1. Affiliation and Friendship
Chapter 7
Affiliation and Friendship

2. Chapter Outline What is A Friend? Goals of Affiliative Behavior
Getting Social Support
Getting Information
Gaining Status
Exchanging Material Benefits

3. What is a Friend?
Affiliation motive - the desire to be near others and to have pleasant and affectionate interactions with them.
This chapter focuses on the “platonic” aspects of friendship and affiliation.

4. Studying Real-Life Relationships
What is a Friend?
Studying Real-Life Relationships
People tend to be inaccurate in their recall of social interactions.
57 scientists asked to remember recent e- mail communication partners forgot 2/3 of them.
Naturalistic observation of friendships poses problems, because people might adjust their behavior if they know they are being observed.

5. Focus on Method: Studying Intimate Relationships without Really Being There
Experience sampling skips the observer.
The experience sampling method involves participants recording their own interactions.
Example: When a portable beeper sounds, you fill out a short description detailing who you are with, and what is going on.

6. Agreeableness and Dominance
What is a Friend?
Agreeableness and Dominance
People’s thoughts about themselves and other people can be well described along two dimensions:
Agreeableness - How likable or warm is this person?
Dominance - How outgoing and self- confident is this person?

7. The interpersonal circumplex
Agreeableness and Dominance
The interpersonal circumplex
Cold-Hearted
Warm-Agreeable
Assured-Dominant
Unassured-Submissive
Arrogant-Calculating
Gregarious-Extraverted
Aloof-Introverted
Unassuming-Ingenuous

8. A circumplex of interpersonal problems
Agreeableness and Dominance
A circumplex of interpersonal problems
Cold
Overly Nurturant
Domineering
Nonassertive
Vindictive
Intrusive
Socially Avoidant
Exploitable

9. Domineering – do not deal well with criticism; do not respond well to authority
Vindictive – suspicious of others; not supportive of others; willing to harm others
Cold – not close to others; not affectionate
Socially avoidant – easily embarrassed; socially withdrawn and awkward
Nonassertive – not open with feelings, needs; not self-confident
Exploitable – gullible; easily taken advantage of
Overly nurturant – don’t set limits on others; too generous and giving
Intrusive – too open about self and others; gossipy

10. Goals of Affiliative Behavior
What is a Friend?
Goals of Affiliative Behavior
The reinforcement-affect model posits a domain-general goal of feeling good.
Reinforcement-affect model - the theory that we like people we associate with positive feelings and dislike those we associate with negative feelings.

11. Goals of Affiliative Behavior
What is a Friend?
Goals of Affiliative Behavior
Domain-specific models assume different relationships have different goals at different times.
Chapter examines four main goals for affiliating and forming friendships:
getting social support
getting information
gaining status
exchanging material benefits.

12. GETTING SOCIAL SUPPORT
Social support - the emotional, informational, or material assistance provided by other people in one’s social network. (Perception or actual)
We often turn to others for support when we are under stress.

13. Why Do We Need It? Security: Both Physical and Emotional
Social Reality
Social Regulation
Social Utility

14. Focus on Application: Health Psychology and Social Support
Health psychology - the study of behavioral and psychological factors that affect illness.
There are a number of positive health benefits that come with having social (either human or canine) support.

15. Focus on Application: Health Psychology and Social Support
Effects of High Social Support –
Perceived and actual high SS have lower mortality rates
Have less incidence of CHD
Faster recovery from chronic illness
High and low SS in marriage moderates the effect of other SS

16. Intro To Schachter’s Work on Anxiety (Fear) and Affiliation
Does Anxiety Lead to Affiliation?
Induce High or Low Anxiety via Supposed Shock Levels
People then fill out a scale of affiliation
Very much prefer to be alone
prefer to be alone
don’t care
prefer being together with others
very much prefer being together with others.

17. Intro To Schachter’s Work on Anxiety (Fear) and Affiliation
High Anxiety People Strongly Prefer to be With Others
So It does lead to affiliation, but with whom?
Same Study, but varies whether people who they can wait with are in the same situation (will be shocked), or are just others in general (not waiting for the study)
In the condition where they could wait with others who would be shocked, the majority choose this option. If they could wait with general others, none choose this option.
So the desire appears to be motivated by similarity of circumstances

18. Intro To Schachter’s Work on Anxiety (Fear) and Affiliation
Why Does Anxiety Lead to Affiliation with Similar Others?
1. Escape
2. Cognitive clarity
3. Direct anxiety reduction
4. Indirect anxiety reduction
5. Self-evaluation
Ruled out by no talking studies
Ruled out by dissimilar others study

