1. How to Raise a Child with High EQ Becoming a High EQ Parent

2. Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10 What must you teach your child about emotions?

3.  Near-Perfection  Disappointment, Frustration and Optimal Failure  Sense of Self & Other Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

4.  If you know everything… no need for your child to communicate clearly  If you understand everything… no need for your child to understand self or others  If you protect from everything… no need for your child to become strong and wise  If you handle everything… no need for your child to be capable, resourceful and creative Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

5. Play is the work of children …Anna Freud Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

6.  “a subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to… … monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions … discriminate among them … use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (Salovey & Mayer 1989) Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

7.  Empathy  Expressing & understanding feelings  Controlling one’s temper  Independence  Adaptability  Being well-liked  Interpersonal problem solving  Persistence  Friendliness  Kindness  Respect Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

8.  Each is a mix of what we get & what we become  Natural ability/ 10,000 hours  Temperament/ Environment  Both develop step by step  Each impacts the other Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

9. INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT  Measurable  Stable after Age 6 EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT  Not measurable, but recognizable  Grows and develops throughout life Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

10.  Emotions are natural responses, all part of one wide range of feeling and expression  Cutting off the “bad” ones impacts our ability to feel and express all the others  Ideas of which emotions are “bad” change over time  Parents may feel obligated to prevent their children from feeling or expressing “bad” emotions Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

11.  Understand what’s essential  Know yourself and your style  Take an affirmative approach to caring and discipline Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

12.  Consistent and strict rules  Expects obedience and respect  Discourages questions or opinions  Devoted to structure and tradition Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

13.  Situational guidelines instead of rules  Passive expectations for behavior  Encourages questions and opinions  Devoted to accepting and nurturing children as individuals Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

14.  Balance clear limits with a nurturing approach  Give guidance and structure without being overly controlling  Explain decisions and allow children to have input, while remaining “the bottom line”  Value independence but hold high standards for responsibility to others  Encourage and praise competence Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

15.  Accept Imperfection  Accept how you parent, and how you want to parent  Balance Yourself  Balance with Others Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

16.  Participate in a planned, active and reflective way  Follow your child’s lead  Praise honestly and accurately Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

17.  Know your rules  Teach expectations  Prevent problems  Shape behavior Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

18.  First step: Warning  Broken Rule: Punishment that’s immediate, appropriate & commensurate  Options: Learn to use a range of discipline techniques Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

19.  Reprimand  Natural consequence  Time-out  Taking away a privilege  Overcorrection  Behavior system Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10

20.  April 7: EQ Thinking Skills (Shapiro, Part 3)  May 5: Self-Motivation and Achievement Skills (Shapiro, Part 6) Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10