Spizzerinctum Group LLC

Spizzerinctum Group LLC
St. Louis PMI November 14, 2012 Emotional Intelligence: Just what is it and How can it help me achieve success as a Project Manager? Presented by: Julie M. Kowalski Of Spizzerinctum Group LLC

Just What Is Emotional Intelligence?
A new yardstick for evaluating how well we handle ourselves and each other! Spizzerinctum Group

The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence: Competency research in over 200 companies and organizations worldwide suggests that about one-third of performance difference (top versus bottom performer) is due to technical skill and cognitive ability while two-thirds is due to emotional competence. (Hunter, Schmidt, & Judiesch, 1990) Spizzerinctum Group

The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence: Research by the Center for Creative Leadership has found that the primary causes of derailment in executives involve deficits in emotional competence. The three primary ones are: Difficulty in handling change Not being able to work well in a team Poor interpersonal relations Spizzerinctum Group

Emotional Intelligence
So exactly what is EI? Emotional Intelligence is: Intrapersonal (self-awareness & self expression) Interpersonal (social-awareness & interaction) Stress Management (emotional control) Adaptability (change management) General Mood (self-motivation) Source: The 5 Meta Factors of the Bar-On model Spizzerinctum Group

Emotional Intelligence is: - Continued “Non-intellective” as well as “intellective” elements; affective, personal, and social factors Ability to persist in the face of difficulty Ability to get along well with colleagues and subordinates Causal attribution people make when confronted with failure or setbacks Optimists tend to make specific, temporary, external causal attributions while pessimists make global, permanent, internal attributions Spizzerinctum Group

Emotional Intelligence is: - Continued The ability to manage feelings and handle stress Emotional intelligence has as much to do with knowing when and how to express emotion as it does with controlling it. Emotional intelligence is NOT fixed at birth, it can be nurtured and strengthened throughout adulthood The ability to be sincerely empathetic Listen Really understand what others want Really understand others concerns The ability to recognize accurately what another person is feeling Spizzerinctum Group

What Emotional Intelligence is NOT: “Letting it all hang out” Being nice Telling everyone when you’re angry with them or blaming them for making you angry Being “emotional” Group hugs Making everyone happy Spizzerinctum Group

Miss-conceptions about emotional intelligence! Women have a naturally higher level of emotional intelligence than men Our level of emotional intelligence is fixed genetically A person who is more “emotional” has a higher level of emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence develops early in childhood Spizzerinctum Group

How can a high level of EI help me in my role as a Project Manager?
Group Exercise How can a high level of EI help me in my role as a Project Manager? Spizzerinctum Group

EI Competencies Self Awareness Emotional awareness Accurate self assessment Self confidence Spizzerinctum Group

EI Competencies Self Management Self Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Self motivation / drive Spizzerinctum Group

EI Competencies Social Awareness Empathy Organizational awareness Seeing others clearly Emotional boundaries Optimism Service orientation Spizzerinctum Group

EI Competencies Relationship Management Building bonds Relationship with boss and stakeholders Developing others Telling the truth Commitment Collaboration and cooperation Spizzerinctum Group

EI Competencies Leadership Communications skills Conflict Management skills Inspiring others Innovativeness Initiative Spizzerinctum Group

Self Awareness The first building block of EI
What are YOUR emotional outbreaks: Inappropriate humor? Use of sarcasm? Passive aggressive behavior? Procrastination? Stubbornness? Playing the victim, hostility? Spizzerinctum Group

Spizzerinctum Group 262-993-4883 spizzerinctum@wi.rr.com
Emotional Intelligence Quick Assessment – Institute for Health and Human Potential Strongly Disagree Disagree Neither agree nor disagree Agree Strongly Agree I can receive feedback or criticism without becoming defensive. I calm myself quickly when I get angry or upset. I communicate my needs and feelings honestly. I can pull myself together quickly after a setback. I am aware of how my behavior impacts others. I handle conflict effectively. Spizzerinctum Group

Emotional Intelligence Quick Assessment – Institute for Health and Human Potential Strongly Disagree Disagree Neither agree nor disagree Agree Strongly Agree I pay attention & listen without jumping to conclusions. I stay relaxed and composed under pressure. I stay focused (not lost in unimportant details or procrastination) in getting a job done. I avoid about 10% of my job because I find it difficult. I directly address people in difficult situations. Spizzerinctum Group

Emotional Intelligence Quick Assessment – Institute for Health and Human Potential Strongly Disagree Disagree Neither agree nor disagree Agree Strongly Agree I freely admit to making mistakes. I am always open to change. I am always positive. I always keep promises. I admit my shortcomings I resist the desire to act or speak when it will not help the situation. Spizzerinctum Group

Self Awareness The first building block of EI
An Accurate Self-Assessment Aware of strengths and weaknesses Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning and self development Able to show a sense of humor and perspective about themselves Presents self with self assurance Can voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right Is decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures Spizzerinctum Group

