the essay and highlight the THREE BEST SENTENCES in the entire essay that show voice! If you agree with previously highlighted sentences, put a smiley face next to them. Put a star next to any sentences or sections that need more voice.

11. Give essay back to owner. Read aloud- Partner up and read your essay out loud, paying particular attention to flow, grammar, and mechanics.

12. Homework Look over feedback. If the length of your essay is too long, begin cutting out any extra information and conjoin sections together to skip any information or details that are not absolutely relevant to the story. Be mindful of KEEPING those sentences that show the MOST voice (highlighted sentences). These are probably NOT sentences to cut out since they reveal the BEST VOICE in the essay. Make revisions & edits as needed. Make sure you have a rubric!!