19. Summary of Anxiety and Affiliation
Affiliation with whom:
People desire to be with similar others, others in similar circumstances
Why?
Direct anxiety reduction
Social Evaluation

20. Schachter’s Other Work - Birth Order and Fear (Anxiety)
Stanley Schachter (1959) informed students they would be receiving electric shocks that, though “quite painful,” would do no “permanent damage”:
“These shocks will hurt. They will be painful. As you can guess, if, in research of this sort, we’re to learn anything at all that will really help humanity, it is necessary that our shocks be intense.” (High Fear)

21. Getting Social Support
Birth Order and Fear
Other students (Low Fear) were told they would receive mild and painless electrical stimulations, that will “resemble more a tickle or a tingle than anything unpleasant.”
Students were then given the opportunity to wait alone or with others.

22. Getting Social Support
Birth Order and Fear
The researchers compared how first-born (and only children) reacted to fear, as compared to later-born children.
Schachter hypothesized that first-borns, whose parents had been more likely to soothe their every concern, would be more likely to want to affiliate with others when they were threatened.

23. Percentage Wanting to Wait With Others
esearch
Getting Social Support
100 75
Percentage Wanting to Wait With Others 50 25
Low Fear
High Fear
Later-born participants’ decisions to wait alone or with others were not influenced by fear.

24. Percentage Wanting to Wait With Others
esearch
Getting Social Support
100 75
Percentage Wanting to Wait With Others 50 25
Low Fear
High Fear
First-born participants, however, were substantially more likely to want to wait with others when they were afraid.

25. Getting Social Support
Birth Order and Fear
Conclusion: Firstborn and only children tend to seek social support in anticipation of a stressful event, while later-borns are less likely to seek social support.

26. Threats: Why Misery (Sometimes) Loves Company
Getting Social Support
Threats: Why Misery (Sometimes) Loves Company
Impersonal dangers and social isolation both increase our motivation for social support.
The potential for embarrassment decreases that motivation.

27. Interactions: Pushing Support Away
Getting Social Support
Interactions: Pushing Support Away
Some people actively reject social support.
We do not always perceive social social support as a good thing, especially when we cannot reciprocate.

28. Focus on Social Dysfunction: The Self-Perpetuating Cycle of Loneliness and Depression

29. Loneliness Depression
Discomfort around others
Others begin to avoid person
Negative Interpersonal Behaviors
Avoiding Others
Self-Defeating Thoughts
Depression

30. Focus on Social Dysfunction: The Self-Perpetuating Cycle of Loneliness and Depression
Depressed individuals tend to focus on negative aspects of their lives, which can alienate others.
Lonely people often cope with isolation in counterproductive ways.

31. Attachment and Social Development
People whose parents provided a secure relationship are better suited to handle stresses later on in life.
This may be because they are better equipped to get support.

32. Attachment and Social Development
Adolescents and college students increasingly turn from parents to peers for support.
Even in college, people who have reassuring relationships with parents have less negative moods and get good grades.

33. GETTING INFORMATION
Other people can provide a wealth of facts helpful for solving problems in the physical world (Example: How to build a fire)
When it comes to social realities (do others perceive you as friendly?) - other people’s opinions are more or less all that matters.

34. Social Comparison and Liking for Similar Others
Getting Information
Social Comparison and Liking for Similar Others
Our motivation to obtain information from others is partly driven by a desire for accurate information.
But part of the attraction of getting information from similar others is the positivity bias.
Information that others agree with us makes us feel good.

35. Self-Disclosers and Non-Disclosers
Getting Information
Self-Disclosers and Non-Disclosers
A key aspect of being a friend is self- disclosure.
Self-disclosure - the sharing of intimate information about oneself.
People who disclose more about themselves are more likable.
Women are generally more disclosing than men.

36. Uncertainty and Similarity of Others
Getting Information
Uncertainty and Similarity of Others
Uncertainty increases the desire to make social comparisons.
When we’re afraid, part of why we desire the company of others is to compare our own reactions with theirs.

37. Uncertainty and Similarity of Others
Getting Information
Uncertainty and Similarity of Others
Many studies support the theory that when we’re uncertain, we prefer information from similar others.
But if the issue is highly important to us (not ambiguous and is self- relevant), we prefer affiliating with others who can give us accurate information, whether they are similar or not.

38. When Dissimilarity Can Save Self-Esteem
Getting Information
When Dissimilarity Can Save Self-Esteem
We tend to be uncomfortable when someone excels on a characteristic we see as central to our self-esteem, especially when that person is a close friend.

