1. Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Martha Reavley
Odette School of Business

2. Introduction
Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness

3. Topics of Discussion
Models of effective communication: basic model and the pyramid of mutuality
Communication styles
Native tongue exercise

4. The Basic Model of Communication
Sender message receiver
channel
noise

5. Pyramid of Mutuality Mutual Respect Mutual Meaning Mutual Purpose
Silence
Violence
Withdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking

6. Mutuality A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust
Sharing things in common
Seeking for things in common:
interests
goals
values

7. Mutual Purpose
Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust
Something we want

8. Mutual Meaning
Observations, assumptions, conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid
Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning
Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking

9. Mutual Respect Critical for maintaining dialogue
Both parties choose to treat each other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent

10. Silence - to - Violence continuum
Dialogue
Violence
Silence
Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking

11. Silence Strategies
Politicking: selectively hiding and showing meaning. We hide our motives or withhold assumptions
Hiding: talking without revealing anything. Manipulative conversations
Withdrawing: Pulling out of communication completely. The most severe form of silence.

12. Silence Strategies exs.
At work
In school
At home
With friends

13. Violence Strategies
Monologuing: Talking with the sole purpose of getting what you want. Communication is unidirectional.
Labeling: Turing people into categories or things in order to get what you want. Makes it easier to do or say anything.
Attacking: Communicating for the sole purpose of pushing or hurting. It includes harsh accusation, yelling and raw invective.

14. Violence strategies exs.
At work
At school
At home
With friends

15. Strategies Test 1. Let me see if I understand. 2. Oh yeah, you bozo.
3. If you say so.
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee.
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline?
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it!
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.
8. You bean counters always think that way.
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job.

16. Answers 1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling
8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job. politicking

17. Effective Communication:
A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour

18. Underlying Values

19. 3 Practice Scripts

20. Native Tongue Exercise

21. What This Means For Change
Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm voice when speaking to…
Critique your performance: How did you violate the rule? What went wrong?
Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting match….
Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue

22. Next Steps Commit to effective communication
4/20/2017
Next Steps
Commit to effective communication
Understand the problems within your group
Document your progress in you diary