Self Awareness The first building block of EI - Continued
Ways to improve your Self-Awareness Figure out your comfort level with conflict – healthy or unhealthy? Track other’s emotions with a tally sheet Check your face in the mirror as well as other non verbal's Read / learn more about EI Focus on EI Spizzerinctum Group

Constructive Versus Destructive Conflict When people who don’t trust each other engage in debate, they are trying to win an argument. They aren’t usually listening to the other person’s ideas and then reconsidering their point of view. They’re figuring out how to manipulate the conversation and get what they want! The Conflict Pendulum Artificial Harmony Healthy/ ideal Conflict Destructive Keeping peace Mean-Spirited Attacks

Self-Management Self control is the ability to remain composed in spite of our emotional state Ability to exercise control over both negative and positive emotions Avoid emotional breakdowns Angry tirades Door slamming letter bomb Withdrawal Holding grudges / getting even Spizzerinctum Group

Self-Management Ways to improve your Self-Management Don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable / take on the moods and attitudes of others Don’t predict negative outcomes or events in the future Don’t dwell or become fixated on one particular thought, remark, event, injury or outcome Don’t try NOT to think about it Identify and deal appropriately with your hot buttons / hot words Identify when you are taking things personally Identify when you are “Perceiving” negative outcomes, criticism, or blame Stop participating in “stinking thinking” (should statements, negativity, always, never, jumping to conclusions, blame) Participate in DO-OVERS! Spizzerinctum Group

Social-Awareness Empathy (the ability to understand and relate to the emotions of others) is one of the most important competencies of social awareness The ability to read the spoken & unspoken thoughts & feelings of others The ability to appreciate the thoughts & feelings of others Capacity to respect and value people who have different thoughts / ideas / backgrounds / cultures Spizzerinctum Group

Social-Awareness As Humans we are naturally selfish and self-oriented. It is unnatural to think of others first. Thus we have to PRACTICE listening without judgment and thinking that others may know more than us or have a better idea than us! Let others speak Maintain eye contact Give the speaker your full attention (no multi-tasking) Playback and summarize Orient yourself to how you would feel if you experienced what they are experiencing Suspend Judgment! Remove filters / biases Spizzerinctum Group

Social-Awareness -Continued
Emotional Boundaries Emotional Boundaries are where one person’s emotions leave off and another’s begin. We need to be responsible for our own emotions and let others be responsible for theirs! Spizzerinctum Group

Warning signs of Individuals with emotional boundary issues Taking on the moods and feelings of others (trying to “fix” others) Sacrificing self to please others Not being able to say no and then feeling victimized Unable to express their own wants and needs Spizzerinctum Group

Best way to improve social awareness and keep clear boundaries is to communicate with feeling words! “When you ……” (some behavior or action) “I feel …..” (an emotion, such as sad or angry) “Because …..” (the reason) “I want…..” (state what you want in the future) Spizzerinctum Group

Social Awareness Ways to improve your Social-Awareness Improve your empathetic listening skills by letting others speak without helping them, maintaining eye contact, orienting your responses to emotions, suspending your agenda while listening Track emotions during meetings Identify emotional red flags in others Track your own emotions Explore and learn about people. Be open to the possibility of being influenced! Assess yourself and ask for feedback from others Spizzerinctum Group

Relationship Management Competencies
Relationship Management Using our emotional understanding of others to build relationships with them! Relationship Management Competencies Inspiration Influence Being trustworthy Developing others Change catalyst Conflict management Teamwork and collaboration Spizzerinctum Group

A big part of your day will be spent proactively communicating!
Team Leadership A big part of your day will be spent proactively communicating! Essential steps to intentional communications Determine your objective Understand your own emotions Think of what the other person may be doing / feeling when they receive the message from you and determine if that would be the best time for them to receive it! Choose the right time, place and media Share your own emotions when appropriate Spizzerinctum Group

Team Leadership Conflict Management Expect conflict Be open to and take on conflict directly (talk about it) Refrain from shooting the messenger Add a block of time for “open rant” and resolution Roll out standards of conduct Include the common belief that cooperation is better than competition in your standards of conduct Provide lots of feedback Let people decide how to resolve – your role is to provide options! Spizzerinctum Group

Skill Building Exercise
List 3 areas that you need to work on and actions you will take Area I need to focus on Action I will take Spizzerinctum Group

THANK YOU Thank you for allowing me the privilege of spending this time with you! It has certainly been my pleasure! Please do not hesitate to call me if I can be of assistance to you, your company, or other professional associations to which you belong. I would be honored to talk to you. I am always willing to brainstorm, learn and share with others! Spizzerinctum Group LLC Energy Enthusiasm Success Julie Kowalski Spizzerinctum Group

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