39. GAINING STATUS
Humans, like chimpanzees, often form alliances to improve their position in the social dominance hierarchy.

40. Sex Differences in Friendships
Gaining Status
Sex Differences in Friendships
Men’s relationships are marked more by hierarchy and instrumentality (components of status-seeking)
Women’s more by an emphasis on emotional support and intimacy.
Consequently, men get more respect in their relationships, but women get more affection.

41. Gaining Status
Status by Association
The desire to form friendships with high status individuals is especially strong in status-oriented cultures (example: Japan > United States)
People often try to break social connections that could reflect poorly on them (example: dishonest, hostile, or stigmatized others).

42. Cutting Off Reflected Failure
Gaining Status
Cutting Off Reflected Failure
Students in one experiment were assigned to the “Blue Team,” to work together on intellectual problems.
They were later told that their team scored either:
Above 90 percent of people their age
Below 70 percent of people their age
Controls were given no information
Snyder, Lassegard, & Ford (1986)

43. Percent Taking a “Blue Team” Badge
esearch
Gaining Status
100 80 60
Percent Taking a “Blue Team” Badge 40 20
Failure
No Information
Success
Students whose team had performed well “basked in reflecting glory,” proudly displaying their team affiliation.
Snyder, Lassegard, & Ford (1986)

44. Percent Taking a “Blue Team” Badge
esearch
Gaining Status
100 80 60
Percent Taking a “Blue Team” Badge 40 20
Failure
No Information
Success
Students whose team had performed poorly “cut off reflected failure” by avoiding wearing the badges.
Snyder, Lassegard, & Ford (1986)

45. Seeking Status May Erode Social Support
Gaining Status
Seeking Status May Erode Social Support
Pursuing status motives in our relationships may reduce social support.
Men may create social worlds that are status-oriented but not as socially supportive as the worlds created by women.

46. EXCHANGING MATERIAL BENEFITS
Because of the importance of sharing resources, all societies have strong rules about sharing.
(Example: Ache hunters in Paraguay have random runs of luck, and would not survive if they did not share with one another)

47. Fundamental Patterns of Social Exchange
Exchanging Material Benefits
Fundamental Patterns of Social Exchange
Social exchange - The trading of benefits within relationships.
Equity - State of affairs in which one person’s benefits and costs from relationship are proportional to benefits and costs incurred by partner.
Equity is not the only form of social exchange for all relationships:

48. Models of Social Exchange
Exchange Rules
Example
Communal Sharing
Authority Ranking
Equality Matching
Market Pricing

49. Models of Social Exchange
Exchange Rules
Example
Communal Sharing
All group members share in the group’s resources as needed and depend on one another for mutual care.
Tight-knit family
Authority Ranking
Equality Matching
Market Pricing

50. Models of Social Exchange
Exchange Rules
Example
Communal Sharing
Tight-knit family
Higher-ranking individuals are entitled to loyalty, respect, and deference; lower-ranking individuals are entitled to protection, advice, and leadership.
Military squad
Authority Ranking
Equality Matching
Market Pricing

51. Models of Social Exchange Children playing a game
Exchange Rules
Example
Communal Sharing
Tight-knit family
Military squad
Authority Ranking
No one gets more than others; people take turns, share equally, and reciprocate benefits.
Children playing a game
Equality Matching
Market Pricing

52. Models of Social Exchange Children playing a game
Exchange Rules
Example
Communal Sharing
Tight-knit family
Military squad
Authority Ranking
Children playing a game
Equality Matching
Individuals trade according to rational rules of self-interest, taking goods and services in proportion to what they put in, and seeking the best possible “deal.”
Customer & Shopkeeper
Market Pricing

53. Individual Differences in Communal Orientation
Exchanging Material Benefits
Individual Differences in Communal Orientation
People who have a communal orientation are less concerned with keeping careful track of inputs and outputs in their relationships with others.

54. Communal and Exchange Relationships
Exchanging Material Benefits
Communal and Exchange Relationships
People are more likely to adopt a needs- based rule in communal relationships.
(Example: If you are taken sick, your spouse will excuse you from your share of the housework, but your credit-card banker won’t care)

55. Exchanging Material Benefits
Proximity
Proximity-attraction principle - The tendency to become friends with those who live or work nearby.
May be due partly to the ease of exchange with neighbors, and partly to:
Mere exposure effect - The tendency to feel positively towards stimuli we have seen frequently.